Attachment - avoidant

My child has become like this recently. She was fine. She acted like the securely attached one. Then her nanny left and I went back to work and we needed to use a string of backup nannies for a month. How do I fix this???

How are you suppose to fix it?

The mother wasn’t even trying to interact with the kid. When she reenters the room she goes and sits in a chair away from the child which is behind where they’re actually looking. Doesn’t get close, get down of their level, put their arms out, pick them up. Nothing.

I remember when i was toddler, my parents often leave me alone at home, and lock the door for hours. Maybe for work or college. I didn't cry or care at all and just enjoy playing my toys. And when i grow up i dislike when people rely on me when its their responsibility and they still can do it, and not just because lazy 🤨

We can’t be there every waking moment it’s scary to think cause I have to go to work my child will develop an attachment disorder.

The child has no reaction to the mother leaving the room and coming back. That to me is very unusual, especially at that age. It shows a a deep disconnection.

This study works only in the western countries. In other cultures, the child learns from an early age to form attachment with multiple people and children spend most of their day with someone else other than their mother and when they start walking they spend most of their day outside playing with other children. They have less fear of strangers especially when they reach the age of this toddler. They have outgrew stranger’s anxiety.

This study had different results in different cultures especially in Japan.

Nice video

While I was watching this I didn’t realize what I was supposed to be looking for and when the video ended I was confused. I think To me, watching this behavior from a child felt normal and familiar…almost like I was the same way as a baby

Eye contact....is a must...🤕🤕❤️

This has made me so sad. That small girl just getting on with it, as a form of self preservation, an attempt to not be “affected” or bothered by the fact that ones emotional needs are not being adequately met. And to not be “a bother” to one’s caregiver. I believe I have an avoidant attachment style.

You can obviously tell the child doesn’t have a good connection with the mother. She doesn’t respond to her and looks for the stranger that gave her attention

I hope this mom and child were able to repair their bond as the years went on.

All I heard was the mother is desperate for connection and is hurt her baby isn’t needy all the time for her so of course the child has a Huge problem. Duh. Your emotional insecurity is hurting kids.

Of course this is normal. There are so many variables here that are ignored. And many more baby’s responses that are not interpreted. I hope people understand that attachment theory is just a theory developed by a group of people. Just that. Not a proof of anything really. All those commenting that they were told that they were a good baby, perhaps that is what it was- you were just a good baby and not some malfunctioning, maladjusted baby.

I’d hate to be the parent in this scenario 😭

This mother shows almost no interest in her child. And the feeling seems to be mutual.

I think mumma has some attachment problems as well tbh which has likely played a role in her child’s attachment. She certainly wasn’t engaging very well with her child during those interactions

The immediate emotional reaction to this video is sadness but… 🤷🏽‍♂️

As a result though we developed really vivid imaginations that are for wonderful company in childhood. 🙏🏽

breaks my heart

When people let their babies "cry it out" or sleep train all youre doing is teaching your baby you wont meet their needs and they will give up on seeking love. Its severely sad.

I saw a study and it said even children with avoidant attachment styles should still cry/be concerned when their caretaker leaves. This does not seem to be the case here.

I was this kid, not bothered whether my mom is there or not. In fact, i didn't even mond going along with relatives to their house without hesitation when they used to tease to take me to their place with many toys. I used to believe, wow i so self sufficient. I don't need anyone like those kids who used cry when their mom left for some time. Now when in my adulthood, I feel i have numbed all along, ruminating in my own imagination. Now that i realize, i am incapable of having close relationship. I fear the most is is my parents die. I might not feel anything.

There is something missing here. Crying when caretaker leaves. This child may have been punished for crying as a baby and has learned to not cry. This child also knows that it’s needs will not be met. I have the avoidant attachment style. I remember being a baby and spanned every thing cried. I remember being stuck in a playpen with wet diapers, hungry and if I cried, I would get spanked. I would also hold onto the side and someone would push my fingers off. And I would fall down. These memories recently popped up in my mind. I am in my 40’s and I was stunned. I have been studying up on the caretakers responsibilities for their children for some time now. It goes farther than we know about attachment style. It’s a survival mechanism and it begins in utero. It’s fascinating

😢😢😢

According to my family this is how I was as a child, I very rarely cried and was fine when left alone. I kept myself entertained and in their eyes I was such an easy child

This one is even more sad than the ones where they cry..

Sad thing is, for people who aren't familiar with the concept and importance of attachment, this behavior is rewarded. For them this is an easy child when in reality, this behavior is not a good sign of development.

Poor poor baby. Content in looking after herself. Just look at the way this mother interacts with her child, there's hardly any engagement whatsoever

Spoiled, child freaks. Not spoiled, parent can leave and child doesn't loose theyre mind bc they're well balanced and rational. Good job, mom!

no such thing as insecure or avoidx or attachx or strangerx etc, cepux ,yuax etc, self imporx any nmw, idts, self led not led by otherx, no avoidx etc no matter what

Are these babies more likely to develop Avoidant personality disorder?

I don't understand what is going on in this video.

Ugh this is so sad, poor baby.

That baby applied for it’s own WIC

this is how I was when I was a child. I now have very bad social anxiety and my mother doesn’t understand because I was so ‘confident’ as a child

I recently watched a baby show terror in her eyes when she saw her mother. She looked for any way that she could escape. She has far more interest in her older sister or in strangers than in her own mother. Unfortunately, many people grow up like that in our world.

I might do this experiment with my kid to make sure I’m parenting correctly lol

She’s like somebody gotta watch me I’m a babay lol

it shows to me a very confident, independent and secure baby, that does not need a controlling figure rather just a guiding figure.

This baby had to grow up fast 😥

The mother interacts with the baby as if the baby is not hers.

the baby's literally just vibing what's wrong with yall

Ummm. At the start she says

“So is she your god sister”
“No she’s my cousin”

It’s not even her mum so this is completely inaccurate to try and apply such psychological theory.

Thanks alot for the video!

Anyone else watching for VCE psychology?

the toddler’s just vibing

Analyzing the mother, she is very distant from the child. There's rarely physical contact and it seems that there is no communication -the caregiver doesnt know how to approach the toddler, so this toddler does not respond to the caregiver