Do INFJs Attract Betrayal?

This is good information, however it isn't easy or even a good idea in settings for survival. Some families or even social structures have dominated everything that you have to fall in line in order to survive. Its sucks because i have lived this in my culture for a long time. It feels like you are the only one aware of what's happening and no one else dares to challenge the system, in fear of the consequences. you would have to create your own system so that you don't have to follow the crowd, which is what I'm trying to do.

Thank you!

I cannot align with the cultural norm: 1. I don't feel like having a boss 2. If I have a partner, and get married, I would prefer that we live apart.

my narcissistic mother used christian doctrines to make me a people-pleaser, consequently I was exploited & abused by narcissists for 50 years until I learned this stuff & how to build healthy boundaries which can feel isolating at first but empowering once we get used to having personal security measures in place

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Why do you lump INFJ with INFP?

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Amazing thank you.

So needed this ...

I don't see all INFJs' problems as stemming form childhood trauma or patterns anymore. Some of them definitely yes, but some definitely not! There are millions of people who undergo the same trauma without developing the trait of helpfullness. If you have a highly developed trait of harmony seeking on top of helpfullness it will move you to help others to the point of being detrimental to our wellbeing. This is not negative. This is very positive. What is negative is a narcissitic world enamoured in its own elaborate lies. These traits are gold amidst swamp, not a liability if you raise your awareness.

Kindly increase the gain on your video's audio. There is a mismatch so when commercials play the audio is very loud. Thanks

Infj male. Instinctively, I want to say infjs literally trade using a different currency than the rest. To us it's immensely valuable, to the others its not the currency they speak and prize. They might be polite for a while, but not for long.

This is BS! It might happen to some that are insecure but in general it has to do with the characteristics of your personality. Although they are your strengths it also gives room for betrayers and narcissist to come in. Since an early age I’ve had the reputation for being intolerant. Meaning I don’t allow others to take advantage of me. Use the door slam frequently and have become very good at reading intentions. If you want to blame yourself for being soft be my guest. When you’re a good person someone will always try take advantage INFJ INTP or whatever. I would focus more on the fact that this is why the lone wolf exist, it’s not because of insecurity or because we like being lone wolves, our personalities and our strengths are use and when used we run the risk of being used. And because we can see intentions we cut people off before they get close.

I NEED to remember to give myself a buffer before responding to someone.

Ok but what If I think I am not abandoning myself? When someone wanted my "private pictures" that person really played it well, pretended that he loves me and so on. So how is that self abandonment? Does this mean that I can't be never happy? That I can never have relationship? Because all what I attracted were narcissists who only used me and abused me.

This is so complicated situation. Because I would "betray" myself just to be loved by someone which is for me very important. Its like, nor A or B is right. If I stick to my standarts, I am alone. If I betray myself, I still end up alone. So whats the point of it??? Doesn't matter If I "betray" myself or no, I am still not loved and don't get any real love. My father was absent (narcissist, didnt live with us), mom is emotionally unavailable and immature. Only my grandma was telling me "I like you" but she was also very dominant and had big ego. But at least she took care about me when I was sick. She SAW ME. In my life I feel that only fake people and narcissists see me. Its like If I was invisible for normal people.

Or we make a person narcissist because we praise them a lot that boost their ego

I think my expectations are way too high. (Sigh). Btw, your hair looks amazing. I love the color and the curls.

How do I tell someone that they are not allowed to emotionally manipulate me? I usually just don't allow myself to be emotionally manipulated and I end up feeling annoyed, but people seem really shocked when they realize that they weren't actually able to make me feel bad about myself.

If you ever make an "Do INFJs/INFPs irritate themselves?" video, I hope I'm the first one to view it. T_T

The pattern of needing to have a purpose in the workd has driven me to helping to much and overaccomodating. The pattern happens so fast because it is deeply ingrained in the unconscious, i have to practice so much compassion when i override my boundaries abd agree to doing things and playing roles for others. Im glad to know this isnt just a phenomenon development feom childhood abuse but a oattern infjs struggle with. It gives it a larger context and reduces shame that comes up when you think you are psychologically defective abd a national pushover.

