maybe I was the reason.

Yes I was the reason

wtf lançou tem 6 min ???!!!!

What an beautiful playlist/mix ❤😌👍

in mid 2014, I thought I impregnated my girlfriend. I was 21 at the time, she was 19. She sent me a text with a picture of a positive test. She was crying her eyes out in fear when I called her. I spent nearly an hour on the phone with her, comforting her and reassuring her.
"I love you."
"I'm proud of you."
"This isn't a 'mistake', it's something to celebrate."
"I am here for you every step of the way through this."
"You're the love of my life. Maybe we didn't plan this, but we'll do ok. Let's face the future together as a team, baby."
"You know this means you're my wife now. I didn't expect to ask you this way, and I wanted to do it next year, but please, marry me, and I'll do my best to care for you and our baby."
"Thank you for giving me the gift of fatherhood. I'll be the best daddy I possibly can."

I told her the gameplan - We take a week to gather our thoughts, relax, and seriously think about what we're going to do. Next weekend, I invite everyone in our families out to dinner, and we break the news.

She agreed.

Then, during that 'thinking' week, everyone between our families, and our greater friend group, got lice. Never knew what caused it. For whatever reason, this angers her mother, who starts a fight with mine. Before I get a chance to explain anything, her mother forcibly cuts the relationship off.

I try to get hold of the family and explain that we can't just 'cut it off' - she's pregnant. They need to know.

They don't answer. They refuse to.

They disappear off the face of the fucking planet for 7 weeks. Their cars are all gone. They're not at their house. My family can't contact them. They aren't answering their phones or computers. I file a police report because I think something's wrong.

They come back, but won't contact me. They move homes.

For two years more, I think there's a child floating out there, in the adoption system, or god forbid, being raised by the man she probably left me for.

She comes back to my home, those 2 years later, in mid 2016, to tell me "Hey, I aborted, get fucked." Not her words, they were more "Eloquent", but still. It left me staring down the barrel of a 12 for 3 months.

For 8 years, I avoided dating and relationships. I stopped caring for myself and became a hoarder. I gained 90 pounds. Then corona hit and turned me into an even worse hermit and misanthrope.

A month ago (August 2024), I get a wild hair to reach out again. I ask her to tell me the truth about what happened. Did she really abort? Did she give up my son?

Turns out, no. She faked the test all along, and strung me on for 8 years down the worst possible mental abuse I could have received .

Amy, why? Why did you destroy my faith in, and understanding of love, intimacy, family, and relationsips? You were such a beautiful and bubbly girl when I met you. So kind and sweet, so full of life.

What made you become so evil?

What did I do? Was I the reason?

That’s probably one of the worst phases of the separation of love, that “maybe I was the reason.” When you begin to doubt who you are as a person and blame yourself for every single thing that ever went wrong together, wishing that if you weren’t so stupid then maybe you could’ve still been together. Self hate, especially when it’s fueled by a heartbreak/unfulfilled high expectations of yourself, is a deadly dagger that needs to be put away so that you can grow into becoming a better person. To realize that some things are not meant to last forever. It took me far too long to let go of my self hatred, 6 yrs, but it was one of the best decisions I have ever made and I feel emotionally free because of it.

Idk what’s wrong with me. I’ve never been through a hard faze in my life but I’m just filled up with this anger and sadness inside of me for no particularly reasons.

I've been on many of these videos now this month. I've read so many heartbreaking stories: isolation, family abuse/family problems, abandonment, breakups, betrayal, emptiness, loneliness, mental illness, and the list goes on. I find it significant that even so, there are tons of people that encourage others to try and find some hope, even if they themselves know deep down there is no hope left for themselves. I've become a hopeless wandering soul myself, but wandering is something I always was before my abandonment and isolation. I didn't lose hope until the only person I had worth living for decided to abandon me. I don't know if it was genuine or if it was the mental illness they had at play, but I even saw one day that it could happen, and I feared this the most. Myself growing unstable only making matters worse, I used to be such a kind and caring soul and all I've done is help others, only to get abandoned in the end. When they spiraled out of control, I poured my heart out. When I spiraled, they poured me out.

