These Rules are INSANE | Wedding Planner REACTS

First off, I dont wear black as my neutral, I wear Navy as my basic. Also I don’t have anything formal after covid (weight gain) so I would buy a dress to wear once.

But this list immediately reminded me of emails my last company would send to everyone and then when I would question the email the director would say the email didn’t pertain to me, and I would ask why it was sent to me then, and they would say we have to send it to everyone. I would then bring up we signed an employee handbook and our job requirements. This is an individual issue, not a passive aggressive poorly worded email to all. It is not good for moral.

Most of list was terrible. But I will say in the day and age of the internet, there are far too many stories where people have shown up to a wedding wearing white, or making a surprise pregnancy announcement during their speech, or doing whatever they want in terms of moving seats or bringing their own liquor. Some of her requests are patronizing, but common sense isn't as common as we once thought anymore. However, with that being said, I still don't think this was the appropriate way to do this........ Some items could have been included on a wedding website and there are graceful ways to have the DJ / MC make announcements to be mindful of the photographer and encourage everyone on the dance floor in a fun way without being rude to guests. I don't think I would be attending a wedding and giving a gift if I got a rude invitation like this.

Lol I love how one of the rules was "pace yourself with drinking" and another was "turn allllll the way up". Like, make up your mind girl! hahaha.

As a wedding photographer, I literally had a wedding last weekend where the DJ had to announce that guests go back to there assigned tables for dinner. The venue had a premade list of which meals went to which table and enough people had moved to another table that it delayed dinner.

Bonus: a lot of the guests took a seating place card which clearly had a sticker of what there meal was and after sitting down just threw them away. So again the DJ had to announce that everyone put there place card at there table.

@tsherrod7452 Besides the word "twerk", what other words are commonly used by the Black community / Black culture that are also used in this list? Based on your assumption that this is a black familys wedding, she isnt allowed to have an opinion? But she could have an opinion if it was a white familys wedding or an indian familys wedding or an asian familys wedding? She is a wedding planner. Part of her channel is to do videos on stuff related to weddings. Not to disengage in content because there is a presumption that the person who wrote the post "might" be a different skin color. I disagree in the theory of microaggression. If you want to personally feel attacked by something you are 100% allowed to feel that way. But in the same breath, wouldnt that be you making something a microagression against Jamie (the video creator) because your assumption is that she knows nothing about Black culture? You dont know if she has family members or friends that are Black. She made this video to break down a bridezilla, not to come across as a "microaggressive" white woman.

Me if I was at this wedding, wearing my blue dress, 3 margaritas deep, and asking the DJ to play something different "fuck you, I won't do what ya tell me!" 😅

But really. I wouldn't even go lol.

Just says, "Please refrain from brining any liquor to the reception as it goes against the rules outlined by the venue. This was outlined in our contact and violation could result in the reception being forced to conclude early."

"We are thrilled you will be there with us to celebrate our big day and when your time in the spotlight comes, we will be equally thrilled to be there for you. However, please refrain from making any major announcements that might distract from our special moment."

"Uncle Bob, please keep Aunt Babs limited to three drinks, to avoid another incident like the one which occurred at last year's 4th of July gathering. We would like to avoid the 911 calls."

Wth??? I signed up for the Master Plan just now and can't get to the home page on my laptop or phone. I'm in tears. I sent understand what I'm doing wrong. It says I'm signed in but nothing happens when I click Go to Home Page. I thought this was supposed to make my life easier. 😭

That passive-aggressive statement about music is a cliche.Of people who are frustrated that their guests want some slow dance songs.

I kinda get the one about getting in the photographer’s way. It makes me crazy when people are taking photos during the ceremony and they end up ruining an important shot that the paid photographer would’ve gotten. The rest of these sound like normal wedding anxieties that don’t really need to be said or could be said more kindly

VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION! We just booked our venue (finally) after a year of engagement, ready and excited to finally start planning…. And our date is 2 1/2 years away…. What and when do we do next! Is there anything I can get started planning to use our time well and stay excited while waiting a whole year for that slightly more appropriate 18 month mark?

I feel like the bride/groom are used to dealing with family that have very loud opinions and refuse to listen to common sense. But i don't think this should have been sent to everyone XD

Idk maybe I’m playing devils advocate but I feel like this person may have made these rules because they know their family members would act this way. Like it seems patronizing but I feel like this bride/groom felt the need to type these out because these members have DONE these things in the past…

If you need to make a list like this, maybe just elope given you cannot trust your guests to behave themselves.

Yeah some of these rules seem specific, like they're targeted at specific guests. 8 and 9 make it seem like OP has conservative or religious family members who will get on their case for having "profane" music. Some family members might even get upset with OP for playing that music even after the older/conservative guests have gone home ("it's still wrong even if no one was there to see it") 😅

If I got an insulting and infantilising list of rules like this, I just wouldn't show up. No explanation.

The uncle that complains the music too loud, the guest that shows up in pink, the friends that just want to sit and visit (probably THIER version of a good time), and the person that may voice their opinion to you (they won't, it will be to someone else at their table), ultimately has no power over your day unless you give them that power by sending out a bunch of rudely worded rules.This person needs to get off of TikTok and realize that the world doesn't revolve around you, and if others have fun, you will have fun on your wedding day.

Seems to me this must be tailor for a specific family or maybe a culture that is far more abrasive. Still could be worded much nicer or not at all!

"Hey, lets not get super drunk but also turn it all the way up and twerk your butts off." Totally not confusing at all. These people are probably of an adult age that has grown out of the wanting to twerk stage and probably need the liquid courage to act like they're 19 again.

This is hilarious! Is anyone going back to the friends episode with the 2 parties where Monica is making everyone having ‘organised fun’ ….

