My 17-Year-Old Wants to Get Married Next Year (Help!)

If they are going to marry because they want to have sex...big mistake.
But if they are swt to marry no matter what, then they are signing ip for what marriage means and thats independence.
They meed to work , they need to afford their own housi g and they meed to pay for college if they want to go.
And if they do fo to collwge and end up at different colleges, chamces are they wont be married for too long.
But after of course a child will be in themix.
Good luck

Most of my friends that got married were married by age 21. AFAIK they're all still married a decade+ later.

Sister married after Highschool then baby , he cheated divorced!
Cousin married at 20 baby he turned drunk divorced! Niece married at 21 baby he cheated left for back together another baby cheated left back together !
He continues to use her as a place to go when needed.

Wish they would wait till they grow out the real world to make more sound decisions

Sister married after Highschool then baby , he cheated divorced!
Cousin married at 20 baby he turned drunk divorced! Niece married at 21 baby he cheated left for back together another baby cheated left back together !
He continues to use her as a place to go when needed.

Wish they would wait till they grow out the real world to make more sound decisions

John is correct!
I would say you do college after that get full time job then I will pay for a wedding.

I love that he was afraid of manipulating his daughter and wanting to love his future son in law. I got married after a month of being 20 and it was the best decision of my life, my advice is if you know that this person is your best friend and your going to spend the rest of your life with them then why wait

I married at 18, my husband was 23. We have been married for almost 50 years. We never had any financial help from anyone. These kids want to get married? Pay your own bills! Their chance of success is less than 5%. They are not being realistic at all.

If they are old enough to get married they are old enough to be on their own without help.

I wouldn’t pay for a wedding. If they really want to get married then go to the courthouse

She’s probably all wrapped up in that purity stuff and guilt and of course wants to have a dream wedding. The caller actually just called asking about his share of a wedding….this girl is entitled and spoiled . Very loved, clueless tho

Need to get jobs minimum to pay for the wedding.

Child free here, he sounds like he's aggressively aging from stress while talking about it 🤣

It's strange that you would support your children in college if they went to school and drank and hooked up before marriage, but you punish them if they decide to get married.I would be more worried about teenage kids who just want to go to college and party and hook up than the ones who want to get married.

I got married at 18. We're still married 27 years later. We've had our ups and downs and we are both different people than we were back then, but we've made it work. We did not have a big wedding from choice.

I want to know how this turned out!

18 is too young to be married.

I've been on the receiving end of this situation. I wanted to get married at 19/20. We have been married for 6 years now together 9. I agree with this with some critique. 1) understand their reasoning. If they have a genuine calling to honor God, the statistics say they are significantly less likely to get divorced. 2) school is not the most important thing, learning is. I would not equivocate school with learning. 3) any promises that you made before they decided to get married should stand. If you bought them a car, it should be paid off by you. (Shouldn't have financed in the first place) If you promised to pay for college, that's on you. Marriage should not change prior promises. Any other or new expenses like paying for the wedding, house, rent, etc. is up to you what you want to do. Its your money.

I have watched several episodes of this show. I appreciate so much the answers, but the questions from the callers often sound really wierd to me. I’m Italian, the American culture is sooo different. We have the Pope in out country, but nobody is really interested in religion and nobody defines himself as “christian”. And nobody wants to marry at 18 years old!! And verginity is something nobody cares about.

Me and my wife started dating at 16. When I joined the military, I waited a year we got married at 19 and 20

In my mind, parents should help their children get thru college so that they can be financially and emotionally self sufficient. Chronological age isn't necessarily maturity or good judgment. Teach them early in life to budget, save and invest towards their retirement vs overspending and relying on credit cards.
They will make their own choices or mistakes and learn from them. Don't solve their financial problems for them.

If you see that your loved one has been isolated in order to be controlled by their partner, has bruises or seems to be depressed, let them know that you're there for them to leave when they've had enough.

Her parents need to prioritize their daughter's development, growth and indepence over her immediate wants and dreams.
Their daughter needs a college education even if she plans to be a SAHM. Her parents can help pay for a small wedding affair. A ceremony at home with hors d'oeuvres and sparkling wine. I've attended two of these for the daughters of a family who could have afforded much more. They set expectations for their daughters, paid for their educations and had long and happy marriages.

