D&D World Heritage Posts - Dealing with the Fae

I think Fae would appreciate being outwitted.

The Monk and The Bard standing next to each other talking to the face good luck finding them as they walk away with their giant pots of gold and directions to the nearest treasure sword

So when does she want to start?

I can see the Fae tour guild collapse in the distance lol

Me: “I will give you my firstborn”

Fae: “Deal”

Me: “Ok, let’s get started!” takes off pants “You wanna do it now or find a bed first?”

The Fey: Note to self: Don't ask Paladins for their firstborn

"I want your firstborn."
"Are you proposing to me?"
Presents ring

Fey: You owe me your first born
Bard: Takes of clothes
Fey: what are you.....ohhhhh

Twist: Fey intends by the contract to BEAR the monk's first born, and now that the contract is signed she will not take no for an answer. Too bad about that oath.

I like to imagine, you can trick a Fey, but Ao HELP you if they ever find out. Promise a firstborn that doesn't exist? That's okay. They can get one from you really easily. And no, they don't do the physical part.

Wife obtained

Don't know a whole lot about how fey work since i only recently starting playing dnd in any capacity, but this seems like something a fey would absolutely love to happen to them seeing as they're typically tricksters themselves and this is an absolutely incredible trick

"when do we start?"

That would mean the first person he refers ta as "my son" (in the religious sense) is going to...?

See that's how you get a fey to break your own oath AND have your firstborn, bad idea chum..

If it was a bard instead of the monk they would be delayed while the bard tried to give his first born to the fey

Plot twist: Monk is a Harengon, and knows the right loophole to use to nail an Arch Fey. Lol.

Over two hundred year old elf: Go ahead and take him. He's an asshole. His name is Krark, and he is a Half-orc barbarian chief.

Well I’m not a paladin so if they want my first born there gonna have to make it with me 😂

My favorite “Fey takes the first born” has been and will always be “so when do we get started 👀😏”

Bargained my warlock's luck away once. Joke was on them, though. All my luck was bad before the bargain anyway. In fact, my luck actually improved after the deal.

To the fey: "By the way, i'm your father."

insert sigma male clips music and Christian Bale clip of him oohing and awwing from American Psycho. Paladin was a chad.

new method of contraception?

Call Chris the first born is long dead

This is really not a good ask unless the person already has a firstborn,

💀

And, this is how the Paranormal Activity franchise came into being. Don't cheat a demon.

[Fey]: “In order to pass this forest, your firstborn must be morriced!”
[PC]: “But I don’t have a firstborn!”
The Fey thinks for a bit, then comes to a realization
[Fey]: “Well, then you can get one!~”

Monk: you can have my firstborn. Also I took a vow of chastity.

Fey: the first one is a promise. The second is a challenge 😏

Lawful Good vs Lawful Neutral

If your word holds any weight, then just making the promise of your first born violates your vow of celibacy.

If your promise to the fey has no value then how can your vow hold any value.

Fey: To pay, you must give me your firstborn.
PC: Ok, when do we start?

Fey later dominates the monk and gets him to impregnate some villager so they can get paid...

I like the one where I think it’s the rogue who made the deal with the fey and then asks when they start😂

Wait doesn't an oath of celebicy end when you get married?

In fairness, Oath of Celibacy and Oath of Abstinence are two very different oaths... The former is against romantic attachments, the second is against, well... let's just say the monk can still have kids without breaking their vow.

Fae: That was a paladin wasn't it? I have been screwed over haven't i?
Fae eye twitch
Fae: I am getting that first born one way or the other DAMN IT.

Archduke of the Fey: (Laughing hysterically) “That’s well played, good sir.”

Smarts

Bard agrees to the firstborn - but the firstborn is the partys warlock (and they dont know, so many demons and demigods so little time)

Breed the fey, obviously😉

ok the monk was clever but faes are like death: they don't like being cheated on

Plot twist: as they getting ready to leave the Fey shows up with a baby bump. Both Paladin and Monk are confused.
Fey:" Don't think to hard on it, it is like that one episode of Futurama."
Paladin & Monk:" Future what now?"

exactly I won’t have one

My favourite one was,
"Sure, when do we start?"
Fey: "what do you mean?" (Realises, then blushes)

The delivery makes this perfect

your firstborn paladin with oath of celibacy😎
bard: ok but good luck finding which one was born first and where they are

Spontaneous pregnancy

“What’d you bargain?”
“My firstborn.”
“But, you’re gay- ooooh.”
“Yeah.”