Non-Verbal And Behavioral Cues Associated With Narcissism

My mean narcissistic stepmom is the ONLY adult I know who ROLLS her eyes like a teenager.... Pathetic!!

Before I had knowledge on narcissism but observed the weird behaviours when he raised his voice to shut me out, I raised my pitch, he raised his, I raised mine…eventually we could not hear ourselves.
I was like this is just weird….he just kept getting louder. I was curious and could not fathom it at all, I just thought it reminded me of a child’s behaviour.
Totally fascinating but damn, it’s been a life scratching my head and observing and trying to work the behaviours out.
I thought autism, avoidant personality but had no knowledge of NPD 😬

He used to look past me at the clock on the wall. He would bite his nails and spit them on the floor, which he knows I find disgusting. He would slowly shake his head at me when I was talking. He would scratch his head and arms. He'd rub his eyes, over and over and over, like a little kid. He would roll his eyes. He'd sigh loudly. He'd interrupt me by muttering while I talked, and when I said "can you say that again so I can hear you", he'd say "I didn't say anything". He would completely change the subject, as if I hadn't said anything at all worth responding to. Gaslighting and stonewalling, dismissing and denying, outright lies and contradictions. Everything except open, honest, respectful communication. So draining, for 6 years. I am so glad he left me 8 months ago.

My boss has been changing the tasks, withdrawing the tasks, “I will email you - sorry I have been busy..... recently. I’ll be addressing it this week. Have a good week everyone.

Your talks always make me feel more sane. It is truly a mine field out there. Still plodding along finding my way through the bumps of life. I thank God when I think of Dr C. Shalom. And may God help all who come this way. Peace is precious try not to let the Narcs in your life ruffle your feathers. Stay away from them if you can.

This is an excellent video. Heres an example of nonverbal cues that I ignored. I knew for the longest time that I was being dissed by a friend who didn't respond to my text that I very occasionally sent. She insisted that she was my friend though. She told me that she didn't read her text for days at a time. What she didn't know is that my app tells me when she actually opens the text. My gut was telling me that her message to me was: You're not that important. The final straw for me was when I learned that one of her husband's employees had a stroke. I would see that employee when I visited her husband's store. I texted my friend to find out how that employee was. I waited two days and I texted again: How is so and so? No response. I had ignored my friends silence numerous times but her ignoring my request to find out about another person that I cared about showed me that my friend was not my friend. My gut had known this for so long. I knew that she used those long stretches of time before a response to send her message of how unimportant I was to her. I no longer talk to her or reach out to her. This is also a good example of why you don't want to have neighbors as friends. If you stop talking to them it can be uncomfortable when you see them out and about in the neighborhood.

My experience with the narcissist was whenever he spoke to me he'd touch his index finger to his thumb as if tapping his foot. Very distracting! Very out-of-my mind distracting!!!

Receiving the predatory stink eye is always chilling.

All of this, but OMG, the unsolicited advice! My narc once said "You're really difficult to help". When I had the temerity to tell him he needed to learn the difference between helping and interfering he lost his shit on me.

Thank you, Dr Carter.

Thank you 🙏

Yes. All of these.

Anytime we are celebrating me in anyway my mother in law will dress like she is cleaning her house wont even put deodorant or do her hair she wants to make it so obvious that the "special occassion" is not special for her but if we are going to her house and its her gathering she dresses up and makes an effort. My sons birthday she didnt wear deodorant nor shower and i swear that is the only thing people remember from his 1st birthday is her upset mood and the stench. She is a covert passive aggressive narcassist.😒

Thank you! I've rewatched your video several times at different stages of healing. The more I become aware of unspoken communication the better I feel. Thank you.

Being stared at like a lioness sizing up her prey 🦁

People who are hiding something tend to blink a lot and hide their hands behind their back. It can mean they're lying to you but mostly through this type of body language it usually means they're hiding something. Also, people hiding something will stammer or stutter when the certain subject of what they're trying to avoid is brought up. They may even start sweating on the forehead and it won't be hot in the room. This form of body language isn't fool proof. People can train themselves to avoid the signs but when off guard the body will make it really hard to follow in on a lie.