A big church wedding in a pricey gown with a big catered reception is no guarantee of a successful marriage.

i guess it’s the way they look at it and they way the parents and the boyfriend and girlfriend see it. you see i’m 19 and i got married 1 year ago when i was 18 and my wife was 19. she’s now 20 and im 19. but at the time. i had already bought a house i had already gone to trade school and i was already working a full time job and making good money and having a great career and having a car. so i guess it’s possible but you have to work for it. i worked very hard. i graduated high school at 16 years old and i’ve been working since 12 so that’s what got me the head start and being out into the world at such a young age made me mature faster. i see it’s not about the age it’s more of the maturity. if the boyfriend has the drive to be someone and to take care of her and has good intentions then why not. i knew i loved my wife and i wanted to be with her. i was already doing grown up things and i felt i was ready and we both were. so we did it. yea other people didn’t agree but we didn’t care it was us paying for everything and doing it ourselves so at the end of the day it was our decision. My wife had a job and making her own money and still doing college i was making most of the money and we cut the expenses we both worked as a team. i’m making very good money and she’s making good money but once college is done she’ll be good. so i guess it’s just between the couple if they support each other and are there for each other. just sharing my experience

I’m not against people getting married right after high school as there’s many people who have done that and some have been successful. I’ve known a few people who have done that and been married since then. As for parents it’s understandable why they would worry and I can get behind that.

Here’s the problem: can they live without their parents? This can depend and vary between everyone cus that means no help from the parents at all or some people may say the parents can let them stay in their home as long as they’re working. Cus when ur married IMO u should be taking care of yourselves as best as possible. If the parents want to support them then that’s fine. At the same time I feel like there has to be some conditions cus I don’t think parents should be helping them 100% cus that’s messed up.

Im glad I didnt marry my hs boyfriend who proposed to me. And Im glad I didnt marry my college bf that I was engaged to. Our frontal lobes dont fully develop until 25. Marriage before 25 is super risky. I met my husband when I turned 30. If I got married before I met him, I would have been misrable.

Excellent,wise, balanced information for the future of his daughter and future son-in-law.❤️

What could go wrong?

Isn’t this what the whole Ramsey thing is about though? “Y’all are roommates“ so get married why is this such an issue if some people are getting married so young? As a man, I don’t think any man should get married until they’re in their 30s but that doesn’t take away from the fact that Ramsey always talks about getting married immediately right away

Sounds like they just want to have sex, no actual idea on how to make adult life happen successfully just pure impulse. The parents should let them be adults and see how they like it.

If these two kids are insisting on getting married and demanding help, then what happens when she gets pregnant and demands the parents help support and raise the child. How about health insurance? I wonder if their religion demands they wait to be intimate until marriage. Lots of issues here. Excellent advice from Dr. John.

My kids were not allowed to date until 18. And, if they had a job to pay me expenses and date. That stopped all that dead in their tracks. My son is getting married now at 27 after he graduated with his Masters, the other will graduate in 2025 get a job and dates. So...to all of you this might help you before you let them date and have this situation. Both my boys thank me for that and will continue with that for their children. They both have said they are different men today and would have made some real bad mistakes had anything been different. The same would go for girls, then they can see what things cost to live.

If you get married, you pay the bills. Parents are out of it

Tell her me and mom discussed this years ago we’re cutting you off financially after your married and we didn’t budget to pay for a wedding till you were 25. So you can get married but it’s all on you.

What insanity to get married at 18. And to make that decision at 17. They are children. I do hope these kids repented of their decision and made the sensible decision to break up before college. They have too much life to experience before tying themselves down. Everything in your life changes between 17 and 21. And you're still barely an adult when you graduate from college.

I wish I got married young. I'm almost 40 never married or been on a date.

Oh this is a good example of a lovely home and Loving parents... Thanks Dr. Delony

Johns first idea of cutting the girl from her fiance was most DEFINITELY the wrong advice. I was engaged a month after 16 and married at 17. If my parents had done that to ke they would have been cut off after i married. My husband has supported ke in every way and we have been married over 20 years. Just because she is young doesn't mean shes dumb.

