Why Jennette McCurdy's 'I'm Glad My Mom Died' has no trigger warning

I’ve had to take breaks from reading her book. I’ve struggled with some of the stuff she writes about, and I’ve had to even skip some of it unfortunately. It’s still an important and brilliant book, and I agree with her stance completely. If you know you can’t read or watch certain things, it’s very much on you to find out if that’s going to be in there.

I kinda disagree, facing your triggers is important but exposure therapy is supposed to be done in a safe and controlled environment(usually with a professional by your side to teach you to sit with things) to retrain and calm down your nervous system and where you know what is coming, otherwise it can make things worse and retraumatize you. You dont just expose yourself to graphic information about your trauma, in fact ruminating on the past event aka constantly exposing yourself to it is often part of the trauma response and it doesn't make things better. Exposure therapy on the other hand is more like e.g. if someone is deathly afraid of elevators the first steps would involve thinking about one or watching other people use it from a distance and getting your nervous system to calm down and realize it's safe, then maybe you enter one and get out right away, etc., small steps. You dont take a long elevator ride if that's your fear or trigger as it can worsen the trigger response. It's kinda like stretching, to become flexible you cant just force yourself past a point as that will not just injure you but it will also make you LESS flexible because your body realizes you're not working in a safe range and contracts the muscle to protect you, you should challenge yourself but not too much and over time your body will learn that it's safe in that range of motion. Yes, life doesnt have trigger warnings but at the same time you dont wanna have your day ruined because you're sent into a flashback spiral because of a trigger if you can help it, i feel like thats what trigger warnings are for perhaps? So someone can decide or prepare themselves. Those days when something does come at you unprepared and sends you into a spiral are hardly healing.

sucks but its true

This is how people get through PTSD, it re-wires the paths in your brain to realize you are safe during exposure therapy and/or during events that are normally triggering over time

scream this from the top of the mountains

so wise

Trigger warnings seem to be for lazy people who don't read the introductions, brief summaries, rating, e.t.c. You can figure out if books, games, t.v. shows, and movies are triggering to you before trigger warnings become popular.

Honestly exposure therapy is the only way for anxiety. Avoiding things and babying the anxiety makes it stronger. Make an effort to expose yourself but know your limits and when you're up for it.

I don't know... Why not just include the warnings AND the encouragement to readers to read on if they were able? Share these values in the book itself and empower readers to make the right choice for them in the moment. I've read the book and I personally enjoyed it, but she really comes off here like, "It worked for me (under professional guidance), so everyone should do it (regardless of circumstance)."

For me, I had to realize those things were triggers and that my responses were not normal. Then learn how to have a normal reaction to it.

she's so bright and has really done the work. one thing i realized with my own triggers is that they can be basically anything. it could be innocuous like the way a song sounds or the way a certain fabric feels, yet it reminds me of my rapist. i couldnt expect everyone to label everything so that i can avoid confronting that discomfort. avoidance is not the solution; you only further surpress that trauma.

As a person with OCD, exposure therapy is literally the only thing that helps (and for me personally, medication as well) me function. It just sucked being in CBT for 10 years before my diagnosis and realizing it was doing absolutely nothing to help me 😐

Trigger warning gives people a choice though

Since when did a warning mean you can't read a book? Isn't it why it's a warning? It's not like an R raiting or something.

I neeed to read this book

LOUDER FOR THOSE IN THE BACK

I do get this and you are correct but I think trigger warnings shouldn’t be about avoiding a trigger completely but preparing people to tackle the trigger at their own consented knowledge instead of blindly stumbling into it.

She did this as a part of her therapy under professional care, why would you want to do exposure therapy on your readers? Trigger warning it's just a nice thing to do for people it's not about avoidance it's about consent.