Clothing like doc said for attention
Coughing /sneezing loud when your near
Rubbing their nose at you (it’s a sign of snubbing you)
Faking being polite to you while using the non-verbal cues ☝️
Pulling down the up face mask when near you while staring directly at you awkwardly then looking down
The list goes on and mostly associated with smear campaigns and used constantly by the flying monkeys!! Pay attention to these micro indicators and non verbal cue’s.

I've experienced that no eye contact and no emotional response towards me but he had a full range of emotional expression towards his friends and coworkers.

be mindful of INTENT/MOTIVE behind odd behaviors because some autistic traits may be misinterpreted as narcissistic 🖤

Thank you for your videos! My parents are both narcissists, my mother is the worst, she is a malignant narcissist. Now, that I am away from both the behaviors they display are so much more prominent an clear that now I am able to deflect any an all attempts to play with my emotions an what an amazing thing it is! 😀

Narcs are able to fake hugs, even kisses! My current narcs do that everyday. They tell me they care, nothing far from the truth!

It's very true. Represented in a hilarious way but provides deep insights. E.g he may keep on looking at his phone when you are talking. But when you are working or focussing on something, he will stare ,like in a very cold frozen investigative look

What's going on when I find my words repeated on the simpsons every day?

I know you know narc abusers not only commit crime but are obsessed with their targets on & offline.
But their behaviors are different but when they mix :certainly crime is involved (stranger & net- to -life stalking/crime, very common)..


People in the spectrum miss nonverbal cues but when we finally learn about them we memorize them & your work like this is so great to permanently memorize & when I am outside & I occasionally see these cues & I keep my distance & they get more aggressive I am like "aha! Dr. Carter is riiiiight, I just dodged a narc!!" yes saves SO much trouble -- once these brainless violent pathologically lying people latch on they try to suck the blood out of you..

TBH there are more of these people on the net than out in the world which makes it really hard to read their cues but I am learning now to ignore online abusers & their pathological jealousy (otherwise they would forget forgettable you, when they forget you = no longer pathologically jealous of you, yes! ;) & the anger---- that comes--- with wasting----- their time-- abusing -strangers that they are obsessed with. 

You just have to accept that you need to be careful with abusers (& like everyone else have surveillance & defense) because they want your attention by abusing you, so are able to commit crimes & often do, but you can also keep living your life & keep creating yo-ru organic original dynamic (which they dont understand or care about anyways & never will) & connect more close to home & locally instead of worrying about strangers too much (just that they can be mentally ill & dangerous, precautions we all take).. Thank you for supporting prevention, science & facts with us Dr Carter :)

What would you say about a husband to whom I was relating a story who interrupts me midflight and says “just interrupting you for a moment.....”, goes on (steamrollering me) with what he wanted to say, then says to me “now, what were you saying?”. And when I say “I don’t know” (because I was completely thrown off track) he then complains about my attitude

Yes, that smiling or laughing at totally inappropriate times!

I pray for u to save many more lives like mine ❤

There's no TWO-WAY communication. That's different from "no communication."

Eye rolling, tongue clicking, almost stomping while walking, quick twist of the head, slamming objects around.

Hahahahaha knocked knee 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Wow first time I heard someone talking about the 'oversmiler' ... that was my ex. When I called the cops on him once for emotional abuse and tearing my belongings off the wall... and I looked out the window and saw him talking with the cop with that crazy 'oversmiling' ... it felt like he was trying to manipulate the cops perceptions of him.

Also, they grunt or say ,”hey” rather than address you by name. They don’t use your name when they speak with you because that would be an admission that you are an individual who deserves a decent response.
This was how my ex was. In 20 years of marriage he never used my name. ( also no terms like dear or darling). He would grunt or say “hey”. He even refused to call the family pets by name because they were pets that I had adopted—making them “mine”. The only person or thing in the family that “deserved” to have a name was the narc!!

