How to Not Compare Yourself to Others During College Apps: Opening Up About My Self Comparisons

I love this Iris! It's so easy to fall into the trap of comparison with school, work, and so much more. It's comforting to know, though, that self comparison is something we all struggle with and there are ways we can actively work to stop it. :)

This video was extremely helpful! Thanks for your support through this channel. Could you make a video for international students applying to US colleges(an interview with international students who got accepted or just general tips and advice)?

Love the video!! Coming from a predominantly competitive school in north Texas, I have always been told by my peers that I am not in the clubs or activities that the quote on quote "asian" student would be in. Despite my accomplishments and projects in the field of interventional cardiology, I was told that I would never make it into the top schools because I dedicated too much time to band. As compared to other states, Texas band is relatively more time consuming and competitive as opposed to band in other states. This constant criticism would always put me down, but now looking back at my accomplishments and leadership within the music sphere of my life, I found myself to be unique compared to the average Indian applicant I was always told to portray. I am not the kind of person who does research for the sake of doing research or competes in competitions for the sake of just winning and putting something on my resume. You don't have to be typical to be accepted. Overall, I hope this message resonates with someone who may be in the same position as I was.💜

Thank you so much for making this video! I also compare myself a lot to my other classmates and sometimes think that I won't be admitted to a certain college because they are doing much better than me. But this video helped me out so much!

Hi iris! I’m a rising junior and I just discovered your channel a few days ago and you’re so helpful!

This is amazing, love youuu

Excellent video! Those are very helpful advices not just for college students but for everyone! Thank you very much Iris! You’re so true!

This video really helped me thanks

Thank you for this video♥️ A lot of us needed this, especially people like me. I love your videos btw, they are so informative!!! Keep going Iris!

This video is 10000/10 😤 thank you iris for delivering

Hi iris do you mind reading my common app essay and telling me what you think about. If you can could you leave an email I can send it to? Thanks in advance

Hey Iris! I also had a question in regards to the common app. Can I use the additional information section to elaborate on the extracurriculars I have already listed to further explain their significancy and establish their credibility/legitimacy?

this video was so necessary <3 especially for everyone applying this year with covid messing everything up and ap scores coming this week

Iris I really really respect your ideas and thoughts but its to be honest not comparing yourself is easier saod than done. I mean how can some one not compare their self to others that are 100 times better than theirsleves. For example someone who goes to a specialized schol,they have better education,which means better grades and better scores. That means that colleges will prefer that person over yourself. It is really hard living while knowing that. But I really love your videos and you inspired me to do so kany good things Thank You! 🙏

hey iris! i just wanted to quickly say how much i love your channel and how helpful it is! your videos always motivate me so much. keep up the great work❤️

Hi Iris! I have only participated in only 2 sports for my extracurricular activities and have taken the most rigorous classes for math and science classes only. Do I have a chance at getting into top tier engineering schools?
P.S. I have gotten a few B's in lower-level classes but got mostly A's.
Your videos are extremely helpful! Thanks!

this is exactly what i needed right now. ive been comparing myself sm during the past few months bc of college apps and i love you for posting this. thank you!

Have you considered create a discord server?

I loved this video because I really relate to it–I think we tend to compare ourselves to only the successes of others. As you said, we have an obsession with always succeeding at everything, and I think that obsession results in all of us glorifying our successful moments, but not showing our failures. However, we do see our own failures, which is what forms our holistic identities. We then compare our holistic identities, which is made of good and bad, with the successes that everyone portrays of themselves, and that is when it becomes unhealthy.

Also, I asked last time which font size you used in your book and I think you told me your book's dimensions😹But can you please tell me which font size you used for the text? My book's dimensions are quite close to yours, and I'm using font size 15(and the font is called "lato")...I feel like that is way too big, but I'm not sure. Please help😹

Hi Iris, I come from a low-income area with very little extracurricular opportunities. My only ECs are music (state-level) and volunteering, but I have really great grades. I am an upcoming senior so I feel that it is too late for me to do anything to polish my profile. How can I increase my chances at top tier schools given my circumstances?

Hey Iris! I need honest feedback. Do I have a chance to get into Stanford or Princeton if I have 4 B+’s and 2 B-‘s in my transcript. I have an explanation about my low grades. This was in my freshman year. I was dealing with a family loss, I was working three part time jobs and my sister had a major depression disorder that affected me. I also had to take care of two siblings. It was really difficult but I tried to keep my grades average. Then, my sophomore year I got all straight A’s except one B in geometry. By the way, the academics in my school aren’t the best. Do I still have a chance?