She’s misunderstood exposure therapy and has essentially done the opposite of what she wanted to occur. It’s really important with exposure therapy to expose yourself to your triggers ON PURPOSE and frequently. If you don’t put the trigger warning in then the person reading isn’t exposing themselves on purpose, it’s by accident. And when it’s by accident it can create some success but it can also mean that there was no follow up plan for the ramifications of being exposed, and that the person will now avoid more things in life because they were unprepared and unable to get used to the trigger. Lastly exposure therapy has a ladder of comfort, you want to put yourself in an uncomfortable position but not one that brings on a panic attack, meltdown, or symptoms that are hard to treat. Not allowing someone to make those choices isn’t exposure therapy. It’s not her responsibility, but it’s also not helping anyone like she thinks she is.

the whole point of trigger warnings is so you can decide whether you'd like to engage with something triggering in the moment so you can either protect yourself or face it when you're able because you know what's coming. unfortunately it's been bastardized to mean that you can always run away from something uncomfortable...

This is true but also, not quite as nuanced as necessary. For some people, like myself, certain triggers lead directly to self harm, panic attacks, or suicidal behaviors. You still have to learn to face those triggers over time but you should not be thrown into the deep end. You have to build up to those things. For me trigger warnings aren’t used to avoid flashbacks or ruined moods but to avoid spiraling into overwhelming suicidal landmines/mental breakdowns. In my experience a lot of people have forgotten that while everyone has triggers and many of them cause more than just discomfort, the real reason trigger warning exists are for people like me who become physically unwell. Being triggered doesn’t just just mean a bad day but could mean hospitalization, calling off work because you’re too emotionally distraught to act normal, and if you don’t have people close to help you could end up not eating for days, not sleeping, falling into unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse or self harm. You do have to face those triggers eventually, it’s the only way to recover, but you absolutely should not be pushed to face them before you have the support and mental tools to fall on. I have recovered a lot and many of the things that used to trigger me just twinge now. But before I became a complete mess no matter how strong and brave I tried to be. My mind and body weren’t used to those triggers not meaning actual abuse and suffering and were trying to prepare me for the worst. Insensitive people or those trying to get a shock from their audience actually just forced me into a week of exhausting mental work I couldn’t afford.

There was also a study on trigger warning and their effects and how they're not as positive as people pretend.

I think the title is warning enough, it's not like you can't imagine what the book's about

I don't know if I agree with the logic here, she faced her triggers with informed consents and the support of a therapist

“Essentially, life is a trigger” - NEEDED to be said!

I think if you’re a person who struggles with triggers it’s really important to research online what triggers appear in the movie or book you’re about to consume. Or maybe put it on a list and talk to a close, trusted friend/family member after they’ve seen or read it about what triggers it contains.

In all fairness, you do have to start this process in a controlled setting under supervision by a mental health professional. Like yes, however, if you deal with any kind of mental illness, rawdogging the triggers with no support will just make you feel bad with no solution

This should be told TO EVERYONE!! Especially the Gen Z babies

Wise words indeed. Our "trigger warning" culture is so unhealthy. I understand wanting to avoid certain things at certain times, when you're particularly vulnerable, though.

Imagine getting to opt into a certain treatment and then forcing that method on everyone else lmao

Trigger warnings arent about avoiding the thing, its about knowing the thing is going to be talked about. Exposure therapy is wonderful *if you are in the right headspace for it*. If not, its actively distructive. That being said, it doesn't have to be "trigger warning: disorded eating". The title of the book is a form of warning. Any chapter titles could be forms of warning. There are many ways to help people make decisions for themselves.

Um meh…… I went to therapy so now I feel qualified to implement therapeutic techniques on others?

I feel like an better (and more genuine) answer would be “the title of my book is trigger warning enough”

She's so beautiful and well spoken ❤ so happy for her with how far she has come and what she's been able to do with her hardships

Triggers are so unpredictable too. One unrelated thing can be suddenly related and “pull the trigger”. Brains can make crazy connections that lead to it.

