Why You Keep *Failing* at Decluttering

in response to the sponsor ad: i find another way to digitally declutter, so to speak, is to delete your old social media statuses or posts from school. many of my old statuses from the back end of high school (years 10 to 12) from 2011 to 2013 were made when i was extremely anxious and sort of depressed and hella stressed around finishing high school.

like dgmw, i did keep a lot of them to remind myself how much i've grown since 16 to 18 years old.... but looking back at statuses you made when you were actively depressed (like i still am, bt i'm in a healthier mind space now at nearly 30) is shit when you're actively struggling at another time. delete them. you'll feel a little bit lighter.

also turn off your memories reminder function on every website (for me it's just fb), so you don't get a reminder for a status like "i can't believe i'm everyone's last choice. when will someone pick me first?" you made at 16.... when you're an adult now. lmao. I think a lot of my negative statuses from back then spiralled me into online shopping sprees back in uni in my early 20s (not counting uni student discounts lol).

I decluttered and have a minimalist lifestyle now. I don't buy anything unless it's a "need" item or if something is broken, like a vacuum cleaner. I say its easier for men to have this mindset, compare to women with shoes and clothes.

Ngl that analogy was effective

We just downsized and moved, and our kids moved out at the same time. 32 years of stuff! It took almost 6 months but I can now say my attitude has completely changed toward buying new things. I realized I used to shop for entertainment and I'm not doing that anymore. Takes a lot of the fun out of going into town, but I just can't justify buying anything new.

I want to take a moment to talk about that first tiktok you showed off (plus another one later in the video). That's a girl from Germany who has posted her cleaning/decluttering videos for a couple years now. She does her damnedest to live intentionally without "hauls." She regularly sews up her clothes (when the wheel dictates, anyways), she trades with her neighbours and family members, she shops second hand, etc. She's aware of her issues and she just started the next "season" of cleaning/decluttering. These days, it's mostly cleaning, organizing, and more basic errands that she's been procrastinating on. Her videos are less about decluttering and more about holding herself accountable as a human being and doing her best to be an adult. So yeah. I just wanted to give that first "influencer" a shoutout/clarification thing cause I know seeing her apartment shocked me the first time I saw it.

The second one as much later. It's a pregnant woman who is decluttering her parents' house. She lives there with her husband and two children. Her parents are getting up in age. They're also hoarders. So she's not decluttering necessarily because she has too much stuff, she's decluttering because her parents are aging, she and her husband want to move out, and they need to get everything organized prior to doing so. She also started her tiktok in order to hopefully garner enough followers to enter the creator fund (she's succeeded) and earn some income as she's a SAHM. So the decluttering has several reasons for happening, and the original clutter isn't even entirely her "fault" to begin with.

All of your points made in the video are 100% valid and whatnot, I just follow those two creators on tiktok and their stories are much more than just "influencer buys things, declutters things, buys more things." That's all!

I have no problem letting things go… I get more joy knowing that someone else can benefit from an item I no longer use. I also do not go out of my way to find something else to replace the item either.

one thing collect.u always have something new

I think the key is not bringing new stuff (we don't need) into our homes 😊

I'm a collector. Also we'll be moving house soon. So decluttering to remove waste was a necessity. You know who threw away the most? My parents. I made a single waste bag, mostly from my drawers (because those are easy to clutter). Figurine? Clothes? Nothing was thrown away because nothing was clutter. That's my COLLECTION.
And I will never listen to anyone saying that minimalism is better. I love maximalism.

Also, it's "dide-roh" (accent on "oh")

I spent the weekend packing up my apartment for an upcoming move. I've been here 3 years and I'm astounded how much I've accumulated in that time. 😮

i love declutterring. but it needs to be mindful and critically thought out. same as the purchases that will come after.

letting go of stuff isn't my problem, but recycling it the right way is so much work, there's no time or energy to do it. my house would be decluttered in a day if I could just throw everything in a container.

Another great and informative video! What is up with the poop analogies?

My mother was hospitalized this year to the point that my parents had to move out of their house. My siblings and I had to clean out the closet, vanity, bedroom, garage, etc.

