THREE TIPS to deal with GOSSIP: how to survive the rumor mill

I am currently the victim in my theater group of a rumor that I don’t think is intended to hurt me, but is bad bc the people who I don’t but people think I have crushes on may find out and believe them which I do not want since they are my friends. Thank you very much.

hey Psychacks, I really want to thank you about this video, I'm actually facing a really bad rumor towards me and it's happening in my school, and today I'm going to talk with the authorities, wondering if I should again confront the rumor spreader beforehand or just go tell the authorities. Thank you a lot. I really hope I can get through it

Just found your page and video - you’ve saved me from a sleepless night and creating more drama by approaching a very nasty rude rumour spreading postal mistress lol

Thanks

I needed to hear this so bad, I’ve been killing myself wanting to prove myself innocent but there’s just no point! All the rumors have been getting to my head and harming my relationship with my partner, but I know that it isn’t true. Leaving it alone is the hardest part for me

This is a good one. People say they don't like you, can you also stop talking about me too! They just need something to say and you have to realize it's a point of conversation for them. I don't want to be with you.....I've never had chitterlings be pushed on me so hard....something I never asked for or wanted...discussed, considered, liked, wished for, hoped for....a million people could like me....take me off the list....

I thought your video today was so well articulated. I think you seem like such a decent, authentic guy. I have to admit your videos that show such a dislike of women negatively affected my initial impression of you.

Ryan thank you for explaining all that, I can completely relate to it and understand.

Had that gossip experience on our school. I handled it plain and smooth. I made them believe on what they wanted to believe 😆. We can't change their perception about us since they already have a particular bias but we have the power to project and make them believe in a lie. You can leave them after with pride, grace and dignity.

gossip is how you learn who your true friends are

1. People natyrally don't care about the truth about the guy next door but those who love you and those who don't. People are more likely to decide your truth even before they get to know you.
2. Accept that you have no control over your reputation in other people's minds as well as their opinions. So be indifferent to how they think about you.

This was good for me in a bad time . However when someone says that you abuse females and it affects work and dating life I think legal advice is best

It depends on the situation, I left my ex, she chased me for four months and when she realized that I wasn't coming back, she started telling anyone who would listen that I was a violent man, physically and psychologically. It's not easy to get over that.

Recently a viral post started about me on Reddit that contained lies about me, and I had hundreds of people sending me hateful messages despite me trying to block them all out of my life. Your advice here is keeping me afloat and letting me know that I'll be okay and this will pass. I was so afraid to sleep because I didn't know what was coming next but now I can rest easy because I have the control back in my life. Thank you.

Really liberating stuff

Back biters are as dangerous as a snake.
The tongue is like a fire it can emblaze a whole forest.

People who gossip don't have a life of their own.

Pssst: dont hang your sweaters on hangers. However, many people DO care about the truth.

Well that's stupid ..did u honestly think they'd stop I'm surrounded by racist they vote fir trump and never change

What about taking legal action against somebody who is spreading false gossip?and is it not slander?

Gossip kills friendship, be aware

One of the better answers on this topic. I'm still interested in how to react when bully take advantage of one of your weaknesses, personal secrets that you don't want to share with others, and a direct confrontation would expose you even more to others. For example, a medical condition that you don't want to make public...

@psychacks I doubt you look at comments from year old videos but I could not help thinking while I was listening to you about my case in a custody battle and a secondary battle with Youth Protection (ie. child protective services) , These are two courts that operate on the basis of proof that is the lowest threshold possible, and what would be termed rumour. It is not the criminal court standard of Beyond a Reasonable Doubt or even the lesser Reasonable Doubt but merely, like I say rumour: Preponderance of the Evidence and what the judge mocked me in Youth Court with "You will be surprised how it can be interpreted" after I handed over a drawing and a recording that made plain my child's feelings. And by making plain I mean sobbing of her wish to return home to me, her primary caregiver and her strong dislike for the foster care situation *including admitted abuse) administered by Child Protection. Every point you made I filtered through my experience in the court of Preponderance of Evidence, leading to a conclusion of a kangaroo court or court in pantomime.

Having moved my family from Europe into a new Canadian village, reputation is the foundation for the 6 year old child of parents in our 5th decade of life. When my wife arrived and disliked the change, she started a rumour mill as a way to garner immediate attention. And it led to a custody battle within 7 months of her arrival. Her allies melted away from her when the court got involved but the damage to the family within this community where we live - it has been 3.5 years since our arrival in this village - is permanent. Good people, and I stress good people, stay away from us though we had begun a promising relationship with them. And the people who come to my aid now are bitter childless (family-less) men. The women here are, to the best of my ability to describe their behaviour, weird. And we have had 9 visits from Child Protection based on anonymous tips from strangers in the community who do not know us well enough to know my gifted-learning child is home schooled. A bruise (1) from her playing on the baseball team led to her being placed in Child Protection care and I have not had the opportunity to address the court for 316 days while she has been in foster care. I have supervised visits where my daughter tells me about the three layers of abuse she undergoes: physical, emotional, and the third one no 9 year old should be exposed to on TV let alone experience in real life. And the Court mocks me when I try to rescue her. I must let this all happen until I get a hearing - through the Child Protection has asked the court to entirely remove me as parent, likely due to the fact my daughter and I are close and she does not like CPS.

