Stop Helicoptering! Raise Free-Range Kids & Beat Fear | Author Lenore Skenazy

I thought this lady was crazy before listening to the episode. After listening to the episode I am grateful… I really needed to hear this. I do live in fear and it’s not biblical. I wouldn’t let my kid go on a New York subway but that’s not exactly what she’s saying

This is not the same world. There are literally people walking around who are full of the devil and just waiting to victimize the vulnerable. No way I’m not protecting mine best I can. Folks are literally setting people on fire in the subway in NY these days. The world is not safe like she’s trying to say.

When something is valuable to you, you protect it.

“It is better to be gullible than be suspicious “. Words like “wisdom”, “discernment”, and building of trust over time come to mind.
Not sure what it’s like in different parts of America, but in Australia there are multiple foundations founded to support families with children who disappeared, and never returned.
In Australia many early childhood educators are required to undertake child protection training (for abuse and neglect) as it is FAR more common than many think.
Coming from both an educator and a mum ❤
Alex, not sure if you will read this but I hope you will consider that building independence with supervision nearby and leaving children unattended are not the same. Not these days.

Read hunt, gather, parent by Michaeleen Doucleff it's a great book!

This was so good! People who are offended and defensive have had a chord struck. They know there is somewhere in their parenting where they need to give more room, but they can’t bring themselves too. Thank you for putting this out there!

This episode is just wow in a good way

If you don’t want to allow YOUR child to do things independently, fine. But for the love of life, DO NOT be a Karen and call cps on parents who know their children are capable of having such independence. Thats just insane. Especially if the kids isn’t being hurt or hurting anyone.
Trust in God.

This was Alex's interview, not Lenore's: too much information and opinions from Alex

These days the kids that are out there like that is because their parent can’t really be around and they end up in gangs my husband went through that and they lived in one of the nicest areas of town. When my brother hung out outside gang kids would also try to pick on him boy have a tendency to get in fights that’s just not the childhood anyone wants for their kids. In the best areas of town even though gangs may not be as visible there are fr sure around looking around to see if there’s small kids to recruit I only know this because of my husband and he recents his parents for giving her too much freedom to the point where it wasn’t safe. There’s also lot of predators. There are way too many photos of missing kids at Walmart to think my town is safe.
Not to mention when I was a kid in 5th frase I was up to no good on purpose so of course I’m not gunna let my kid in the city streets alone. Gosh and with all the violent illegals in New York how can she say that.

Oh, look! Another rage bait type episode from Alex. How surprising!

A helicopter parent is one who refuses to let their child be independent. A good parent is one who knows when to be protective and when to let them be independent. I grew up in the early 2000s in NYC and knew better than to ride the subway alone. It's an even more dangerous situation now.

I completely understand the idea of letting kids be independent, but to completely dismiss that the world is not always a safe place is so naive. This isn't teaching independence, this is not wanting to parent your child.

out of touch with today's reality

My husband is a first responder and I'm a former ER nurse. I politely disagree with all of this. Most crime is committed due to opportunity. Once you care for a child that's been the victim of a horrible crime it never leaves you.

I'm all for letting kids do dangerous things carefully, but that's just reckless

It’ll be interesting when the conservative girlies supporting this stuff actually pop their babies out of their ideas change
I keep my eye on my kids at all times but I don’t treat them like an invalid either? I’m so confused by the extremes

Is this a joke?

I spent half a week in NY back in 2019 and rode the subway a handful of times. Within those few days, I had a homeless man scream in my face, begging for me to help him. I had another man stand directly in front of me, eye me up and down, and grin at me. The latter happened with my female cousin being the only other person in the car with me and this man. I still get sick to my stomach thinking about of those incidents. I can’t imagine putting my kids in that kind of environment, much less all by themselves.

I don’t think I’m oppressed or that I’m suffering just because I want to wait for my kids in the freezing cold for them to come home in the bus. It’s not a burden because I love them. I also don’t think it’s a burden for me to have my kids with me all day long instead of going to sleepovers, where btw I was sexuality abused by a family member that my family trusted. this whole episode is about parental carelessness and about what a mom can do to self gratify herself.

Before having kids I was an air weapons technician in the military (fixed and loaded bombs, torpedos, missiles as well as the aircrafts themselves) I did it long enough to have a number of 18-20yo apprentices. The kids are not able to accurately assess danger and hazards without you holding their hands. I've stopped my apprentices from walking in front of jet intakes (which will suck you in and turn you into pink mist) I've had to stop apprentices from eating without washing they're hands after fuelling the aircrafts, they need their hands held through every single job because they lack the confidence to do anything without directly being instructed to do so. As much as I dont haave very high opinions of the school system, the kids that were the most cooked were upper middle class kids. If schooling was solely to blame you'd expect all the kids to be cooked regardless of socioeconomic status. You could teach them the same thing hundreds of times and they'd still ask you if they were doing it right or want to be walked through step by step.