Mine attributed his strange behaviors to having self diagnosed aspergers. This, of course, was a lie.

1) Endless boasting and self-congratulatory on repeat. 2) The opposite, negative comments toward self. 3) If someone repeatedly says "I'm not a dick," he is probably a dick. 4) An unnecessary lie told early, such as age. People tell you who they are if you listen.

Thank you for this.

SHOULD I NUMBER MY COMMENTS SEQUENTIALLY AND GET A THUMBS UP? YES NO CONTACT W/SISTER SINCE MARCH, HER COMPANY LEFT ME FEELING DEFEATED AND DOWN, I WON'T HANG OUT W/ANYONE WHO HAS THAT EFFECT ON ME ANYMORE, MY FAMILY WERE ALL NASTY TO WAIT STAFF AND I WAS ALWAYS PLEASANT BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT WE ARE ALL EQUAL, YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THESE POSITIONS WILL BE REVERSED!

Discharging a deadly weapon in a residential subdivision belongs on this list.

Oriental people exhibit micro-closures of the eyes as a cultural attribute. They also often exhibit a stiff gaze, incongruent emotions, tardiness, making excuses, and a tendency to change the topic of discussion. They do these things for the same reasons westerners do, but they perceive these behaviors as normal. Anyone who has intercultural sensitivity should want to include oriental people, so when you see that behavior, instead of ostracising them as one might do, it's a better idea to gently remind them how to avoid these faux-pas actions.

The smirk with a chuckle really gets to me. It’s so invalidating and disrespectful… and hurtful

There are cultural ideologies I am hesitant to state.. I find myself often not one to make eye contact too much. In some cultures it is seen as disrespectful. Now the topic I find myself arriving here is based on conversational narcissism. Which is common to everyone. I am trying to gather clarity of how people behave with regard to how I engage in conversation sometimes. But one thing standing out here is how often I am interrupted by people who definitely become more vocal to block me from conversations. Those things have led to me often not being interested at all in conversation to the point people say I’m quiet a lot. That in itself might be their narcissistic behavior. And or on me me I am here to assess if I myself have narcissistic behaviors that I need to address within myself. This video has giving me some direction at least to better understand if it’s me or other people.

At my father in laws wake our narcissistic sat right behind my husband and I and laughed and made noise to the point I wanted to punch him. He was so careless and this wasn’t the end of this stuff unfortunately.