Well said all around

why the hell would you buy a book and read it without knowing ANYTHING about it. the title speaks loudly enough

100% TRUTH

Also, research shows trigger warnings dont really do much of anything.

For me, it depends on the situation, in this manner it makes sense to not do so, especially since you're reading something meant to inform, rather than to entertain. However, fictional books, television shows and films if they're meant to be entertainment (not educational, or informative) should come with a warning. As in those situations you're not only trying to amuse, or entertain yourself (which won't happen if you're triggered), but to some people it's an escape from their reality and once again, can't really do that if you're triggered. The negative effects of being triggered depending on what it is, can last quite awhile.

So she heard therapist who is a professional say “face triggers!”, then she a non professional was like yeah it worked for me so it should work for others? Interesting.

I'm so glad that she got to talk about this because she's right, and her therapist having her work through her triggers like that is a great example of how identifying your triggers is a step in recovery, not a step in avoidance (at least, not permanent avoidance). You can't recover from trauma if you avoid everything that triggers you all the time, and that's just really not possible or healthy long term. Avoiding triggers early in recovery is helpful, but eventually, if you're avoiding the triggers, you're not living a full life. Your life is controlled by the trauma. Life doesn't come with trigger warnings, but they are an important step in healing and recovery, so they have use and a thoughtful creator will consider whether they want to use them, since there are good valid reasons on both sides of the argument. I like her reasoning for not having a trigger warning and agree with it, but had she decided to put in a trigger warning, that would have been fair too. Either way, I still would have read her book and found it incredibly well written and insightful.

the point of trigger warnings isn’t so you avoid the piece of media all together, but rather that you know those things are discussed and you can “gird your loins” so to speak. it makes sure you don’t stumble into something you can’t handle today, but could handle tomorrow. in all honesty, most memoirs (including this one) there is a very clear trigger warning—the title. picking up a book called “I’m Glad My Mom Died” by a former child actor is enough to know it will be serious. we know how meaningful those pieces of art can be—how they can decimate you even on a good day. life doesn’t care about triggers, but art (notably fictional art) should.

you dont just get to decide who participates in exposure therapy or not lol the purpose of trigger warnings is to let readers know what sensitive content is in books. hopefully this doesnt become normal for authors because PTSD exists and it’s valid and just because your therapist said you need exposure therapy doesnt give anyone the right to decide that for everyone else…

That’s such a weird take. She doesn’t get to decide when people start their exposure therapy. Are they ready, do they have guidance?
Books are for enjoyment, it’s only fair to let people choose what they are ready for.

Absolutely. Triggers are inherently unavoidable.
Jesus loves you ♡

sometimes people will see the trigger warning and still read it but they were prepared for it and will be more mindfull and ready to face it. Exposure therapy should be carefully prepared because otherwise it can retraumatize someone. Also not everyone is able to get rid of being extremely triggered

My best friend took his own life three years ago. So literally anything can make me think any of my friends is gonna die. Don’t text me back fast enough? They’re dead. Have a weird looking pimple? It’s gonna kill them. Having a bad day? They’re gonna get depressed and leave me behind too. Does that mean I can have a literal panic attack or get angry any time someone in my life doesn’t text back fast enough, has a medical issue, or has a bad day? No. I just gotta breathe and tell myself that even though my mind and body are very upset that it’s not rational and that one person doing the scary thing doesn’t mean every person in my life will.

I hate trigger warnings for this exact reason. Life doesn't warn you about triggers you'll face day in and day out. You're also responsible for your own triggers. Remove yourself and get it together, then come back to it. Trigger Warnings don't even help much. They already tell you what it is and THAT can be enough to set you off. Plus, why wouldn't you expect triggering things in a book with such a title? Put two and two together. The whole book would be triggering OBVIOUSLY.

Hell, we aren’t even aware of half our triggers anyway!

Yeah but SHE ISNT clinical professional so she shouldnt make that discussion for others....😂