I just got rejected from a nonprofit and what’s even worse is that my friend got in, I know this is isn’t about college but I could relate and this helped. Thanks.

the rejection resume is such a cool idea! I've been facing some setbacks lately, do you have any advice on getting research opportunities in econ/polisci?

this made me feel a lot better, thank you !

good video as usual! keep up the good work! proud of you and so inspiring 💗

Hey Iris! Great video. I had a general question- apparently some applications like MIT specifically ask if you took the American Math Competitions and your scores. Does that mean that you should do math competitions to get into those schools? Are you at a disadvantage for not doing them?

expressing yourself through journaling, talking to close loved ones and just focusing on your own journey has definitely helped me get through times of comparison - I didn't get into my dream school and was so upset but just have to remember as long as you do your best though the whole process and remember its no longer in your control can be another coping process ((: great video - this is great for young people as well as anyone facing comparisons - basically everyone should see this!! <3

Hey Iris. I had just started my own blog to let out feelings I’ve bottled up over my life and to find what I truly want to do with my life. There’s is also the benefit of me being able to put my blog on my college app. I was wondering if the success and reads of a blog matters when including it into your application? It’d be great to know, as I don’t see my free blog getting many clicks 😅😅.

hi iris! i was wondering if you could give me any honest feedback about my ap scores, as they came out today. i'm a rising junior, and received 3's on ap euro and ap calc ab, and a 5 on ap chinese, taken sophomore year. i'm very disappointed with these scores, as i got As in class and did well on practice questions but completely was off on exam days. i was wondering if these scores will affect my applications to t20 schools in the future?
are there any ways i can "make up" for these poor scores by taking a sat history subject test next year and scoring well or something like that, or am i better off just not even reporting them at all (referring to my 3's)? any advice would be appreciated! thanks!

Hey Iris! This is unrelated but I had a question about subject tests. I just got my AP scores back and didn’t do well on AP bio. Since I want to go in the medical field I wanted to do a lot better. Would taking the bio SAT subject test help a lot if I did well on it? And do you think the AP scores this year don’t mean as much bc of the virus and it was online and cheating? Bc of the virus the earliest date for subject tests is August, which means I have to study for bio all over again. And bc of the virus, as u know, the AP’s only tested some of the chapters. Do u think the subjects tests would also cover those chapter(what we learned in school up until the virus) or do I have to teach myself those topics? Sorry for all the questions. Thank you so much!!

Hi iris, can you give a reason as to why you think Columbia rejected you? Or what do you think you should have done differently in applying to Columbia in order to get accepted there? I also wanted to apply there so I just want to avoid any possible mistakes in my application.

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Good advice!

Hi! Iris this last day i have been watching your videos and a lot more, im thinking of writing a book like you did (diferent ofc) can you explain some tips or things that helped you?
Also ive seen your video about im not sure where to stay. Btw im from spain should I do it in english or spanish (i will probably do english idk) Thank you!!

i needed this iris; because the college application is going to open in a few days, i've been comparing myself to other people, wondering if i am qualified enough to apply to certain schools. so thank you!

Why did you apply to schools in junior year? Shouldn't applicants apply to schools in senior year?

Thank you!!

thank you for the video. i always felt like i don't stand out, i only have high gpa, but don't own any meaningful awards or achievements. and now as sat exams are canceled im going numb.. ugh im already tired of university life

'because I'm not Arpi Pak' seriously loki lol hahaha. ur awesome Girl!

Thank you Iris. Ur words really have healing effects for me, esp at the moment that I got waitlisted by UCLA(

Thank you so much for making these videos! <3

Hi! I am just watching you from Brazil and I wanted to thank you for the video! It really passed an extremely important message and it really helped me! Loving your channel! :))

Love you for ever! -Mom

Thank you soooo much! I am so nervous everyday about my college application, because I read the very top student's personal statement and I keep comparing that to the one I wrote. Ever since, I always deny my own essay. "OMG, I can't feel any passion for biology in my personal statement" and "why my essay sounds so boring" are always in my head. I felt huge anxiety which still haunt me now. My school principal also commented if he was me, he wouldn't wrote an essay like mine. But I also knew that the things I wrote in my personal statement is my mot favorite and proudest thing in my learning process. Watching your video here, I felt a great relieve. Watching your video, I no longer feel the principal's words as a discouragement. It further proves that this is the experience that only I can write about, understand, and experience. Although my essay is limited in showing my passion, I know there's a real curiosity in me that drive me to study. Therefore, I will thrive in any university I go. Nobody says you can only fulfill your curiosity in the top schools. And I'm excited to write a rejection resume to celebrate not only the successes!

Hey iris i just got a bad grade and all of my friends are passing the exam with A' s i just wish them all the best but i just couldnt stop comparing my self to them im the only one that a got a bad grade i feel devastated

ooof I've never done one of these "opening up" videos so tbh I'm a bit nervous. I saw that a lot of you all are feeling exactly what I was feeling, which is that "we're not doing enough" or "we're not good enough". That's why I felt that even with all the advice videos I put out, it's important that I do this video to really talk about the real struggles I faced. Feel free to share your experiences with comparisons in the comments as well, but please, please, please be nice!! We're all in a vulnerable position here <3