I've mentioned this before on other videos, however, both of my adult children are text book narcissists! I don't need a psycho therapist to confirm. I've only seen my oldest once in more than 5 years! She hasn't answered my more than 100 phone calls or returned them or my messages- even on holidays etc. She hasn't called me on mother's day or my birthday or holidays in probably 15+ years. I have reached out by phone, messages, social media etc on her birthday to no avail, no response but she will response to her brother (my son) her father & stepmother! That hurts the most. I raised my children by myself for over 20 with no coparenting from their father or anyone else- & im saying this only as a matter of fact. My children when they were teens through young adults used to say "I'm angry with dad", "he pays no attention to us or spend time with us" etc. Once I became disabled after back injury & back surgery & was forced to stop working, they immediately started alienating me, smearing my name & reputation to everyone in family including my ex husband, stepmother and ex in laws. None of them talk to me anymore because my children are telling people that im a lazy b**ch, there's nothing wrong with me, etc. My daughter git married right before Xmas & I never knew she was engaged until I received an invitation in the mail! Everyone else knew though... how about that. You would think she would've called me, her mother to tell me she just got engaged & share the good news with me but no. I was living with my narcissistic son for 2 years until 2 months ago. He just packed his bags & walked out the door & as usual, didn't have the common courtesy to tell me where he was going (for few years now it's been lying by omission & blatantly keeping secrets from me or using the same excuse "oh I thought you knew"). OK so this was in November right before my daughter's wedding. I didn't find out until 2 weeks later when I saw a post on social media from my daughter "oh, I had a great bridal shower" omg, I was livid to say the least, that was the last straw for me & knew it was time to break all contact from her! So what I'm trying to say is my son left fir the weekend, going home to our homestate where we are from, intentionally keeping it me, for my daughter's bridal shower!! Un believable that my own daughter intentionally did not invite her mom to her bridal shower & both of my children kept me from it!! I cried for days seriously. And then I found out that my daughter had gone to her stepmother from the beginning & telling everyone that she is "mother of the bride"! Her stepmother went beyond overstepping boundaries & proceeded to act as mother of the bride. My daughter, as you would expect, didn't acknowledge me, her mother or include me on any of wedding planning. And she calls her father (my ex husband) & her stepmother her "parents". Her parents are me & her father. Anyhow, as I stated before , I lived with my son for last 2 years. Nothing but abuse. Mentally, emotionally, verbally. He kept me isolatedi. His home, ignored me daily, would yell at me just trying to talk to him, was traumatized. I've been going through excruciating physical pain. Kept asking my son to bring me to hospital & he refused to take time off work or let me use his car, or provide Uber ride, or bring me after work or time off work. So I sat there in his home for 2 years barely ever seeing the outside, but I was expected to take care of my 6 yo grandson & clean his house etc all while being in pain & needing medical care. So I looked for a DV shelter to go to ended up in one other shelter just overnight. Sadly, an ambulance was called for me the very next morning. Ended up being admitted for kidney disease caused by numerous kidney stones. One was so large it was blocking my ureter creating chronic infection & then was told that my kidney needed to be removed! I have been on hospital & now rehab for 8 weeks now. Neither of my children have contacted me or come to see me. And point being, if my son took even a couple hours out of his precious life to bring me to hospital I may have been able to prevent having my right kidney removed. Can you imagine being treated this way? Has ir are anyone going through this? I keep crying, trying to understand why. I didn't raise my children like this. I'm also an Empath which as most people know, narcissists & Empaths are oil & water, any relationship with a narcissist is toxic. And BTW, my ex-husband & all ex inlaws are narcissistic as well. So they are sucking in & believing every smear that my children are dishing out to them. So sad. And I haven't spoken to any of them I'm years, none of them have reached out to me but they believe that they know more about what is going on with me than I do!

Remember when Susan Smith murdered her two boys in 1994 by rolling her van into a lake with them inside? At first, she claimed they were abducted, but when she went on TV saying this, she did the micro eye closures.

Does anyone have any videos or information on raising a non-narcissistic child or to see early signs? My son may be showing some signs, he’s only ten but is already very convincingly deceptive. Its starting to concern me and Im not sure what to do.

I tried to explain to a father about his son. He was doing all this and more to me, and he still is. His father got mad and said, “ oh he’s not doing anything”! no not out loud, but he sure is doing something.

This video was amazing!!! Thank u, Dr. C, as always, ur work is sooo appreciated! God bless u!

Dad thought he was a great communicator when I was 12 1/2. He was a dictator, instead!

I rediscovered this video today; and. it has helped with two current concerns: (1) it's reassuring that noticing non-verbal cues is not an abnormality and (2) it instructs on how to better sift through my in-laws.

I'm starting to suspect that there is a difference between having empathy and having a high emotional intelligence. Right now, I'm feeling a bit down about myself, wishing that I could have been more empathetic in certain situations (and thus more helpful) and, at the same time, knowing that I am generally very good at reading people and situations (sometimes too good). I once frightened a close friend by commenting on something she, apparently, thought I couldn't see. I didn't realize, it needed to be a secret. It was a minor thing really; but, she was really startled by it and pulled back a bit. At one time, I was able to mentally sum up a person pretty quickly. I'm not sure that's a good trait. I think I may be blocking it a bit now. I'm not sure I sum people up at all any more.

(The sad truth is that a major reason I initially allowed the relationship with my future husband to develop was because he was finally someone I couldn't immediately see through. I didn't know about covert narcissists, I guess they can fool some "therapists" too. Should they be able to recognize them by their opaqueness?)

Drop the mike. 🎉❤ So very accurate it's chilling