Working with aircrafts you have to learn how to marshal (you stand in front of the aircraft and tell it to turn left or right with hand signals) this job more than anything else was the biggest tell of the lack of confidence because its just you out there and the kids would crumble.

Now you might be tempted to say "oh maybe you're just bad at teaching" but every single mentor I worked with had the same complaint and as years went by the apprentices were getting less and less confident even at the same age. The only kids to buck the trend were kids that grew up on farms or grew up so poor they actually had street smarts. Furthermore whether its my fiance, who's an electrician or any of other tradesman we are friends with its the exact same complaint. Without an authority hovering over them, the kids can not think for themselves.

I've had the joy of watching some of my friends raise they're kids free range. The youngest at 2 went out to the propane truck and told the driver where the propane tank was. I'm really impressed with them.

Just some food for thought.

My oldest at 4 year old could definitely go into a small store and buy a banana solo. Meanwhile, my second couldn’t be trusted to hold an umbrella. 😂

Meanwhile grown men are being k*lled on subways & women are being shoved on the tracks but sure ur 8 year old kid is Safe 🙄

I trust my four year old for small tasks. It has been gradual. I know his abilities and let him push his limits to gain independence. I'm not raising a boy. I'm raising a man.
He needs to provide, protect, and learn physically and develop his own skills and confidence.
He has been taught rules by both parents jointly and respects them or he loses the privilege.

Also, there is a BIG difference between city life and country or small town life. I live in a two block town. I know my neighbors and encourage my kids to talk to the adults.
Yes there are risks in climbing trees and playing outside...to everything... But having faith and letting go of fear helps me be a better mother

As a strong Christian, I’ve really struggled with this. I literally just prayed about it and then saw this video. I asked my husband if we’re being too cautious, because I want to find balance. Sometimes my fears go too far—especially when I see my neighbors’ young kids (3, 4, and 7) ( now I wouldn’t do 3 or 4 but certainly 7)playing outside like I used to. It made me question if I’m doing something wrong. But then I saw this video, and it really spoke to me. ❤ Loved the wisdom shared.

There’s a difference between letting your kid ride a bike three blocks in a small town to the grocery store and letting your kid ride a subway in New York alone. Stop acting like those two situations are the same.
This woman is delusional about the crime in New York and other major cities. The average police response time in Chicago is 7 minutes. You can be dead or abused or missing for forever in 10 seconds.

A lot of moms with live in boyfriends (non biological males) in the home…. Saying this is dangerous but what they are doing isn’t LMAO! Look at the data

Completely agree with everything she is saying! In reading these comments, a lot of the responses sound pretty paranoid. As a therapist of 12 years, I often say “what’s wrong” with this generation, is that parents don’t parent their child. Either via under or over coddling.

While a subway might be extreme- our family lives in a Midwest town that lets kids play around the neighborhood and we moved here on purpose because of our most fond memories in childhood. We rode our bikes on the neighborhood streets and walked to candy stores and played in the woods behind our homes. I believe my husband and I became confident, healthy, and independent individuals partially because of these experiences. I hear of teens having anxiety taking out their trash cans now and it breaks my heart. Thank you Alex for talking about this ❤️

Watching this episode and then seeing the comments by paranoid moms worried about the big scary world out there really puts into perspective the childhood I experienced in Karachi, Pakistan.

When we were 7-8, my parents used to encourage us to go to the local mom & pop store on our own and ask for what we wanted. We used to go to the ice cream trunk on our own with the exact money we needed. Then, at 10, we used to walk down to our church compound independently, which was a block away, in the evenings and play with the other kids.
Keep in mind, this is us as Christians in the Islamic Republic of Pakistan.
Are you really going to say your life in America is more dangerous than my situation?

I won’t even ride the NYC subway. So I sure as F wouldn’t allow my child to ride it!!! My kids climb trees, build first, start businesses and wander the woods freely. They do NOT need to be anywhere near NYC.

This lady thinks the world is getting safer and crime is going down!! Are you kidding me? Its getting worse and for the host to profess Christ, i beg her to read the Bible are realize that God says it's only going to get WORSE!!

Another word for lazy parenting and ignorant of the world we live in

Protecting your children doesn't equal "living in fear".

Ya. I ain’t even watching this bc this is beyond asinine. I’m over being called a “helicopter” parent. Not letting your kid ride the subway at 8 in NY is NOT a helicopter parent. That’s a good parent. This woman committed child abuse.

I want to see her interview kori meloy

I was so excited to watch this! It was so good. I bought her book a few years back when you shared your book rec list. Love that this interview happened!

I am a kid raised with a lot of suspicion as she claims is a bad thing and that has saved me a lot of trouble. I've never had anything stolen, never been assaulted, etc. despite living in big cities for many years. I am engaged, healthy and very happy. Personally I do not believe this idea that raising kids gullible is better for them long term, I've met many gullible people and they've ended up unhealthy and unhappy from the many disappointments they have encountered. It's like a permanent state of believing Santa exists... in a sense, this mentality explains the state the left is in right now.