Nothing lasts forever, but what does it mean when you can't enjoy anything else after what you've had is gone? To me, it means nothing. The saying "nothing lasts forever" means nothing when the only reason you ever had something was because you were lucky. Because it was cultivated at an early point in your life, and you plead desperately to try not to let it go because you know that once it's gone, you will be floating in the endless void and limbo that is nothingness, but simultaneously, pain. To me, that is the true meaning of suffering. I've seen some people proclaim that they'd rather feel something than nothing. I know what it's like to feel both,.

I wish I could forget. I wish I could just "be" and nothing affect me. Sometimes, I wish i never met the person, I wish other things in my life was better so that I didn't have to go seek something other than myself. For some reason, my mind just won't let go. No matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I reason with myself, no matter how many quotes I shove into my ears, it all means nothing to my mind. All that matters is how it's been abused, used, and discarded, and now that's the only thing that matters. Someone told me none of it matters, and you just have to find a way to be successful, but what's not understood is that there is no point to survive for the sake of survival alone for some, if not, a lot of people. If so, pain and suffering wouldn't afflict us as much as it does, and we would just be content eating, showering, and sleeping on repeat. Now that I'm in isolation, there's nothing left to seek but suffering and despair, as there is nothing left to go towards.

You can move on, you can forgive and not forget, you can try to keep hope, you can fake convince your mind that you can give it another purpose for living, but again, what does it mean when you can't enjoy anything else after what you've had, which is all you've had, is gone?

Complete and utter voidness and suffering.

As for my little message, I'd say mine will be a warning. Keep your compassion, keep your care, keep your love, keep your warmth, keep your individualism, your peace, or whatever it is that makes you happy that exists within YOURSELF, because it can keep you content and happy. However, when it is threatened, the very second it is threatened, protect it as if you are protecting your life, for they are one in the same. If you have something that is keeping you going, if you think you can find something that can keep you going, clutch it and don't let it go, ever. It is life to you just as much as is your beating heart is. NEVER. LET. IT. GO. PROTECT IT WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT AND ALL YOUR WITS.

Or you'll regret it more than you will and can ever understand. .ᴖ.

I'm spaceman, my spacecraft lack faster than light speed, only pure raging rocket engines. My goals are stars beyond this solar system. It will take a long long long time, but I will eventually achieved my goals.

Надеюсь, этот комментарий находит вас в добром здравии и хорошем настроении. Кем бы вы ни были, я горжусь вами! Спасибо за всё, что вы делаете.

Мы все иногда устаём, и это совершенно нормально. В такие моменты особенно важно найти время для отдыха и перезагрузки. Мы собираемся в таких местах, как этот канал, чтобы расслабиться и насладиться замечательной музыкой.

Недавно я создал блог, где хотелось бы делиться своими мыслями, но пока он всё ещё пуст. Мой вам совет — документируйте свою жизнь! В будущем это станет самыми ценными воспоминаниями.

Before, I blamed everyone and everything around me, but now I blame only myself for everything.

Yep.. i loved too hard for the one who doesn't care..

beautiful playlist

薄暮时分

Everyone will be alone at the end; no exceptions. Face it. Accept it. Embrace it.

🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
"Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind’s journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul’s fate revealed. In time, all points converge, hope’s strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe’s endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again."
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
--Diamond Dragons (series)

why i’m always the reason?

O quizás no fui yo la razón
El amor es ciego amigos
Temazos para dormir

i feel like ever since i lost a good chunk of my friends during sophomore year due to a very stupid reason on their part, then my guinea pig passed away a few months later, and i only have like 2-3 friends to hang out with at school, and im still single and forced to watch my sister nd her bf enjoy their company tg, that was the day, april 7th, that i’ve felt alone ever since

Не может быть, а так и есть. В своих проблемах виновата я сама, это всё из-за меня 😔 но как же всё исправить, я не знаю, всё так сложно 😢

thank you for this music

hope everyone is doing ok

Спасибо большое 😭😭😭

Sad truth is closest people can hurt you mostly, getting betrayed from person who u care and love is most sad, got betrayed by girl whitch i really loved and i was even about to change religion just to be with her when i find out that she was texting other man than it immediately become no one for me 1 month i couldnt get out of bed because of this but now im okay, i start focusing more on myself and goals all i want to say with this move on no matter what people did to u or what u did to them, theyre like virus and virus is just corrupting body nothing else..