I think it happens for me because im afraid to show up and be authentic with the people who actually value me. Honestly dont know how to handle someone actually giving me attention

Yes , I believe SOMEWHAT , but they are NOT INFJ's , do NOT share the Loyal respect. To some find a way to justify. easier. Typed in before hearing you speak. I pulled away from people, I just shar some clip photo's of art, along with sketches, of doing either circles with a few sticks for legs, points where the Knees go if eating , or running. So, if they chose to sketch in doodles they might try .I tell it is much in knowing a bit of anatomy where the parts are in shape. this way they wont think I am a SHOW OFF. Some Just toss out. Maybe next time or months later, they will see different. I shared, and gained the energy of connecting..

I give chances, then I run and bolt the door shut

Very supportive and apt words of advice❤

Infp are very dangerous.

Totally agree. I am starting to work this into my life. I totally agree. I cannot confirm or align to the norm at all.

After 40 I came to the realization that I, as an INFJ who lacks boundaries, actually make narcissists out of innocent people!

I have found that a certain type of bored people are attracted to the INFJ, maybe since the INFJ is a hard nut to crack. They don’t actually care about the INFJ, but rather are just looking to not be bored, they disappear once they are no longer excited by the INFJ.

The self abandonment and people pleasing in combination with a bored individual (who push boundaries for excitement) is a destructive combination, for the INFJ.

I don’t think INFJ attracts this type of personality; bored people troll both wide and deep for excitement, they probe everyone until they find a temporary release for their boredom, and sometimes the INFJ happens to be there.

Short answer is yes

Lost me on the whole food things .....pretty much have an iron gut. No allergies. But there's alot things I say no to .....moderation is key. Peer pressure tho? Not a problem. Honest about what want and don't when comes to food. There are however things I won't eat unless was starving. And some things I've seen I think Noone should eat if can get a cheese burger or pop tart or something instead. But yeah. Agree with the whole compromising too much on boundaries in other ways to please others. A few Years isolating after major betrayals has helped me alot tho. Good content overall sis. Keep up the good work. High 5

When manipulation, betrayal, and downright desire to dominate are presented to us,....the mature infj enters battle without illusion....he/ she KNOWS what they are about.

"Your body needs you to stand up for it. How am I not protecting myself and my body?" That's key. Self-abandonment is part of trauma. If you've abandoned yourself already, betrayal often happens.

I appreciate this so much. I didn't know my food sensitivity was connected to my personality type, and I never connected betraying myself with others betraying me. That is a breakthrough.

... i feel betrayed because I have betrayed myself. Indeed I have.

This is bs. I am not responsible for other person behavior!

I’m an INFJ. Both betrayal and most recently abandonment. Reading dishonestly.

Reading and scanning. Trusting when I shouldn’t. I’m a human lie detector.

Control by others never works for them. I’m not competing. I mystify others.

Call me dumb, but what is an INFJ?

One thing I can say for a fact is that we can bring out a person's true personality, I e the one they hide from people.

Wow, this is so uplifting it’s truly important to stay inspired.
I feel such a deep sense of emptiness. It’s been two months since Jack left, and every day feels like an eternity without him. My mind is overwhelmed with memories of our time together. The thought that I’ll never experience the little things with him again is so painful. I’ve texted him so many times, pouring out how much I miss and want him back, but he hasn’t replied. All I can do now is hold onto the memories.

Of course I do and see it in almost everyone.

We attract and attach ourselves to narcissists. They are notorious for lying, cheating and betrayal. Not to mention entitlement manipulation and gaslighting.

Same. Well said.
The way I have been able to insert some self-compassion has been through future self work.
Thanks for sharing.

Betrayal and abandonment and being used up is a given. Finding out I'm an INFJ later in life was a godsend. Studying what that meant helped all the pieces fall into place. I finally understood that I was not broken, defective or any other awful label slapped on me. I'm simply unusual in multiple ways. Allowing myself just that much, was life changing.

My father read my journal when I was young haven’t spoken in more then 10 years

I’m an infj and dated an infj and it was tumultuous I feel drained and betrayed and after all the hurt I felt she abandoned me😢