The 4 Relationship Attachment Styles You Need to Know

I am 58 years old. I realised only now that my dad was n narc. My brother is a narc. My first husband was. My boyfriend was. My fiance was scisofrenic. My second husband is a narc.
Now.... I need to explore and need to learn to love myself.
So sad that I mised such a large part of my life.

I think secure attachment is less common than people think, while fearful avoidant is more common than people think.

I was so confused that the male host's voice was playing over Dr. Judy's mouth moving for the whole intro, haha. I mean, I figured it out... eventually. *I'm not the quickest*

I was looking for no recoil grau and found this

🙏🏻

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After years & years of unresolved issues/childhood trauma & yet another failed relationship, I finally put myself into therapy ;specifically trauma & cognitive behavioral therapy), where I am learning about things such as attached issues... I have Fearful-Avoidant Attachment issues. I was adopted when I was 3, so that fear of abandonment was sown very early in life & I avoid getting close to anyone because I don’t like to depend on anyone....I desire closeness, yet it requires vulnerability & trust in another person to have good intentions, but because of these attachment issues, it usually attracts the kinds of people who are not always the best fit.

I can’t find the other videos in the series?

I am fearful avoidment 😩😩😩

Where are the rest of the videos on this series?

She looks like older brenda song

I can’t help noticing her hair! really like her hair style! I spent $96 for my hair last time and I hate it!!

This has been so helpful for me as I continue to make changes and adjustments. I had to become educated on my attachment style and the traits that come with it. Reflecting back on examples where I have displayed those traits and how they have prevented me from progressing further. I would also recommend to look back and reflect on the platonic relationships that you had in school with friends because I have also found that to be very revealing.

There are really only 2 attatchment style
...
The Need to be taken care of
&
The Need to take care of some-one

Just read an interesting paper indicating reduced visual cortex grey matter volume in children and adolescents with reactive attachment disorder. I had no idea that visual cortex grey matter volumes were associated with visual emotional regulation impairments in reactive attachment disorder (Shimada et al. 2015).

Doesn't describe the style until 5mins in.

It could be possible that in the 60s and 70s more people were having secure attachment styles as opposed to now, and perhaps Ainsworth was not wrong

This interviewer no wonder mocked the AP he dated..The kind of muck he is as A dismissive avoidance is evident!

Thank you so much 🙏

Attachment Theory is too fixated on mothers

When I've done test after testing consistently come out as 33% secure, 33 avoidant and 33 fearful. I put this down to the different 'caregivers ' in my life who were predominant growing up between 1 and 7 yrs. E made me feel great another scared me to death and the other was totally emotionally neglectful. So if im around people I get that gutt feeling as to whether I'm comfy on edge or they're doing my head in. I don't think it's just attachment UNLESS you fall into a cluster pattern eg. Cluster b. It's also how that other person ... how you feel around them. If you feel a red flag walk away. This has been a long hard 60 yr lesson 🙋🙋

I would really love to see videos linked more into each of these topics i believe im the anxious one or the last one.

Mrs. Judy is perfect. So intelligent. Huge crush on her lol

I am certainly noticing that the attachment style of each partner can have a dramatic effect on the dynamics of relationships. eg if insecure meets insecure it leads to constant break up and make up. If insecure meets secure the secure person sees the insecure as needy and jealous and may not be able to handle that or it leads to a co-dependent relationship with the secure person holding all the power. I am sure it will be possible to create a matrix showing the outcomes of each combination of the different attachment styles. Secondly, attachment styles can be affected by events, particularly traumatic ones, right into late teens. Eg loss of parent through separation, divorce or death in teen years. Another one is the failure to treat a child with High Functioning Autism correctly (by failing to recognise it in the first place) and trying to force 'normal' behaviours, is a form of abuse, as is spoiling a child. It is a fascinating sub-set of personality traits.

there’s something so off about the host

gosh i wish Judy was on more podcasts with Domenick, y'all know how to present the information at hand in a proper intellectual ways..
ps * post editing pics/gifs/animated comics comedy or visuals are great to help the learner

This is very helpful material, but the making light of people with the anxious attachment style is unprofessional and hurtful.

5 minutes of nothin

She’s hot. I’m getting attached to her just watching this.

Her toe lol

Can You tell me please which therapy is the best for a person with attachment issues?

How can I find the rest of the series?

Judy Ho! Love her

Sheeeeshh... this was excellent 👏

disorganised attachment style from parents. have extreme DID due to extreme raped and raped from twin brother and older brother as well as others . brutal hm daily environment and life but yet am NORMAL host and have SAFE n secure attachment styles with hubby (22 yrs married and 2 kids).

I got safe n secure attachments from teachers at school where I excelled and studied psychology and sociology at university and finished.

it is POSSIBLE to make the best out of shit situation and to know what's right and wrong and follow ur heart.

hi. i have no one to talk to exept you. iam maria . i am in russia now. just wanted to share something. thank you for the opportunity. i guess i have some problems. my sister. my ex. and something about my mom. just wanted to leave it here. i love my ex. i hate my sister. and my mom passed but i miss her. thank you so much for listening. i am lonely.its okay. i just need to go through it. thank you for everything. have a nice day. love. m.

This doc is hot too

Very good

According to a test I did, Im very avoidant and a mixture of fearful avoidant and dismissive avoidant. I feel like its a curse. Im in my 40s and am only just learning about this. I feel like I should just give up and accept Im cursed.

It depends on the person you are with too, I think. If you don't completely love someone the way they should be loved but you know you need them, etc.

I have fearful attachment style it has caused many issues within my life. I have been working on my BPD anger stress and anxiety for years. I have hit a massive wall within my therapy this past month after my adoptive mother passed away Nov. 5th 2022. I thought I would have time to talk with her about how her actions/words directly affected me my entire childhood and my adult life. Between her years of denial and then dementia set in I was unable to receive closure. I dated people just like my mother never seeing the pattern I was in until BPD therapy. Now I have an amazing man whom loves me as I am knowing I work on my faults daily and I have no clue how to receive the positive inputs the love caring and understanding. It's like being in a foreign country not knowing how to communicate. It breaks my heart.

She looks gorgeous 🥰😊

I am fine until I fall in love and that's when everything goes to shit . It takes me awhile to start falling in love, and it happens more rapidly the more I see them and observe them, and one day boom the rose color glasses pop on and my heart melts for them more and more . Then that's when I start self-sabotaging the relationship, gaslighting, guilt-trip cause they have to go home for the dogs and kids, go from being a jerk to the most loving person . I just lost someone because she too was an AP and she ended up monkey branching me . Groomed another person and left me and 2 weeks later is in a relationship with him .
That's why I am here cause I need to change or I will continue to lose people .

I ran across this after a breakup a few years ago. Helped me realize my style as well as hers. It's been such a huge help going forward, feels like I was blind before.

Dr Ho lol

Interesting - thank you. We have a channel that discusses Psychology and Attachment Theory etc. Any support is appreciated.

My original attachment style was dismissive-leaning fearful avoidant. After healing my insecure attachment style, I got my certifications and now help others do the same❤

What's your attachment style?