As a neurodivergent adult, AUDHD specifically, trust me…clear, cut, and straight to the point rules are the best way.

They could easily have a bunch of neurodivergent friends who don’t know anything about wedding etiquette who need to hear this list… the tone definitely could’ve been better, but the “don’t complain” social norm, to certain autistics, is not “common sense”. It’s 100% common sense to me as an AUDHDer but it’s not common to all neurodivergent/autistic people.

As a disabled person, I would say scratch the "don't sit down all night" rule...

At first I didn’t realize that this was all for one wedding. I thought it was a compilation of ones from different weddings. That’s absolutely wild

I kind of feel they know their family, they saw this happen on other weddings and are just to keep people aware of their tendencies...

I dont blame them for some of these rules. A lot of people are tacky and dumb and need to be told.

My husband told the bartender to dilute two people's drinks since they're alcoholics, more as a precaution. We had no problem with them or anyone else. But also if you're this worried about people at your wedding maybe you're too immature to have a wedding and be married, and your guests are too immature.

Other than the rule about not sitting all day and what colors to wear, I agree with the rules. They could have been said in a different tone to be "nicer" but some of us come from families where people don't know how to act in public and need to be told these things.

Honestly... is it odd that id want to go to their wedding willingly just so i can be nosy and watch what happens lol

I wouldn't feel patronized. I would take it as a head's up that one of the guests has Main Character Syndrome. 😂

doesn't hurt to restate the drinking--it can't be overstated

If I need to have this conversation in the first place, I’m not inviting them.

While i agree the rules were a mix of definitely aggressive and passive-aggressive; I feel like drawing from your own experience as a wedding planner is interesting but also not all that helpful.

I think the Venn diagram of "weddings that need these rules', and 'weddings that have a wedding planner' dont even touch - or the crossover is minimal.

Re: guests won't rearrange the chairs. You don't know my family. They are going to sit where they think they should sit. (I'm not going to try to boss my Aunts about who they sit with.) That is another reason to not make that rule. (West Point trains officers to never give orders that they know will be disobeyed.)

I couldn't even make it to #7 before this. This is my mother's side of the family. This isn't patronizing to the literal passive aggressive fools that have shown up to past weddings in PJs; criticized the décor, dress, etc.; or purposely didn't parent while children are said children are throwing tantrums to ruin other guests' experiences. I've only been to eight weddings because of this behavior. This post needs a fifth of Grace.

Apart from the dresscode, which should be clearly communicated, yes, I would never attend a wedding that sets out silly rules like this one. Never! Controlling and narcissistic behaviour of the bride/the couple.

My mom did actually at our wedding come up to us and asked us to do a specific thing that we hadn't planned on - when I told her we did not plan on doing that she said we really should reconsider and I, being somewhat taken aback, said I'd talk to my husband to get his opinion because my opinion on the subject wasn't all that strong; his was a firm no. Still, my mother came up to us twice more to ask us to do it and even said she expected there were people who would be disappointed if we didn't.
My mom is usually so sweet and lovely so I had not seen this coming at all; the rule about no unsolicited advice might not be that wrong after all. It was super stressful for me and it still makes me wonder till this day if we did in fact disappoint people and that's just sad to consider for your weddingday😢

Yeah, I would not be going to this wedding

I wished they'd run this list through at least Grammarly

I hate hashtags for weddings.

Those are beautiful earrings

So the convo around rule 8 (about the music). My older sister did that. At 9 pm (for a wedding that ended at midnight) the music switched from family friendly to not so much. A few people left and I was one of them (I was 25). BUT we talked about it before hand and it was actually the perfect plan. Her and her groom had 3 boys between them and my brother had two kids. I have anxiety and don't like "rougher" music. SO I left with the 5 kids and a pre-teen cousin and didn't want to stay even though he could have. I took them all to their apartment where we had a massive sleepover while they spent their wedding night in a hotel room. Is was great :)

I think it's a great idea to have the music split like that and as long as it's worded nicely to guest, no one should be upset.

If I got a list like this, I would go to watch the fights. (I hope they serve pop corn!)

As someone with a family that can be a nightmare at times I totally get the rules.

I understand the need to word things in a more "appropriate" way, but sometimes, things need to be said in a really nasty way for boundaries and rules to be respected. I'm speaking from experience. I have a "step-daughter", in quotations because I'm having kids with her father, but we're not married. She is a very entitled, lazy, disrepectful, rude all-most adult' she is slowly getting better but still has a lot of work to do. When I was pregnant with my first, she kept poking her nose into my pregnancy, asking to see my bump, when I was due etc. She asked her father multiple times when I was due, he wouldn't tell her, but he also wouldn't shut her down, so I took it upon myself to deal with it. I messaged her, very polite message. No swearing, I said please at the end, didn't call her any names of any sort. And she went off her HEAD at me. So I returned the same attitude, gave her a few home truths and I haven't heard a peep out of her since, and she hasn't stepped out of line since. She knows I'm not afraid to pull her into line. Sometimes it gets to a point where people aren't being pulled into line by the appropriate people, and the person who the entitled attitude is directed at gets to a point and blows up because their rules and boundaries aren't be respected. Sometimes rudeness and being forthright is the only way to have your rules and boundaries respected.

I feel like with the first one the wording could have been different but whoever sent those invitations have an interesting bunch of people who they're inviting. Like yeah to a lot of people these sound like no-brainers but I know plenty of people in which their family do need to be told these things and borderline threatened to comply. There's also a chance that this is the interpretation version of an actual invitation instead of what was on the legit invitation. But no I know plenty of people with families in which have said families were invited to their wedding this would be their exact invitation rules maybe not written as rudely but the same nonetheless