Erica Komisar: Helicopter Parenting Is Bad for Your Kids’ Mental Health

No doy.

"Indoctrinating them into a system that's not working".

Isn't that obvious, from any perspective we take?

Addiction rates,
Entertainment
Economy (wealth disparity, poverty, wage stagnation, etc)
Education
Food
The "Justice" system
Mental health (our entire society)
Physical health
Polarized politics
What we've done to the planet
(Destruction, pollution, water, mass extinction, forever chemicals, etc)

I could go on and on. Obviously, it's not working. It's Western culture.

If the fish tank is contaminated, is it any wonder the fish are unwell?

Our school system has BIG flaws and we are failing our children from the start giving absolutely awful maternity leaves and getting our 6 weeks old infants already in school…. I like how Mrs. Erica is speaking the truth. We need more people to talk about this uncomfortable topic because our children are getting mental health issues so much younger and getting into drugs and being unhappy with themselves more than ever

I am the parent of a disabled child. I had to follow my son around at the park and sporting field and church and beach constantly to protect him. I had to stand next to him at all times to make sure he didn’t hurt himself. I was told by my former father in law I was a “helicopter parent”. I wanted to tell him to get f@&ked on many occasions.

Not enough Dads. Not enough masculinity. Too much of the other.

Is there a link to the full episode with Erica please?! Thank you very much ❤ pls share it

So true! In my dad kids solved our problems on the playground amongst ourselves without the grownups involved. It was the best way to learn how to have healthy relationships for all your life.

Today kids and young adore so insecure and hyper sensitive and damaged and unable to cope with life’s challenges.

It is crisis of both genders.

Czech psychologist helps families to have better ,marriage and raise kids well.
He says in this world, its nt possible to raise children 100 percent well, because of the difficzult society.
But he says tips. He also studied Gabor Mathe book.

He said adfult men dont listen to their wives
because in childhood, as they were 3-6 years old, thye didnt have the father impact
He says its better if mother does her part of caring of children and father should set boundaries.
because 3-6 years old have their mental development
and if mother constantly is telling him, dont jump, dont run, dont play etc
and then he hears the same commands from female teachers till 18,
this man learns to stop listening female authorities
so when he gets marrieda nd his wife wants to fix electricity or furniture
he isnt listening
because of his mom and the female teachers, he heard the commands so many times, thatr only way to be himself, and be a boy/man
was to stop listening
Father should be the one who will set boundaries and teach him to respect his mom
or other women...
Father creates program for him
but if father is rarely home he can not do it.
Its different when 3-6 years old boy hears commands from a father, taht if he hears it just from mom,
his mom has other things to do, so she can not be as patienta lways.

Its also crisis of women, because gilrs arew not build biologically to compete
men are much more good at competition, because they are bipologically build for it, they have different body, different hormones and mentality
men argue with men too, but next day they dont remmeber the conflict
if girls are forced to be competitive and perfrect as men, since childhood,
its not healthy for women, it increases anxiety, and ôlack of self-worth, because women are build differently than men
women have different body, differeent hormones and mentality
Feminity isnt about competition, feminity is about acceptance, kindness, emnpathy.
Therefore male athletes are much happier than female athletes, because women feel lack of selfworth if thye fail in sports
Men are build to be competitive and masculine, so they are happy, they are not as affected by failure.
They take it as motivation. Women are build to be more feminine, not competitive.
which mean their role is to just colaborate with people, without competition, in order to feel full as woman.
He says men were raised as girls in kindergarten or prime school, high school, and girls are forced to be men and be perfect, to be competitive, which isnt their role.
Therefore married couples go to seminars to learn how to communicate with calm attitude and empathy.
We are affected by 6 generations, the way they were raised.
He says its not men or women´s fault, but the system how they were raised.

Lack of father influence...who isnt in family, or he is constantly at work and never present with sons
according the psychologists, he can not develop such respect for women

because he hears mostly from mom, or even from older sisters who are mimicking the mom,
constand commands Dont, dont do this, dont play, or jump, dont be loud...
its a normal boy behavior....
he hears it since age 3 years old
on top of it he has very difficult personality around age 6, he is just exploring the world...so he may do stuff that his mom doesnt like,
so father should be present and set boundaries in healthy way
and if he hears 200 000 commands from mom and from female teachers till age 18
and doesnt hear the commands or advice from a male role models or father, or feel his influence to be respectful but competitive
the effect is that in his marriage he isnt listening his wife ideas about fixings something, or helping with something
because he had to stop listening female role models in order to develop his own individuality as a man
Because women are build for cooperation with others
men are build fro competition.
and if both genders are raised in wrong way they can not colaborate together.
Women also were raised in wrong way, since chiíldhood they were forced to compete in man´s world
even though women are nít build for competition , but for collaboration with others.
Feminity is about acceptance collaboration, empathy
competition suits men better, its natural for them. They dont feel as drained from being competitive,
Women and small girls are anxious for being competitive, because they think that being competitive is suiting their selfworth as a woman.

If fathers are too much at work...at least craete some couching programs
male coaches who would teach boys practical things about being a boy and creative
buta t the sam etime respectfula and conscious.

