How are household items, or "the stuff", divided during a divorce in North Carolina?

Just like everything else in family law, you and your spouse can either agree or not agree on how to divide your “stuff” in the house. If you agree, then it’s pretty simple. Put it in writing, either in a Separation Agreement or a Consent Order, and then split the stuff how you agreed to do it.

However, if you can't agree, then life can get complicated fast. There are 4 ways to resolve the division of stuff if there is no agreement.

1️⃣ Walk away from it all and start over.
2️⃣Go to mediation and try to reach an agreement there.
3️⃣ Go to binding arbitration and let someone else decide who gets what.
4️⃣ Go to Court.

There are pros and cons to each of these. We’ve covered many of them in our videos on mediation and staying out of Court if you want to look back at those.

❗ Here’s the thing with going to Court. You know it is expensive and time consuming, but what you might not know is that typically, at least in Wake County, North Carolina, the Judges won’t spend their limited time in Court addressing pots and pans and household stuff. They need to use that time to address custody, support, and larger value assets, so judges will send the issues about household goods and furnishings to a referee.

A referee is a family lawyer who has experience in listening about “the stuff,” can manage an informal hearing, and will write a detailed report about the recommended value and distribution of “the stuff” for the Judge to review.

After the referee hears what everyone has to say, they write a report for the Judge to review. If you do not agree with the recommendations, then you may ask the Judge for a hearing to challenge the recommendations and seek a different result. If you agree, then you can follow the recommendations in the report and move on.

❓ Here’s something to consider when thinking about fighting over “the stuff.” Is it financially worth it? Typically, stuff doesn’t retain value and we are looking at yard sale prices when valuing your used electronics, tools, kitchen items, etc. Do you have enough stuff that it’s a smart financial decision to spend money on mediation, arbitration, or Court? Maybe you do. Or maybe you have some rare collectibles that both of you want. In many cases, it may make sense to fight over these things.

We encourage our clients not to think emotionally when dividing stuff. There’s not much anymore that we can’t duplicate or recreate or replace.

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TIP: If the piece of marital property you want simply can’t be duplicated, recreated, or replaced, then I highly recommend being sure you take it with you when you separate or put it away at work or a friend’s house if you haven’t separated yet. I can’t tell you the number of times a baby book or coin collection has gone missing after separation or someone has destroyed marital property out of spite.
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If you have questions about how to divide your stuff or how to get your share of “the stuff” if you’ve already separated, please give us a call. It can get complicated really fast, and you need help if you and your spouse can’t agree.

We are located in Cary, North Carolina, but we work in all the surrounding cities, including Raleigh, Chapel Hill, Morrisville, Apex, Wake Forest, Durham, and more!

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Get FREE resources about divorce in North Carolina: https://www.trianglesmartdivorce.com/free-resources/

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Phone: 919-925-5995

Website: https://www.trianglesmartdivorce.com/

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