Are You Ruining Your Chances of Getting Back with Your Ex?

good video

Im going to sleep

Man, I love your videos

trying to get back with your ex is exhausting, starting to loose hope😞

What do you do If after the no contact and you call to have that quick talk about whatever she ends up telling you about how she's changed and got drunk with her friends and is making out with 3 girls? She tells you all about her and what she's doing and how she is failing her classes, then at the end when your saying bye she says we shouldn't talk anymore? Do I start no contact over again? Because she is a stubborn person naturally, I'm trying not to over think this... also the next day after the call I got a random follow on Instagram with no name and almost no followers or follows.. feels like it's her

11 months man, still stuck on her, why? mentally I'm done but emotionally I'm still attached. dating has been bad, and on the other hand her rebound has become the perfect relationship from what I see, I mean if she's happy then I shouldn't wish her bad but it does sucks because I haven't moved on and I really want to ,I'm so done with this crap.

What if you had multiple break ups and they moved on to a best friend who they have dated a couple of months and after 2 months no contact while he's been in jail he finally reached out to me by phone call to ask about his unborn son and also ask about me and how I'm doing? He has cut all contact with friends and family and let's only this gf visit but now he's reaching out to me ... and says he will call again in a couple of days to ask about the scan and see how il doing ?
What does this mean?
How should i react when he calls in a couple of days ?
I'm so confused. Please help
I'm 31 weeks pregnant and I've been doing active no contact for atleast 2 months now . Do I still have a chance or should I just accept it's game over ?

have gone maybe 2-3 weeks total with out some form of communication within the 2 months, but i have never technically done no contact. Him and I have been hanging out frequently, been intimate, go on dates, etc. Today he told me that he is very confused and needs time to himself. I'm very confused as to what to do at this point

Hi Clay,
Would appreciate some advice, been in long distance since january seing each other every 1-2 month for couple days. She was meant to move in with me in September. But three weeks ago after a week of demanding time and showing insecurities she pulled the plug. We been in contact daily(i initiate 90% time) but its not as fluid and the first week i brought up the subject relationship up and still do on ocasion. She has a situation where by the end of this month has to make a choice to leave the country or to come to me as a friend to test the waters for a month. Right now she says she does not feel like she use to and that she doesnt feel i have changed but does not know what she will do. Dont know what the best aproach would be, start implementing NC when she has to decide within the next couple weeks if she leaves the country. I have told her to come to my city for few weeks. My argument is come on holiday before you leave since we have been long distance and then it can be assesed better what to do and my real personality.
Any help appreciated

My ex broke up with me one month ago and is already in a new relationship. We were together for 2.5 years, lived together, etc. We continued talking after our breakup and things were looking good. Now he has a new girlfriend and I'm heartbroken. I want him back, but I just don't know how. I don't want to be rejected and I don't know when to exactly reach out.

My exe and i broke up after a 3 years relationship and he had a new girlfriend a week after. Now it have been a year and they are still together.The thing is,my ex can't leave me alone.If i stop talking to him for a month he tries to contact me and won't let go. Plus,he is really weird in the way he is interacting with me. He is really protective, he cares about me, he always want to know how i'm doing, he say he needs me in his life, he needs me as a friend. Also he can't control himself to show me how happy he is with his new girlfriend like if he want me to get jealous. He acts like he want's me back but is denying his desire to come back.After saying sweat things to me he always need to remind me that he likes me as a friend like if he needs reassure himself.Anyway,i don't understand why he is acting this way.I want him back,i can't forget him but i don't know if he wants it too.I don't know what to do.If somebody could help me just by saying what you think,it would be great.Thank you.

Hi coach, Me and my ex had an ugly terribly breakup in jan and we started talking again in March and had a relationship that had no commitment cause she doesn’t want any commitment but we cared about each other. We made a deal to have a clean cut in March because she’s having an exchange to Japan. But last month, she said I’m suffocating her again, stressing her out, making her mentally ill and she said she’s not treating me right or can’t give me what I want so then she made the decision to cut it off clean with me. She brought her friend to come grab her stuff from my place because she’s not comfortable with me alone. She didn’t even want me to celebrate her birthday with her. She doesn’t really reply my messages unless it’s about getting each other’s stuff back. Is there something I can do to get her back? Please help!

Dam i do a lot of this

Yeah but conversation should be two sided, if they stop responding.. and you reached out even if they didn’t reply doesn’t that come off as overly needy in their eyes? If it’s been two weeks and they haven’t said a thing, you reach out casually and no response.. reaching out again is overkill no?

Hey! My ex is seeing another guy and she seems very comfortable with him. Although I don't know whether they are dating or not. All I know is they are meeting up a lot in recent times and the fact that she is hiding this thing from me and she is not telling me anything. What I don't understand is even after having another guy in her life at least to an extent still whenever we see each other she ends up spending time with me and hugs me which she could easily avoid. According to her I don't know anything about that guy and I haven't even mentioned his name in our conversations. What should I do?

