Why We Love People Who Hurt Us

I do the vulnerable thing too. I love the idea of being the knight in shining armor rescuing the damsel in distress and looking after her.

Why we love people who hurt us... I don't, I am not a masochist..

My friend what is your skin care routine like. You look good!

Everyone likes it when they find attractive people that are loving to them.

It's a common expression of self love to get someone to do it for you.

wow this woke me..thank you

His mouth is soo long he could eat a banana sideways

I’m attached to people who leave or don’t want me or are very detached people

I hate this so much because it makes sense.

I have no such magnetism., without a bond to that person there will never be anything prior.,

Everything goes back to our childhood we ar more often attracted to people who remind us of our parents unfortunately

Some of this is true for me and some of it isnt, i havnt found that any of my partners were anything like the way my parents were. But the bit about us being attracted to people who show traits that we were taught to repress is true for me. I find myself attracted to almost hyperactive girls because i was always told to calm down when i was younger.

Holy j

Im putting pressure on my gf to break up with my bc my mom left when i was a kid

Hey, Charlie! I love your videos! I applied them in my life and I feel much more confident now. Thank You.
Can you also make a video for your audience on how to break away from this patterns we learnt in childhood and how to start building new habits?

My parents have always been loving people and never hurt me. I was bullied in school at one point tho, and I think the bullying pattern is what shaped me. That’s not far fetched, right?

Wow your thumbnails are getting out of hand

I’m just like this guy! I have realized that I am most attracted to a girl when they are emotionally vulnerable with me but I always tried to push this idea out because I don’t like that idea.

You’re a certified poacher 🤦‍♂️ what a douche!

I'll probably watch this video several times over my life time; it's very well done. Thank you.

How the hell am i to remember my parents when i was a todler

I think I have the same issue what happens though is you're not Superman enough to fix literally everything and things start falling apart

I can't believe that what happens to Charlie exactly happens to me, I always end up with people who need me and trying to be a "saviour". Of course that didn't take me anywhere and I suffered a lot. Time to change

I don't remember my care takers.

People only love what they can get from you. They are not interested in you. Humans are users. We live in a superficial world but are in denial about it. We convince ourselves that love exists because we can't accept the fact that it's a myth because it would mean life is worthless. So ...we pretend just to make it thru.

Brilliant

All of my exes were fuckin neurotic , like literally

You should not be in any relationship if you feel that you need to be with someone in order to feel whole. Work on yourself and complete yourself and only then should you be in a relationship and allow that person to add to your wholeness instead of completing it.

You’re 30?!

Holy sh*t, I had heard the thing about being attracted to the emotional style of your parents, but it had NEVER occurred to me how we (I) could be reinforcing that behavior. Wild.
Edit: Also explains why so many people are drawn to 'evil' archetypes - we are taught to be good and kind etc, but everyone still has those selfish desires deep down.

Fascinating...and well said, so clear. Thanks

This was a very good one! Thank you Charlie!

Love this. This is a good slap in the face for me. Very helpful.

I had to be longer in my present commitments than live for the long term commitments. this is my number weakness.

One of the most impactful videos ive ever watched, it effortlessly made sense and i related to it a lot

I wish I could just drop a voice note and I say everything i feel, typing makes me second guess

This is a great explanation of my condition, but at the same time doesn't help at all :<

Holy crap Charlie I am exactly like you. I knew all of this but it was a nice reminder. This definitely explains why I am drawn to your channel even though I know most of the stuff you talk about! You have the safe type of energy as me!

Each word you said, I felt it being mirrored in my life. Your channel is one of the best, but this video truly touched me since it's been experienced by others too.

lots of helpful advice but for some reason what I'm focusing on the most are the words "I'm thirty"

Two words - trauma bonding

What does it say about me that I want someone pretty much just like me?

I MAKE LOVE TO MY HAND 3 DAYS A?WEEK..SHE ALWAYS SHOWS ME LOVE AND DOESNT ASK ME FOR GIFTS OR A FREE MEAL

I'm looking for the video where Charlie talks about if we truly love someone, we are willing to respect that person not reciprocating that love back, becuase if we really love them, then we want their best happiness for themselves, whether we are included in that or not. I can't find that video. Has it been taken down? If anyone can link it, I'd be grateful.

I was watching for someone who will hug my past because none ever did in my family, someone who changed like me but it has hard past because I want somebody to finally understand me. But it didn't work out, now I will embrace my past by myself because the strongest people are the one who you will never know what they have survived.

I really have stop be mad at myself and understand that their is no person on this earth who will say OMG what have you been through it most be hard for you all I got stop talking about it let it go. I decided to tell that a psychologist still didn't understand me, well no one has to anymore. I will do it by myself and accept no one will ever understand how hard was for me no ever. I accept that

All I ask yes it must really hard for you and that's it all I got stop talking about it what I am asking its not much why it's so impossible to tell

I absolutely not finding similar to my childhood, that's why I am single for very long time to out grow many bad things now I need to out grow my maddnes on my past.
My madness come from now to me it all goes so easy why I shouldn't start earlier I will be far far away than I am now in life

Violence and mockery was my entire childhood. If not by my parents, then by my "friends" and it worries me if I seek out such a person...

Amazing vid I really loved this it helped me feel good

this "looking for an image of myself" is what i was drawn to a lot. found a girl that had the same problem about experiences from childhood, not having a happy family, growing up in the abuse at home not understanding why it is happening sometime but never stops. we talk about this childhood experience and i was amazed that she was paying a lot of attention to me and understood everything i said then she would relate to show that she understands me and that we have been in the same situation. it was good talk but then we start arguing about other things since we new each other so well 😆

I am the same in the sense that I am drawn to men who were wounded and need emotional support. Since I know how it is to be in a crisis and to be neglcted and denied help, I don’t want these men to experience what I went thorough . However, I do this at my expense and once this man feels better my purpose to be with him dissipates. It is some sort of savoir complex. It doesn’t lead to a fulfilling long term relationship.

Please tell me it's not mommy issues, please tell me it's not mommy issues