6 BRUTAL Truths About Narcissists Survivors Learn TOO LATE

Absolutely 💯 preaching

It is TRANSACTIONAL. FOR A PURPOSE.

Honestly.
Thank you.
I appreciate all your videos.

They were never real... Perfect title for this upload!!!! They are as phoney as a 3 dollar bill. Guilty until PROVEN innocent, meanwhile, they are getting nothing but grey rock from me

Christina: You are so gifted at articulating and explaining these complex, multi layered interpersonal dynamics. Your videos are so very helpful. Thank you!

Well he never told me he loved me I was with a narcissist for I don't know for about 3 years from 22 to 25 and he just kept breaking up with me at different times and I didn't even understand that and when we first got together he told me that he didn't want a relationship and I was okay with that because I didn't want one either but I guess I thought he'd start liking me because we knew each other before I went out with him he did exactly that love bombed me nice and clean that he never cheated on his ex and I'm thinking when I look back why do I need to know that I never thought that I mean whatever happened it happened between you two what do I need to hear about it I never asked him did you cheat on her it's none of my business which makes it really hard to believe that he was with somebody for 14 years before me that's really hard to believe and I'm sure there's been lots of them since then they are serial cheaters and Liars and you can't believe anything they say or do and pretty soon his actions don't match what he says if anybody's reading this please get out while you can and if it's difficult find a way for you and your sanity and if you have children get out cuz it's never going to get any better it's only going to get worse good wishes everyone

Isn't that the truth when I first met him he said he was broken and I'm thinking to myself what am I going to do with a broken man well after I got to know him he was lying about that too because not only was he broken upstairs downstairs too if you ladies know what I mean nothing happening down there. Well at least the top part matches the bottom. Part. And then he kept being hot and cold he was disappearing but I couldn't say anything because we weren't really dating we were just you know fooling around I should have left the first time he took me to breakfast I call it the breakup breakfast and he says to me right after we finished eating I can't do this anymore and I looked at him and I said do what what are you talking about you know us we actually didn't say us he said she couldn't do this anymore he said he wanted to be more like God what the heck is that supposed to mean never even knew the guy was religious never knew he went to church guess what ladies it was fake go to church there was no God I never see him with a book I never heard about him going to church so it was all lies it's pretty sad when you have to lie about everything that you're doing sometimes these were things that didn't even matter

The best truth is when you realize you never really loved them. Because they had no integrity, no authenticity, no honesty...they didn't give you respect, or kindness, or safety, or support... you were never inspired by them, you were never touched by their generosity towards others, you never learned anything valuable about living a beautiful life from them. They weren't ever able to reach that part of your being because they weren't lovable. They were ugly and abusive...you couldn't really love something like that...your heart wasn't truly engaged and full.
Knowing that genuine love wasn't lost...because it simply never existed... is the most freeing truth I have come to realize on my healing journey.

Whether she tbinks im a narcissist or not. I never knew i was the scapegoated child of my family until i went to the healing she introduced me to. I was unhealed and codependant and developed many narcissitic traits from being raised in that enviornent. Now that im speaking out sbout scapegoating abuse. Its all too real. Im villianized, demonized. Ect..therefore when i disappear..tjey will shame me for that too. I hope she doesnt join in. But im afraid sbe will..

That’s very well explained. Thanks!

God turns even that pain into wisdom. We may have learned late, but now we’ll never be the same. 🙏💔🔥

Sound quality on this vid mot great.

I'm awake😅😅😅😅. Just never try to sublty warn the new girlfriend, it will backfire.... Unfortunately

Wow! Christina, thank you. This is one of the best analysis I have heard about what the truth behind the narcisist’s manipulation is! I will listen to it again and again. It’s brilliant. You are so wise and articulate. God bless you ❤️

The truth hurts. But it also sets us free 😊

❤

The break up was the easy part.
The hardest part for me, even after 20 years, is coming to terms that it wasn't real.
It was all a manipulative act, and I fell for it hook, line and sinker.