If in schools are too many female teachers
in sports clubs the boys amy mee the male role models coaches.
But teh male coaches should be aware of this problem, so they will raelise both genders need to be respected.

Politicians are not talking about the mental problems among kids, because it doesn’t give them votes.

Some Psychologists say children shouldnt even go to kindergarten, its the age when the kids need the parents the most...especially if parents can afford it financially to stay with kid.

with all the rules they lose part of their personality to follow the strict rules
because they dont ahve authomatic emotional regulation as adults have, therefore especially boys suffer from mental illness much more and also partially because of not having the male role models, as thye are often whole day with female authorities or strangers etc...But in family the parents can create the rules witha kind communication.. Children enjoy boundaries, but with people they trust as with parents.

yeah that's because there's not as much pushback as there was a few decades ago when a kid mouths off there not going to be hit with a belt like my mom was growing up or get their mouth washed out with soap as even I did once for accidentally using the F word age 12 at my paternal grandmothers house

Excellent advice!

The problem with this is now parents arent parenting

Helicopter parents make up like 2 percent of parenting. The rest don’t do it all and let their kids listen to Megan thee stallion I just reported a video the other day for a mom twerking in front of a toddler as the toddler just stared into his own mothers rear end. Humans are literally disgusting

This view she has is very skewed. 14 year old boys were going to war and very lively, very purpose driven, very ready to play a huge role in society.

Our children don’t need less pressure. They need God.

When Europe decided to turn its back on God and it thought itself so wise to get rid of acknowledging God as the first and foremost important person in our life, you will have children who are distressed and don’t feel like living.

Because without God and His design, it’s like killing your child’s first love, and expecting them to go on in an empty meaningless life you created in society for them to be a part of.

When God is first, you will notice that we can move mountains 🏔️

I am sad for children who have mothers who think their children are so pathetic that they think they can’t handle such a tiny thing like dedicating themselves to a particular craft and striving with their whole being because they have purpose that God gave them before the foundations of this Earth. They are called.

Woe to the ones who damage these little ones and try to make them feel pathetic and not good enough to embark and fight in this evil world.

Just don't let kids explore the internet when they are too young! It's more dangerous than the playgrounds.

But didn't 16 year olds marry and have children in the past, or start apprenticing in the family business by then? Or is that more strait forward in a way because there were less decisions? I
m not saying that teens should be running buisnesses and families at 16, but that in some ways they are capable, so how do we let them do what they are ready for, but not push them.

get into(the right) alignment with your deep feelings when using your words-this is my challenge!

Pretty sure antidepressants and outer pharmaceuticals are way more dangerous and responsible for s*icide and mental illness. You can't test for depression. Mental health, the dsm is bs

She said it well and they say children dont have the emotional self-regulation of nervous system.,..that adults need a hug often, but children need it much more
to feel safe
...so parents should often hug them or comfort them with hugs which is very healthy for their nervous system and feeling of safety, becaudse the child feels great trust toward the parent when they are hugged, and when parent asks in kind way how are you, etc having the feeling that parent isnt just giving commands but cares about the wellbeing.

As a resident of Orange County California I decided to raise my son instinctively, like our ancestors, if I feel it’s right I do it, no pressure, he had the worst grades , it wasn’t important to me , I wanted him to make memories and friends in high school, then he entered college and realized this is serious now , and he is one of the best students and most balanced well adjusted person I met in my life.

Sooooo true! My cousins went to private schools and got sent to good colleges and right now one is mentally gone. Just lost it. Lives at home, talks to himself (“or someone”) never leaves the house.. claims he needs to watch the house even though he put cameras inside. Just total schizophrenia. The other one holds a job but is a major addict.
On the other hand, my dad was laid back a little to laid back but I have a decent job where I can live comfortably. Not super succesful money wise but I have a family, I have friends and good social environment and most of all I am happy. Of course I’d love to have more money who doesn’t but like she says successful in living basically. Which IS certainly important !

This is ME!! And I'm a mom of ten. Lord help me ...what wise words she is speaking.

I find it so hilarious, the people yelling helicopter parent! While in the same breath telling parents they arent paying enough attention to their children and calling 911 for seeing a 9 year old walking to the store. Mothers and Fathers trying to parent in todays age: all you can do is your best. There will always be someone to scream about what a terrible job you're doing, but if you are doing the best that you know how to, I applaud you. Our systems are broken. Our public squares are no longer safe and the flames of division amongst society have gotten out of control. So yes, protect your children! Make them aware of the evils while keeping them from harm. That is A PARENTS JOB. To teach and protect! I would much rather be told im over protective than to be a parent who never cared at all. I dealt with those types of parent as a child. I'll be dammed if my kids ever feel that way.