I'm 16. I have a girlfriend; she is the loveliest, sweetest, most beautiful, true, and most fascinating person I've ever met. I’ve dreamed about having this girl for close to a year now. I have her now. And it pains me to think there's a possibility that it'll end, probably over some stupid high school drama as well. It pains me a lot to think that it'll probably be me who's the cause of it. I'm not as beautiful, lovely, honest, and not nearly as fascinating as her. But I don't know what to do. How do I get something to last that feels like it could just be a wilting, burning, dying flower? I am almost upset with myself for meeting her this early. I could have been so much better if it had just been in a few years. I could have a chance to make this last. I could live out the dream of settling down with her, but I'm in highschool, for christ sake. What do I do? What could I possibly do?

У меня 2 раз яйцо скручивание случилось мне возможно будут делать операцию удалять его

Мне так страшно я даже боюсь такое представить будто неизбежное которое настанет надеюсь это обойдётся так страшно у меня до этого небыло операции а тут резко операция...







Незнаю кто увидит надеюсь у вас всё хорошо 😓

anyone else just want to disappear? not die but vanish. no pain to those who know you, no evidence that you were around. just spectate the world around you. does anyone else have that feeling evolve and spiral into thoughts of suicide? i cant be the only one. surely not.

Who am I? All my feelings are gone, I have nothing left, I'm empty inside, I'm empty outside. Like a candle about to burn out. One question remains, is this the end before the beginning or the beginning of the end? I feel that I will be gone soon, but I hope I will get the answer there, why I had all this suffering.

It hurts when your best friend becomes just a friend....

Belki de benim yüzümdendir.

I am the reason, most of the time. At least I think so, because only the worst things happen when I try to be independent and try to help. But at least I know that if I change, hopefully everything will go back to being better.

Peut-être que j'était la raison pour laquelle il m'a abandonné.. je ne méritai pas son amour, concept que je n'ai jamais connu d'ailleurs. J'ai fait des efforts pour m'intégrer mais on me coulait assez rapidement. Son ennemi était mon ami et j'ai lutter contre cette nature. Je dois m'en remettre a moi même à présent. Lâcher prise et me rendre a l'évidence.. je suis une mauvaise personne.. il a daigner me regarder et me tendre la main mais je n'ai fait qu'abuser de son temps. Ma vie est tellement triste que je ne parle même pas d'un amour perdu mais du très haut... un matin je me suis réveillé et j'ai perdu la foi. Je n'attend plus que le néant et la fin de cette putain d'existence.

Hey harika şeyler paylaşıyorsun Türk müsün merak ettim

sometimes I just feel that I don't belong anywhere everywhere, that everyone just don't get it, don't understand it, and if they do they jus don't care, i'm so tired of trying to be different, to look different, and when I get tired of all of this, it just gets worse, they hate me for my looks, the way I talk, the way I walk, I'm so tired of this, I just wish they could understand, anyone understand, i jus wish that I could be like anyone else but not me, I just bring awful things to people near me,to people who I care, I just wished I could have peace for once.

Yes, I was the reason. The one that keep you with the energy to be awake for hours just to talk about our lives, the nights of laughter, games, and growth. I am the reason why you cried and broke down in front of your psychologist, I'm sorry. I told you numerous times that first we should fix our problems individually, I offered you all my support but you said you didn't want to get out of that depression. You are the reason why I believe in the phrase "right person, wrong time", even though I don't talk to you anymore I always think of you and have a certain esteem, you know I am agnostic but If I pray it is always for you.
I know you will find YOUR REASON to keep going.

I hate myself because I'm the reason..

항상 제목에 이끌려서 들어오게 된다..