Great video It was a month ago when my five-year romantic life ended. I'm deeply affected by the decision to end a relationship with the person I love. I have tried everything to win him back, even if it has been in vain, and I can't picture my life without him. I've done my best to avoid thinking about him, yet I still find myself missing him and thinking about him frequently. Why I am stating this here is beyond me.

TRUTH!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS INFORMATION! ALWAYS DRAMA, CONFLICT AND ABUSE!!

God delivered me from this toxic relationship!! Praise God!!

It was obvious they "loved" their own version of me because when they told people about me, they put me on a pedestal.. I told them this was unfair because when I didn't live up to their standards, I would fall from grace and be shamed by them and others. About 5 months later, I told them I was done with the relationship because of the drama, the lies, the blameshifting, etc, and they panicked... unfortunately, they had taken an ambien and lost their mind on me. Forty minutes and FOURTEEN messages later, they had sent a list of every horrible trait they used to claim I didn't have..

I screenshot all the messages, as my therapist told me to do - so they couldn't back pedal after fights.
By the next morning, they had deleted all the messages and swore they didn't remember a thing because of the ambien. But because of the screenshots, I had proof of what they really felt (or should I say, what they used to try and manipulate me in that moment) and had the upper hand.

When I told them I was definitely done now, they admitted to "overhearing" (AKA- eavesdropping on) a therapy session when I told my therapist in frustration that I was ending it.. they said they finally told me to "prove" I am a liar.
At the time, instead of confronting me, they proceeded to start fights for the following 3 weeks over every petty thing possible but never addressed what they "overheard." Their cowardice just caused the relationship to deteriorate more.

At this point, I'm just happy to live in peace. Let them love/hate whatever they want. 🤷‍♀️

Thank you so much for this. Do I feel "fixed" now that I hear that? No. But I feel validated and like what I am feeling is "normal" or at least expected. I ended a decade long relationship, it took me a year to slowly separate (which could have been dangerous, but I had no options for a clean cut escape), but the fact that he stayed in my home right until he had managed to latch on to someone new felt like he was dumping me. And I don't mean that in terms of how it felt to my ego, but the fact that I feel like I've been abandoned. Now it's this weird feeling of being "all alone", and the depression is so bad that I don't work or see friends. I know there will be better days, but in the meantime, it sucks. Yet it is better than being scared, intimidated, subjected to abuse.

That's exactly what it was happening to me for 8 years..and then he discarded me bc I would not change my ways and I was too difficult to get lenient.

I feel like I’m giving myself brain damage from the constant ruminating. Just non-stop ruminating. They are con artist, predators, and psychological murderers.

I believe my narcissist took photos and videos of me in the act, but I didn’t come to the conclusion until years later. The thought is so mortifying and also not knowing the lies he has told people about me.

He was awful! But I do take accountability for allowing him continued access to my life and to treat me horribly for so long and I am guilty of trying to rationalize all his actions and taking all the blame. Ultimately, I became someone I didn’t recognize anymore.

Thanks! Here is lunch on me. I don't mean to be too personal, but I'd love to give you a hug for posting this video. No intentions, nothing, just true human compassion.

Not sure if you intended to key into a male narcissist. Some of these traits might appear differently in female narcissists.

I was 59 when I finally caught on. At 61, I’m free and will never be in contact again.

Thanks for this. You can't over-emphasize everything is done from the perspective of maintaining control. Once you realize this, many of the crazy behaviors make sense.

He told me he was trying to take my light!!!😮

You help me alot Kristina whenever I listen to such a video as this.
I get empowered by yr videos.
Empowering pple is the most important job on earth because Humans are the pinnacle of God's creation.
Humans also have power to create things.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I am a narc abuse survivor

Did you just say love is a feeling and as it should be? To all those listening….love is not a feeling, nor should be.