We didn't realize how much of a hoarder she was when we removed one row of shoes and then saw another. Or all the boxed shoes and unworn clothes with tags still on them. Or Bath and Body Works from the early 2000s still in their bags with receipts.

Insane.

Well said! Awesome video!

ive been decluttering in chunks since October of last year, and ive tried to declutter several times in the past. but this time im striving for a simpler lifestyle overall, so taking my time and really trying to understand what I need has really made a difference

I think, for many people, the decluttering to buying pipeline is a symptom of anxiety and an attempt to assert control over their lives. There are so many decluttering videos (even the ones shown in this video) where the original poster states that they are decluttering to alleviate anxiety. Decluttering our spaces is a means of exercise control over our lives in the same way that buying something new can be. Ultimately it is a method of self-soothing. The decluttering that sticks, the folks who declutter and only buy things because they will actually add value, are the ones who, yes, step back and reflect on what in their lives is bringing them value. Decluttering becomes a way of making space for the things that are truly important to us rather than simply trying to rid ourselves of something (stress, anxiety, shame, overwhelm etc.) that we are trying to avoid.

I live for the poop analogies.

I’ve been really making an effort in 2025 not to buy anything that isn’t going to be used right away and frequently.

Why declutter? Live while you're alive.

Dit ta row

holyfuck you ad was longer than my life aspirations

Nice video. Decluttering is definitely a life-style change. Not a diet. I did it during the pandemic but ended up buying new crap. Now I've been gradually re-evaluating my purchases & buying less as I sell more carefully. Though I admit the election put me in a selling overdrive this year.

I would add that I've had, lapses & re-lapses. It does happen but I have improved. I've found using the money constructively helps avoid temptation. I put mine into investment funds. If I had a mortgage, car payment or student loans I'd make a principle payment there. Then the turnover drops.

It is 100% true that if you want to successfully declutter once and for all you have to figure out your relationship with your things first. Every single object in your home, whether you bought it or it was given to you, is there for a reason. The clothes you bought because you became interested in a new style, the exercise gear because you were turning over a new leaf, the stack of books you're getting to someday (right after you rewatch your favorite sitcom for the umpteenth time). And that's why people find it difficult to let things go. In addition to feeling like it's a waste of money, a lot of those items represent unfulfilled goals and ideas.

I got around this by adhering (generally) to the principle that things exist to be used. If I'm not using an item now and I can be honest with myself about how unlikely I am to use it in the future, it's ok to let it go. Also it helps to find ways of filling that need an item may satisfy through some means that doesn't require spending money. Public libraries are perfect for this. I enjoy reading, and get lots of ideas for different types of books I want to check out. But I eventually realized that even if I enjoy a given book, the odds that I will want to read it again someday aren't very high. The number of books I CHERISH and absolutely want to have a physical copy of even if I don't end up touching it for years is actually pretty low. So now I always read a new book by checking it out of the library first. This helps me save money because I don't go buy a copy of the book unless I fall in love with it (which very rarely happens), and it also helps me read more books because I have to give them back soon, rather than let them sit in a stack that will be completely unbothered if never touch it but does bother ME because it's yet another thing on my to do list.

I know this is a wild source to quote from, but there's a line of dialogue in Fight Club that has always stuck with me.
"The things you own end up owning you." One of the themes of the film is being anti-consumerism, along with the critique of toxic masculinity. The whole ending with the cult stuff and committing domestic terrorism is really just there for dramatic flair, but as time has gone on, that quote has become more and more relevant.

I won at decluttering. My house is so bare that there is an echo anytime a sound is made. I am not attached to material things. This is good practice for non attachment to people. Can’t lose what you don’t have. And everybody in our lives will abandon us, either due to circumstance or death.

You throw something away. Then you later find out you need that something for something. You go to buy it but find out this something is now more expensive and garbage quality.

My sis has this problèm and now her teen daughter too. She refuses to let go her fluffies.she has around a hundred and shes thirteen. Her room is an absolute mess. I'm sorry for them. Have tried to help but its not possible

Also the BIFL FOMO!