I started to write a lot about the marijuana issue, but I have to note that I live in a state where it is legal. I’ll start by saying some positives. Overall, I do agree with her message about giving kids the type of space she describes while also giving them the type of support she describes. That’s basically the main point of the video which I do agree with. As for the marijuana issue, I acknowledge that people do use it as a disassociative agent, but in every instance of this I see, the person will mix a measured amount of marijuana with an excessive amount of over-the-counter medication or other drugs. The safety profile of marijuana along with it being tested, labeled, orally consumable, and so medically effective to those of us with disabilities leaves it difficult to criticize. I do acknowledge that it can cause psychosis in those with a predisposition and/or those who ingested too much, but in a majority of these cases, the issue resolves, and if a person consumes too much, they are less likely to in the future as legalization and labeling and packaging standards have gone to great length to prevent this from happening.

Another really good reason to repeal the 19th. amendment.

Lol this western method of complete let them do whatever they only do one thing, smart and naturally exceptional students will stand out and do well while majority of the average ones are doomed.

These so called experts speak in such broad terms as if we are all the same. Nonsense.

Duh

I think we should instill work ethic early but not end goals or outcomes

Meanwhile there is no accountability for the role that media has played with showing children actors treating adult actor parents like they are stupid. And thr clothing industry making and selling clothes for children that makes them look like oversexualized adults! It isn't just the parents that are responsible...even witchy Hillary said "it takes a village to raise a child" and I tell you that the whole village has failed our children! Stop asking where people see themselves in 5 years and setting goals when you're not even promised that you will be alive tomorrow!

Good👍

I’m going through this right now. Mom alienated me from my child for four years, I just recently won shared custody after being absent all that time. Now I finally get to interact with my daughter, but she is terrified of the world. She does not want to play with other children, she will not try anything new or difficult, she does not want to solve any problems and if I take her out to play, she wants me to be within arms reach the entire time. She also cries constantly over just about everything. I’m trying to give her encouragement and comfort her, but I know that this can’t go on like this . Her anxiety is very troubling to me and I cannot trust mom to bring her to appointments with a therapist. Sounds like it more time with her, I make it a point to continue to work on getting her used to making her own decisions and not being so hard on herself. We have been making some progress, this past weekend she went down a small slide by herself at the park and was incredibly proud of herself for overcoming her fear. I don’t know what else to do, but just keep working at it and slowly distance myself a little bit more and more every time we interact so she can learn how to play and be a child

My son is 2 and that is the falling down constantly, exploring and it is soooo hard for me to not be anxiously watching him too close. 😩 With all my care he still bumps here and there and I am already getting nervous when I think about him in prek or school and etc...

Now i see why children now sometimes disrespect olders/adults Their childhood followed by parents who over worry

I've heard this term before, if I wasn't paying attention my kids would be dead ...call it what you want.

Our 6 year old won't leave us alone, we have a helicopter kid!!

More the screens and no learning from consequences nor having them

Helicopter parenting should be directed towards the internet and social media.

helicopter parenting
fawning over women
kneeling to government

I have BPD and i have a 13 month old, I'm also a Montessori directress. I struggle with how much freedom is too much freedom for her. I believe in liberty, in allowing her to explore the environment without butting in, within limit. An example is that she comes down a step to the grass area and is very cautious, so she climbs down the step...she's figured that out on her own because i allowed her to test and see how she gets down on her own. Obviously I'm observing and watching, allowing a bit of a struggle, but not letting it reach frustration. My concern is that I have impulsive risk taking behaviour and so just worry if I'm not by any chance encouraging this same type of behavior by letting her test every limit available for a particular situation. Sounds ridiculous but is an actual concern, I just don't want her being like me in my calculation of risk taking. I also can't help but follow along with what she's showing me she wants to do. She recently realised that she can throw her legs up, to land up on her bottom, on the trampoline. I don't know, alot of other babies are not so daring... She's very obedient inherently and knows "careful" means I better watch out. But still... Could my BPD, aside from behaviour, brain chemical wise, affect her in any way?

I feel so guilty that my OCness (Obssessive Compulsive Disorder - well I’m not actually diagnosed with it, I’m just exaggerating hehe) in terms of health issues and cleanliness, made my toddler anxious also especially during bath time. He cries a lot (scared of the water getting on his face) and the scene is always so stressful for me and my husband. I remember when he was still an infant, I was so careful whenever I bathe him, that no amount of water would get in his mouth (coz we live in a province with quite unclean water). And now that he’s 3, he’s always stressed and crying a lot during bath time 😢

Some other czech psychologist said "Children shouldnt bring the phones into the school.
even if they have the smartphone in their cabinet, during the break they are checking what nonsense their friends sent
and these kids have much worse grades and success and ability to focus in school than kids who left the phone at home.
and all the hard work of teachers is wasted when we expect the teachers to do their best."

I feel like modern parenting takes away the right from kids to risk their own lives.

I see that psychology is getting used of dealing with our lives with terms. Instead of calling it helicopter call it anxious. Why can't people use simple direct language any More 😂

Thats why I have never pressured my kids to read books or write or read because the do it at their own time. I let my kids be kids and enjoy childhood and play. 0-8 A child is meant to play and create memories with their childhood playmates . My 5 year old does amazingly well in school because shes not pressured at home by me forcing her to do homework or read or write and she goes to school and thrive and enjoys learning and good listening skills

This is excellent.