That's good news and it's good marriage age

What a BS hypocritical world these kids grow up in. So many “Christian” “pro-life” conservative parents raise their children to wait to have sex until marriage but also say they have to wait to have a marriage until they’re grown up & done with college… and then wait to have kids until you own a home & have full financial security…. You set them up to lie and feel fearful of normal natural things. I’ve been legally married since I was 21 but spiritually married at 19/meaning I was VERY clear with him that I believe biblical marriage happens at the time two humans get naked together (and do married stuff)… We grew up together and became adults together. My parents paid for my VERY SMALL wedding probably around $5,000 at the time (1998) for renting out the patio at a beautiful mountain top restaurant, at sunset, no food or refreshments at all just let us be there for an hour…. And a modest off the rack dress, no decorations, no hair & makeup or entertainment at all. They paid for dinner for a bunch of us at Outback Steakhouse and got us a hotel room at a fancy resort… It was as perfect as I could have asked for. We got engaged only like 8 days before the wedding BTW. I had always wanted to get married on 11/11 (November 11th) so it was either get married in 8 days or wait another year…. Unfortunately I was too young to realize that was Memorial Day, and so I was set on just going to the justice of the peace to have the whole thing handled in the courthouse, when I discovered about 4or 5 days before the 11’th that the courts would be closed that day, I was freaked out. I had no problem doing a casual courthouse marriage but if I had to have a ceremony somewhere else then I wanted to do something slightly traditional & romantic I guess… anyways my point is that marriage shouldn’t be looked at as dangerous or something to wait to do. Teach them that it’s beautiful and it’s not something they should fear failing at. Teach them there is no divorce… bcuz there really isn’t. If you give yourself to someone whole heartedly and promise to be there for them and with them forever no matter what, then you split up 10 years later or 2 years later, you’re still bound to that person for the rest of your life wether you know it or not. They may leave but they for ever effect you and carry parts of your spirit with them. It’s best understood as a religious concept where two become one and remain that way til death do they part… but scientifically it happens thru chemical releases and neurological pathways, imprinting etc.. And I even suspect some genetic material that is exchanged stays in the other persons body… that’s a tangent I’ll skip for now, but marriage/sex is not as simple as most people think it is. Stop telling teenagers to wait to have sex until marriage but then wait to get married until you’re 26! Also shame them for porn addiction… So many young people end up sneaking around having sex shamefully, feeling guilty (which makes their ability to stay together even less likely) and they’re not gonna ask for birth control or want to risk getting caught having condoms or foams etc. so they get pregnant and then have abortions to make sure their parents don’t find out. They’d rather do all that then have their parents embarrassed or look down on them… then they break up under all the stress. It’s stupid. Celebrate young marriages and parenthood, support them and strengthen them… Our oldest daughter got married at 18 and just had our 4th grandchild. Ten years in and they’re happy… as happy as humans are these days. I’m proud of them and their family. Blah blah blah parents need to be less fearful and more faithful.

Great episode.

That is toooooo funny! "My daughter wants to get married at 18 and i wonder how much i should chip in for the wedding"
Which country in the developing world is this question from??

You got a 100% track scholarship? ok.

What I would have given to have a father like this. Great job Dad. This was one of my favorite calls.

I got into my relationship at 17. My parent’s divorced my senior year and both did not set up a college fund for me so I knew I had no help. 5 years later and I still do not want to get married until I graduate college. I made that very clear from the beginning. School and my career are far more important to me right now than marriage so my partner and I agreed to wait. Although my family doesn’t like the fact that we live together, we’ve learned so much about ourselves, each other and what we want our future to look like. He works full-time and pays for a lot that I’m not able to cover and I’m so grateful. It is very hard not having financial help from my parents but it was my decision to go to University and I have never asked them for help. I work two jobs and am a full time student and one of those jobs is in my career field! I’m also in the middle of an internship. It’s hard but I have a packed portfolio and tons of experience and I’m only a Junior and I have an amazing supportive future husband by my side. I was very lucky that we were on the same page from the beginning and were mature enough to do this. A lot of couples are not

Our brain stop growing at 24 yrs old, in the teen yrs your personality is still forming, what you love at 18, you will wonder why you did by the time you are 28.

My daughters boyfriend was trying to convince her to marry him at 18 to, she started college at 16 and lost interest in him by that time. Thank God we talk her out of marrying a young man with the disease of sickle cell, who lives in a hospital.

American marriage works 40% of the time, now add on teen yrs to that.

You don't want your kids to turn around yrs later and blame you, as a parent that didn't protect her. From herself, and immature decision making from a brain not fully grown.

Not even agreeing untill 24 yrs when the brain stop growing for them both.

The answer is simple. Say yes, but make it clear that married people pay their bills and they will not receive help from you. You don't need to say it mean. Just matter of fact.

Amd honestly even the fact that they are expecting them to take care of the wedding is kinda crazy in today's culture. None of my siblings have ever asked our parents to pay for our wedding...

Financial support ends once you get married.