Your fictitious poop yourself analogy hit a little too close to home for me. 😂 I am lactose intolerant and only just recently decided to stop consuming dairy. 😬

Cara, it's great to see your channel growing! Your videos are very underrated. You will reach 1m subs in no time. Keep it up!

DEE-DER-ROE

My sister and I just planned a yard sale for later this summer - we gave ourselves a few weeks to find stuff we don't like - but once it goes in the pile it doesn't come out. So we'll only add more stuff over time

This video describes me. Even as I am watching this, i was going through my wishlist of clothes i potentially would want. But then i think about whether these cloes will still look good on my body in 5 years, if/when I evntually move to a different city with a different climate, or if it will still be fashionable in a few years time. Quitting the casual consumer cycle is really hard

(didro) 🙂

Why do I feel called out?!?! 😭

You can afford to clutter and buy a host of new stuff?
Good on you, well done.
I drive a 20 year old Landrover and don’t buy new until old wears off… except shoes, I need new shoes. Wait… 🤨

Diderot is pronounced dee-duh-ro, with the emphasis on the ‘o’ and a french R, coming from the throat 😀

That said, there’s obviously no point in decluttering if you’re just going to keep accumulating stuff again, just like there’s no point in going on a diet if you’re going to run straight back to the same foods that made you overweight in the first place once you’ve reached your goal weight.
However, life is a continuous process with different cycles, and our needs and tastes change. I did a massive decluttering when I was 20 because I lived in a tiny space, had a busy life studying and working shifts and going out, and I just needed simplicity and flexibility at the time. Once I had a steady job and I moved into a larger place with my partner, I started accumulating things again because my needs were totally different.
I’m moving in a couple of months so I will start going through my stuff again soon to see what no longer serves me - and yes, I will probably replace some things and actually spend more money now, simply because I now have the means to invest in quality and because my life isn’t as unpredictable as it was 10 years ago. The key word here is ‘intentional consumption’. If you have to do a decluttering every year of so, you’re probably doing something wrong.

I bought a £200 cat wheel and my lazy bastard of a cat refused to even look at it. But ilt so good to donate it to a cat sanctuary.

I love that this video came out the day I returned back home from university… definitely a lot of decluttering to do lol

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How about just living an organic life and not constantly looking for meaning in everything?

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The other day I heard, "Financial success doesn't depend so much on your knowledge as on your behavior." Consistency is everything.
And since I stopped spending money on things, using things I don't use but bought, and selling things I've accepted as unnecessary expenses, all it's done is make my savings accounts grow and make saving a habit. 😊

I hated how cluttered the house was when I lived with my parents. They weren't hoarders, but my step-dad made my mom do everything and she could not keep up with him and my brother, the tornado. I have developed the need to declutter EVERY time I come home with anything. Bf has learned to leave me alone for the first 20 minutes any time I come home after him because I have to put everything away before I can start to relax. Because I do it nearly daily, I never have to take an entire weekend out of my month to clean & declutter the house. I used to move to incorporate my cleaning to the closets and garage (when I've had one), now I have to remember the closets every other year and the garage at least once a year. Last year I got all the closets cleaned by deciding to paint them to match the rest of the house. I will say, it's a challenge now that I don't live alone because I live with someone that only cares about decluttering because he knows how much it bothers me and I will start cleaning "his" areas if he takes too long.

I'm decluttering as I get ready to move from an apartment with a giant walk in closet to a house built in the 50s with a teeny closet! Don't have anywhere to keep all this junk I've been storing in here for years, so most of it has to go. 80% of it isn't even clothes! For me, a walk in closet might as well have been a giant junk drawer.

Getting divorced and having to leave most of your stuff behind makes you reconsider ever having that much stuff again.... Shit can go sideways at ANY moment and I realized what is and isn't important. You have to be ready to leave your stuff behind if shit hits the fan.

Simply put: Because we keep buying random shit we don’t need 😂😂

I think that a reflective view of yourself as a consumer is the answer here. Taking some time to think about what you value and what matters most to you will put the declutter in the right context. I personally don't struggle with buying nicer stuff and feeling like my other stuff pales in comparison. I could see how that could happen though.