For me, I was never separated but I was rejected, the girl I loved the most and I still do friend-zoned me, I just want to give her the love and affection she deserves, I believe I can treat her better than any other guy, but she made it clear she only views me as a friend. I don't mean to be cheesey but she's the literal balance between my emotions, she makes me happy and sad, My friend said to me "You need her in life, even if she's just a friend." because like again she's my balance of emotions. We live in Australia but Unfortunately she's moving to Japan, her home country in a few years, so when I'm like older I might visit. She is my everything, and I know she's the one for me although she doesn't like me as more, she thinks of me as a friend or a brother.

its getting over this phase that makes you feel more in control of your life even if its hard to get out of it...its falling back into that spiral that makes you feel worse then last time and makes you believe you cant get back out of it like you did. ive been on a roller coaster ride of that feeling and recently got talking to a therapist and im soon going to see a doctor because i might have schizophrenia which is the reason why i keep falling back into that step of empty-ness, with believing that my friends and people will leave me because ill seem insane or crazy to them which is something i fear and dread...being alone in the world. sure it seems nice but it would feel horrible if it ever happened since humans NEED to interact with others to live a normal life. i hope i get better. school is hell right now. i hope my friends dont leave me when i tell them this. i hope and pray im ok and will get through it.

It has taken me some time to accept or to even recognize it, but yes; I was indeed always the reason..

I was

me siento tan solo...

Un día estaba solo en mi casa, era un día como cualquier otro, pero me quedé sin trabajo y tuve una pelea tan grave con mi señora que me dejó en las ruinas...
Pasaron los días y terminamos, mi herida fue tan grave, trataba de encontrar trabajo para no sentirme arruinado, la soledad y el sentimiento de que siempre fue todo mi culpa me derrumbaron, no pasaron más de 4 días y la lucha contra mis ganas de sxic idarme la estaba perdiendo, pasaron solo 5 días y me hallaba en otro mundo, pensando en que habrá en la nada y si ahí también sería todo mi culpa, parecía que estaba atrapado en pastillas pero no, solo era mi inconsciente tratando de salir y ir más allá.......
En fin, lo intenté y no resultó..... y me di cuenta de que todo fue tan inútil cuando mi familia regresó de vacaciones y tuve un gran abrazo de mi madre y mis hermanas.

Thank you for the wonderful music. I've been feeling tired and nervous lately, so this was a great comfort.
We both work, but I'm always the one doing the tougher housework and work, and my partner doesn't cooperate with the housework even though he has easy jobs, so I feel frustrated. In contrast to him who said he had fun at the company party today, all I could say was that I was busy with work and taking care of my juniors, which made me hate myself. I hate myself for being able to say nothing but sarcasm. It's no good if you don't have the mental capacity to do so, so I'm going to listen to music and gently calm my mind. thank you.

Quizas nunca fueron los problemas con sus padres, las pesadillas que tenia, la ansiedad por el futuro o todo lo demas... Quizas yo fui la razon y simplemente quiso deshacerse de mi. Quizas no fui l oque ella espero, despues de todo fue todo gracias a una cita arreglada. Incluso al estar saliendo, podia nitar en su rostro la decepción de no parecerme a lo que ella hubiera imaginado, una especie de principe de libro ingles, que tanto ella leia. Al final no supe nada mas de ella, salvo que sale con alguien mas, pero eso ya ni importa. No le guardo rencor, eso no sirve de nada. Pero aveces me pongo a pensar... Y si quizas yo fui la razon?

Ben duygularini bilmeyecek kadar kördum sen ise gormeye zorladin

В комментах выговариваются да? Я тоже хочу, мне очень тяжело, я устала. В этом году я поступила в вуз, насколько же бесчеловечные преподаватели, я учусь 6 дней в неделю почти каждый день 4 пары, я очень стараюсь учиться, но б***ь это невозможно. Настолько большая нагрузка, еще и говорят что мы тупее прошлых лет, по непрофильным предметам заваливают как по профильным. Мне очень обидно, у меня есть желание учиться, но как можно учиться когда это превращается в необходимость набрать баллы. Действительно ли я должна была здесь оказаться? Судьба это, или моя ошибка не ясно.. У меня нет времени ни на сон, ни на прогулку с друзьями, ни на готовку.... но при всех моих усилиях я все равно не очень понимаю материал.. чтоб вы понимали, это не то чтобы просто мое мнение, это мнение и рутина всей моей группы.

롤 연패하고 알고리즘 떠서 펑펑울었다

느끼는 것 만으로도 이전의 나보다 성장하고 있다는 것.
자책하지말고 포기하지 마세요
남이 아닌 자신을 사랑해야 행복해질 수 있습니다

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