Hi Clay, I reeeeeeally need your help. It has been 6 months since we're seperated. And I was going better, untill he made some contact. Saying I was his first love and that I still mean a lot to him, to end up with 'but our relationship was over'. I found it difficult that, since our breakup, we had contact after a month, than a month nothing, and then a month ago he's still asking how I'm doing. That he misses my mom and wants to speak to her. But after the sweet things he's still convinced it was the best decision. We had a relationship for 8 years, from our 16 until 24. And still I'm not the same person. I still miss him sooo much! As I said: it went better. And I know hearing of him is a bad thing, but when I hear of him or see his name pupping on my phone, my heart skips a beat. He still wants to be able to talk to me, because he found this normal after 8 years. And he hopes some day I will be able to. Saying he still cares for me, wants to see and talk to me. I just don't know what it is. It's driving me crazy because what should I do?? I'm still holding on because of that..

After 6 months now I deciced to block him. On Facebook, on Instagram. And he 'understood' it. He found it a shame, but he understood the reason why. I'm just so confussed. I know we have to have a connection, but i'm affraid that when I do, he looks at me as a friend.

I wasn't reaching out for about 2 months, and then, al of a sudden, he contacted me trough Instagram asking about a furniture. I was short and distant, and after a short sentence, he went straight back at: "how are you doing?" "Are you seeing someone else?" 'I hope your next boyfriend will give you everything you want and need, because you deserve it". etc etc. What should I do? And why does he wants to stay in touch? Well, that's not possible anymore tough, now I've blocked him. Thanks in advance! And sorry for the long story :-) Greetings from Belgium!

I love your videos. Very insightful.

Lmao the keeping score thing is what I was just freaking Out about. We were having positive connections last week but we haven’t talked in 6 days. I thought it was a bad sign that he hasn’t reached out. I’ll talk to him tomorrow

No hope

My ex has asked me if there was a chance of us getting back together. My heart wanted to say yes! because I love him and care about him soo much, but I responded we will have to see...that we would have to start back at the beginning with dating and trying to rekindle things at a later time (I ended a 7 year relationship with him 4 months ago due to differences and not seeing change in his behavior and actions; we were also engaged) He says he's changed and he expressed all the things that he misses about me but he is now in a rebound situation and I don't feel he has given himself the time and energy to focus on himself and the changes he needed to make to inspire me to be with him again.ultimately what's keeping me away from making any moves with him:1. he's in a rebound situation still...which is not making me take him seriously (by the way he has complained to me about the stuff he doesn't like about her (*weird)2. I haven't personally seen the changes (elevation, goal oriented, disciplined and maturity)3. I don't feel inspired to get back with him he says things that make me hopeful but he's doing the oppositeLong post but this is my situation and my thoughts on this

I've already FUBARed the whole thing

I do panic everyday because I don’t hear from him. I think the worst. Yes I do want us back together but all the feelings I have I suppress them. I would rather he make the first attempt to contact me. Cause I contact him first most likely I would mess it up. Because I’m upset and hurt at this moment. I want to connect with him . But how do we know we’re ready to connect ? But do u believe it’s fair for the woman has to do all the changes ?

Like for example a man is suppose to do things for a woman . A woman shouldn’t have to tell a man to mow the yard and etc. I thought we suppose to make each other happy .Not just one person making the other happy. It goes both ways.Correct?

Clay, you are so wise, experienced and happily married! I am listening to YOU! :) Thanks for your words of wisdom!

he broke up,but keeps on reaching out again.....he's inconsistent coz when we come close again,he pulls back.....i told him i respect his decision,but above all we both deserve to be happy....

I’m still in damage control mode (day 12 of NC), but I feel it lessening everyday and that excites me. At first it feels like damage control will last forever. I’ve been meditating morning and night. Anytime I have a negative thought or feel a negative emotion I take a deep breath in and out.

Gilbert Gottfried?

Me and my volume control mode, but this is how loud you should be to ' sound' effective! Thank you 😊😊 for reminding me about connection as more important, i.e. no hidden agendas!

How do u build emotional connection?

I really hope I didn't ruined my chances.....I did some of this because of other videos and kind of pushes him even further......I hope I can amend

I try to focus on the connection but she acts hot and cold

How long after a break up should I reach out and focus on the connection ?

i really like you clay you are the best adviser you talk to the heart no lies 🙏

Playing too cool made her block me for the second time. She was coming back slowly, we were texting again but then I just messed up through messages and she blocked me once again.

To think my ex last months with me when I was super insecure... that’s pretty surprise

How can I focus on the emotional connection if she wants complete time and space?

It's hard to build an emotional connection if she won't talk to me.

Brilliant video and 😄 funny wise man thank you for sharing to have a happy family

How to get out of damage control mode

i did some of them after i broke up many times. i wish i knew all of this before but i made sure to make everything worse that way. then after years, he told me that he wants to be good friends with me, asked about my dating life and wanted to hang out. now he is warm and cold :/ we are talking 2-3 times a month

Soooo true! Love this! You can't imagine how much you're helping me right now

Need to tell you something.
I DON'T CARE IF I AM RUINING MY CHANCES
I AM MYSELF, IF YOU WANT ME FINE, IF NOT GO F*CK URSELF.

BRO I WANT TO SAY I fuck with you so tuff you've been right legit about everything.

Aaargh I need to get out of damage control mode it's been months I need some ambition

I told her she betrayed me like no one else has ever betrayed me. What are my chances?

Really great Clay. I appreciate that you always support authenticity.

Well said