So, rumour mill. I wish I could just let it all slide. I am old enough not to care but I cannot do that.

Very helpful info 🙌

THANK YOU!!

The idea that one should turn the other cheek and accept that people are allowed to drag your name over the garbage dump is not an opption for me personally. They must be exposed and dealt with accordingly. Some gossip affects peoples lives forever and perhaps ruins their carreers and damages family life forever. Having said that... I once read a statistic that said 75% of the time people believe the 1st thing they hear about you. This is alarming . What I do now is upon meeting a group of peers or party goers, I tell them immediatley who I am . I usually say it with good humour and a smile but I get the point across.
My name is William, I am pleased to meet you , I work for so and so, I have a wife and 2 children, I've never cheated on my wife and haver never committed or have been convicted of a crime . You don't have to like me but I'm hoping you do. Please do not spread malicious lies and gossip about me but I will not accept such behaviour.
Usually with a smile and a chuckle we get along fine.

Thank you.

It's a sick truth: "If people aren't talking about you, you're not doing anything important." Gossip is pure poison, but many people find solace in their unhappy lives by gossiping about others. It stings and can cause psychological damage if one internalizes what is being said about them. Don't internalize, no matter how much the gossip stings.

thanks alot for ur wise words very much needed

Just block these people from your life & go on about your daily routine- remember gossip says more about the one spreading it than the victim of it-😊

I'm in the middle of a gossip campaign as well, 5 rumors in the first 3+ months at this new job of mine at a forklift repair company, I am the service advisor and do lots of estimates for customers).

Gossip examples:
That i'm dating a guy there (we are actually former colleagues at a fidd work place) and sometimes he drops me home. He heard the gossip too. hat I don't want to say hi to this or that one, though I have work to do and cannot keep company to everyone when they want me to, etc etc etc.
I laugh about it because it sounds so stupid and far fetched. But I did notice something: they never ask me questions about my life, or if something is true or not about me. Never any questions. So yes, I concur, "they don't care about the truth". Otherwise, they would have asked questions so far. They've had many, many chances, and not 1 question asked. So, if they are indifferent, so am I.

But what I wanted to say is: Just imagine the attention these guys give to someone else (myself, in this case). Negative or positive, it is still attention. It's insane.
Also, my simple way of thinking is: i find it funny, I giggle a lot of times but say nothing because it will simply be denied; it reveals the true nature of some people, and it's such a waste of time for them - that time they waste gossiping, will never ever come back, it's forever lost.
No, I am not the only one they gossip about, they actually gossip about each other when one of them is missing a day of work, etc. Oh boy.
They are very indirect as a culture (though I asked them from the very beginning to try and be direct with me..........I guess they didn;t appreciate it or confuse being direct with being rude - very typical thinking in the North American culture I;ve been living in for the past 13 years), they are afraid to ask questions... anyway, they are weird Canadians, that's all there is to it.

Piece of advise: Do come home and take precise notes, with time and date that it happened and who said it; you never know when you have to save your own skin. Be smart and private about it.

Are you a psychologist? I'd like to talk to you? Because of this video.

I have had a lifetime of gossips telling lies about me. People either love or don't. But what I've found when I look a little deeper... The people who like me are happy, secure, confident... The people who don't are none of those things.

Thank you

Thanks!

Much love Dr Orion

Summary：
1. People don't really care about the truth.
2. Your reputation is not under the domain of your control.
3. Others already moved on.
Move on with your true friends.

You enhanced my life! Thank you soooo much! I needed to hear that tremondiusly. Thanks again.

It's hard, i want to be perceived as I am, I want to untangle misconceptions. I don't want to be entangled with the energy of people who interfere with my energy. Perhaps the better option is to own all the gossip as true, if not yet, soon.. then when EVERYONE is quantum entangled and you've exhausted your drive for everything, or existing in everything, then sever ALL those attachments, or ignite ALL those attachments

last tip was the best ty sir

gossips is like cancer

Great tips. Once it happened to me in university, that everybody thought, that I have punched three women. There was nothing I was able to do about it and my closest friends took this opportunity to make themselves more popular and make more rumors. I did not invest the time to look out for others, to see who my real friends were as my little friend group turned against me and I couldn't know possibly, who was on my side, so I just moved universities.

All parties apart from yourself are hankering for a juice story to pass around. And that’s all it is a juicy story to entertain their drab boring lives.

Gangstalkers tell rumors about us TI's to get others to participate in our harassment.

if they dont like you they will belive the worse case about you..lets not also forget slef fufilling prohacy if they hear osmthing u do things u do will be interpted as backing up evidence that there is truth when it may not be the case if someone says ur creep u act creepy but arent a creep they will really think ur a legitimate creep

how to deal with bullies? please do a video

As always, on point, J. I thank the universe for your existence.

Good people are gossiped about cos their got boring lives !

Hi used my smear campaign as way to rise like a phoenix and not give toss . It's only jealous people who believe crap ! God knows truth