There is no more coming back because there is a court case do to physical violence and 911 calls several times in a short period of time There is no contact due to upcoming court. Hope he gets his justice as physically assaulted me 2x in 3 days.

You are an expert in this topic. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and insights. You are helping so many get out of the worst type of relationship a human can be in.

It’s sad that the guy who looked into my eyes during our entire wedding ceremony and showed me such sweetness and generosity in the beginning was not real after all. Over 30 years later, I left. I had experienced a couple of health scares and realized that I could not waste any more years of my life, feeling no intimacy, support, a true partnership, or an emotional bond. He quickly found a replacement on a dating app. They’re still together after two years and our adult son says they look happy. Good for them. I have done a great deal of work and found love again, in part thanks to your videos. 💕

🌈🙏💫
IMHO-This is a “Top 1% “ video of videos! Ages epic and laid out so succinctly clear and pinpoint! Ever dialed info!! A super best breakdown Ive ever heard and Ive been listening for yeaaaars like 12ish when I started w/ Dana of 50 Red Flags 🚩 of the Narcissist!! Surely youve heard of her, I hope! She had a live stream of Tuesdays…. I wo der if they still do that? My sis was a moderator! Anyway good ol days….

But thank you!! Super appreciate this video and your words!
&I have watched and seen you improve over the years , too! Beautiful!😍 🤩 and I am so grateful for the work youve put in as you truly SHINESHINSHINE and it shows! 💛🧚‍♀️💫🌷🙏

omg i totally fell into that trap before!

This is GREAT content. Wow. 🙏🏻When you said they don’t know who they are without someone to control, I thought: they also don’t know who they are without someone to MIRROR. I think their identity is so fragile, labile, and a significant part of them is an emotional infant, so they MUST make sure someone is oriented intensely toward them—or their fear is literally of not surviving. These are deeply unhealed people 😢and so, so unsafe to be close to. I’ve been healing and grieving for 6 years now, and I’m still uncovering layers of confusion, realizations of how I was used as a tool, and trying to hold some both/and so I don’t feel my entire 17 years w them was a lie. There’s grey, there was something like love, and those areas are where the hooks are. Free now.

Narcissists are natural illusionists. It’s their way of their own reality.

How about we own our part? I know most will not agree yet a harsh truth! We chose to dismiss and make excuses for them when they flew their red flags. We chose to dismiss our intuition. Only until we own our part and choose to learn things like self-love, self-respect, and discernment. Until we look within and heal the parts of ourselves that are lacking we are doomed to repeat those harsh lessons.

When I started struggling with rent definitely saw something major

💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥🔥

Hi _ Christine.This video is very powerful..The way it is🙏
Thank you...

My ex and I had an on-and-off relationship for over 20 years, with a recurring pattern of her reappearing just as I was recovering. I always wondered how she did it. Her gaslighting led to severe cognitive dissonance and eventually triggered a nervous breakdown—which, ironically, put an end to what had been a growing cocaine habit, literally overnight. It also created a slight shift in my perspective and I immediately noticed and questioned a couple of behavioral cycles, and the research I did was catalyst to a rapid succession of discoveries and revelations helped me see the relationship more clearly, and also get a grip on my own inherent toxic traits and discover my mother was a narc. After that, my ex was in borrowed time and could not answer my q's. She quickly distanced herself and even tried to erase our history, as if it never happened. It's been a painful and confusing journey, but without that breakdown, it might have never ended.. Stupid bitch got greedy with the manipulations and lost her emotional gravy train.

Yep, I suspected that for years. Why did people treat me like someone I knew I was not ? They needed me to be that person - but why ? It not only happens in relationships but workplaces, families and acquaintances.

The narcissist claims he changed . He got worse !

When the mask first came down, and i was in a complete state of confusion he said to me "i cant be what you want me to be". I didnt understand. But now i think he meant he couldnt be who he had been pretending to be for the last 12 years.

Do they KNOW that they are doing all this?