Alex, it is so cool to hear you talk about how you used to babysit when you were 9 and how much you LOVED it and would even read books on it. I love hearing how passionate you were about that and it makes me so excited for you to be a mom yourself someday in the near future! You are going to be such a wonderful mother and your kids will be so lucky to have you! ❤
Thanks for all the amazing guests and for allowing us to get to learn alongside you!

This is dumb. One extreme and another are both bad, and free-range parenting is just an excuse to let your kids do whatever they want and be annoying to all other people around because you aren’t watching them. It’s the most ANNOYING THING to be a Church or at some park and see little kids running around, climbing all over, and being disrespectful because their parents don’t care

When you know anything about the evils of this new generation and also have payed any speck of attention to true crime at all, you know that this is bullshit. Although I’m totally against being a helicopter parent and all for teaching independence, this is SO extreme. You can teach independence while also not risking your children’s lives due to human trafficking or even murder. This puts a pit in my stomach how dangerous this propaganda is

I, for one, appreciated this episode. Thank you. People's minds are really gripped by fear. I have fear too! Hello! But is there really NO opportunity in people's lives where they can give their kid(s) the chance to do something so simple as one of these tasks? NONE??? AT ALL??? NOTHING??? EVER??? Get creative and come up with something so you can let them try a little independence! People, have discernment, you can make SOMETHING work. The fear is really shutting off people's minds.

Honestly I cannot relate at all with the fears of parents in America. We live in Sweden and kids are left on their own all the time everywhere. In the mall, on the bus, trains, playground everywhere. I have a 1,5 month old now and he’ll definitely be free range😅 or he won’t have friends.

I'm a grown adult and I don't even personally go to where crowds gather because I know places like that attract loonies who drive over people or fire guns at crowds...I don't live in fear but I'm well aware of people's mental health and it's unfortunately common in the USA. I don't avoid every situation obviously but I use wisdom and discretion and life is a lot more peaceful. I say hi to my neighbors but Ive taught my son to never enter a house without me. I teach him to be polite and respectful to everyone but he knows about pretadors

F no.

My ex is a cop… I’ve heard too many stories. We will not be following this in our coparenting journey!! Protecting our kids as much as we can. This world is dark

This is unsafe to put out there. No child should be on the subway alone. I am not a helicopter parent, but honey I also have common sense. You dont put a KID on a subway.

Please dont have guests like this again that preach unsafe things for CHILDREN. you've had some guests in the past that have preached unsafe things for adults, but for kids? no maam

I did not want to watch this episode as a certified helicopter parent. But, I have been feeling conviction about letting go and giving my daughter more freedom. I'm so glad I listened to this episode! While, there are some things I would never, ever do... like let her ride a subway alone, this was so encouraging! I've fought the urge to send my daughter to summer camp this week with her Gizmo watch to actually let her be fully away from me and figure things out on her own. I'll be sending her into the store alone soon, and we are brainstorming some other things she'd like to do on her own this summer.

Really loved this episode! Will have to read Lenore's book. I was lucky to grow up in the countryside and had no fear. We would have been two fields away climbing hay bales and building dens.

If we talk about this and parallel this topic to food, maybe it will be understood better. If we suggested that all families should stop worrying so much about food, and just go shop at their grocery stores and buy anything because its all totally safe and thats how generations past did it, what would our response be? We would shout from the roof tops, "no, dont do it, times have changed and our food is being poisoned and you must scour and investigate every food your family eats." And have all of us MAHA moms gotten looks, or comments, about the strict and specific ways we feed our families? (Usually from older generation) But do we care? Likewise, we didnt ask for this bizarre 2025 patenting situation but here we are and just like food youve got to be able to recognize change in the times and act on it. Its always the older generations feeling really cool and trendy pointing their finger telling us we are all helicopter parents. They simply didnt have to raise their kids in such a time as this. Phones and internet are the glyphosate of parenting in 2025 and the increased perversion of people are the GMO's of our time. If you dont see it then its likely your in an older generation, or dont have kids yet. When we are met with judgment for feeding our families with the highest standards shopping only with our local farmer, and saying no to the prevelent toxic ingredients in our food, stand firm. Likewise, when we parent with protection and are met with the classic helicopter label, stand firm. Its all about finding creative ways to allow our kids to experience freedoms now. And there are many many ways to do so, without "free ranging" kids in a time they were never intended to be. Let's remember our kids will have a lifetime to be adults and work and be totally independent. We don't have to flash force this concept at five. Let's preserve the innocence of kids, let them be kids, and other things will come very naturally in time. Also, the majority of us dont care about sending an 8 year old into wawa to get a water. Those are very largely not the issues i think thats pretty much understood

Great episode!