Don't Stand O'er My Grave: Mark Lemaire & Michael Manring

When I came upon the poem “Immortality”, it brought tears to my eyes. The poem, usually known by its first line, ““Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep”, has become very well known since it first appeared in a little known poetry journal in 1934.

I set the poem to music, but then I was not sure I could legally use it. I wound up searching the web to learn more about the poem’s history, and who, if anyone, owns the rights.

“Do Not Stand…” has been attributed to many sources, including (erroneously) Hopi and Navajo tribes. A woman named Clare Harner published a version in the poetry journal “The Gypsy” in Kansas in 1934, shortly after the sudden death of her brother. The most notable other claimant was Mary Elizabeth Frye (1905–2004), who often handed out xeroxed copies of the poem with her name attached. In her obituary, she asserted that her authorship was "undisputed" and confirmed by Dear Abby: but the Dear Abby folks said they knew nothing about it. Nevertheless, the poem is commonly credited to her with no proof of authorship.

You’ll easily find websites where LOTS of folks have adapted it and rewritten it, often for Christian funerals. No one agrees who wrote the original, and many folks have used their own versions of it without attribution. At this point, it is firmly in the public domain.

By the way: not all poems sound good as songs, and many great songs read terribly as poetry-- try reciting “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” as Shakespeare sometime! “Don’t Stand…” just happens to sing well with just a few little changes, but it is, for purposes of my composition, too short. So, in keeping with the long tradition of rewriting the poem, I added a new verse to fill it out. I also changed a few inconsequential words here and there to help it sing well. I’m including the ‘original’, as published in 1934, with my version below.

(captured live in February, 2025 in Tiberon, CA)

Don’t Stand O’er My Grave ©2023 Mark Lemaire

Don’t stand o’er my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am the thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glint on snow
I am sunlight on fields of grain
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you journey at night alone
I am the star that guides you home
I am the coat that keeps you warm
Holds you in the rising storm
I am the fire that warms your room
I am the hands enfolding you.

When you wake in early morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of rising birds in circled flight.
I am the stars that shine at night.
Don’t stand o’er my grave and cry;
I am not there. I do not die.

Do not stand by my grave, and weep.
— as published by Clare Harner December 1934

Do not stand
By my grave, and weep.
I am not there,
I do not sleep—
I am the thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints in snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle, autumn rain.

As you awake with morning’s hush,
I am the swift, up-flinging rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight,
I am the day transcending night.
Do not stand
By my grave, and cry—
I am not there,
I did not die.

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