The cost of moving to New York City to pursue your dreams. An *honest* vlog.

Hi friends! Hope you enjoy this one 💘 For a lot of us who moved to NYC, it's not only about creating a better life for ourselves but also for our families too. What does 'living the NYC dream' mean to you?

I recently moved to Copenhagen from Istanbul for a career opportunity at the age of 29. Although I left my parents' house when i left for uni and lived away for the last 10 years, I was always visiting once a month. Sometimes more frequent, sometimes less. and I have a LOT of friends in Istanbul too. Even though i was living alone for the last 3 years, I was never alone for a long time in my house. Now stepping out of this comfort zone is really interesting to me. I've always been a quite adaptive person, and i act like 'No pain rockky!!' most of the time, but i guess sometimes its also necessary to embrace that vulnerability. I'm getting to now this version of myself. the hardest part is trying to find a place for yourself in the social setting I guess. anyways, it's always nice to see what youre experiencing is so common regardless of age, location or any other feature. Either way lets not forget to pat ourselves in the back and celebrate every little accomplishment!

I love your videos & appreciate your vulnerability. Your videos always ground me and remind me just how human my own experience is when it doesn’t feel like it. Seeing you & relating to you. Hope you figure out what it all means to you🤍

I’ve been with my long distance partner for 2 years. He always said he would move to CA to be with me because I was afraid of losing my stable and well paying job. On my last trip, I realized I actually want to take the leap and move there. I feel as though I’ve outgrown my life here. All of my girlfriends are now becoming moms and I really feel it’s time for me to grow up too. I am sooo scared. Of quitting a stable job, of all the financial responsibilities this move will cost me, and the fact I’m gonna miss my mom. I’ve been living in the comfort of parents’ bubble and I feel it’s time to make a life for myself. I’m in my early 30’s and culturally kids don’t leave unless they’re married. I had planned on taking over financially for them, but I feel as though I need to do this for myself. I can always go home right? But seeing this video made me realize that I will be fine starting a new life so far from home. You did it for 8 years, I can do it too. I’m sure it’s not easy, but sometimes we have to branch out into this world.

Thanks for sharing a part of your life and your thoughts! There's no pressure to share anything you're not comfortable with, and I'm happy you got to spend some time with your mom.

❤️

I wish I can just move away but the guilt of leaving my parents just kills me, sigh.

You do you!

As the parent of two grown children, they were raised with love and wings. My daughter is across the country, and is thriving. Everyone is. Text, call, send a Mother’s Day card. No regrets, just love in the heart (for all). 🎉

Chels, amazing video this week. My mom died when I was 14 so i can relate to losing a parent. Thank you for sharing your life with us. ❤ from Houston, Texas

As a Mom with adult children I am ok wherever they want to move but I do often think of things I wish I could do with my daughter who has moved a distance away but since we live so far away its not as easy. As an adult daughter who now has a senior Mom with health issues living long distance.... It's incredibly hard and I struggle everyday with guilt for not being there to help her handle things she needs help handling and anxiety over the fact that I'm so far away if something happens to her. I wish I could convince her to move back to my state and to live with me but I haven't had much success with that.

Great video Chelsea ❤

To give you hope: I’m a west coaster who left home at 18 to live on the east coast and lived there 18 years. I came back west for work a few years ago and now my mom lives with me (in PDX Oregon of all things) so spread your wings…. You may circle back and family will be there

i'm 42! i leave 12km from my mum! not so far. but with our rotine, work and school i don't see her every day. I start to go lunch with her in the midle of the week, every week and if not every weekends, at least, every too wekeends we (me, my husband and my son) go to her house and stay with her all day. I really feel that i really need to be with my mum as much as i can! because she will not last forever.

Honestly I am on the opposite side of the spectrum - meaning that I live within walking distance with my family... and honestly I think that sometimes it is not necessarily about the distance. It is about people about that mutual willing to stay in touch... Where's a will there's a way, right? But we all are different. You do you. (And I think that you do it absolutely great!) (Also... how weird is it that I cheered the moment I heard that your friend came visit from Czech Rep.- the country I am from... Not at all, right?! :D :D Yaay.)

❤

Doughlores

I was surprised that you had a male and female cat that old that hadn’t been fixed yet. My cat was spayed at 4 months. our previous cat was pregnant at six months.
Glad they’re both good now though 😊 no kitty surprises

Chelsea! I finally found the courage to start my own vlog channel inspired by you after losing my job. Thank you for sharing your life!

Thank you for sharing this. It’s so nice to hear someone who understands. I moved to NYC a few months ago and left my entire (large) family behind in Louisiana. It’s the hardest part. I love New York and needed to be somewhere new, but I always say I wish I could pack my family up and bring them here or pick New York up and bring it down there. I don’t truly think we get to have it all and it’s such a hard sacrifice to come to terms with. I think you just do the best you can to have it all in tiny pieces…. And everything is only as permanent as you want it to be

Keep on living your version of the American 🇺🇸 Dream. I did everything the “wrong way.” My family wrote me off, as a loser. My wife, and I had a baby when she was 19 and I was 20. I did something no one on my side of the family had ever done. At age 24, with a college degree in hand, I shipped off to attend Marine Corps Officer Candidates School in Quantico, Virginia. By age 28, we had purchased our first home, built from the ground up. We had already lived 3 years overseas, Okinawa, Japan. Had visited Korea, Tokyo, Hawaii. We have since lived in Mechanicsburg, PA, another 3 years on Okinawa.

I worked for Uncle Jeff Bezos in Seattle, in a beautiful apartment in Lower Queen Anne with a view of Puget Sound. I was a geographical bachelor while my wife lived at our primary home (our fourth we have owned since I was 24) in Virginia. We bought another property in our home town to be closer to our aging mothers, in West Texas when COVID raged in 2020. It’s a beautiful place, we still have it. Interestingly, our families didn’t embrace us when we began spending more time with them.

My wife, and I, are empty nesters now. Our daughter is a Penn State grad, single and building her own life. Our son, born on Okinawa, is a first year law student at Michigan Law School. After graduating VCU a few years ago, our son lived for a year, in NYC. This was pre-COVID. He still visits often, has lots of friends there. All we want for our children is to be healthy, good citizens, self reliant and as happy as possible. To enjoy the journey while always being grateful for the blessings Our Creator, has given us

The Road Not Taken

BY ROBERT FROST
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

I lived away for ten years but saw everyone regularly. You do see your parents get to an age where they are older. And now being 42 career isn’t the main focus. I think more of lifestyle is the driving force and balance. You don’t give up on dreams but some things just are not as important anymore.

So you're the lonely cat lady Vance speaks of.

Hi Chelsea, it is so nice and comforting to watch your videos. You and I live so similar lives, except I live in Prague, Czech Rep. and you live in NYC. I also live alone. I also live very far from my family. You even have almost the same laptop desk and furniture :-). So nice, thank you for your content.

I'm going to be honest, I stayed in San Diego when my family moved to Detroit when I was 22. It didn't bother me until my Mom got older and then I too cried after I dropped her off at the airport...my kids were shocked as I never cried! Now that they are older and on their own they get it.

Your video couldn't have come at a better time. I'm feeling the exact way, and I'm only turning 26. Being Asian just amplifies it even more.

I recently had to move a bit farther away from family and I often find myself feeling lots of guilt if I feel like I don't spend enough time with them.

Traveling to NYC is an ultimate dream of mine. I'm also living in the big city where I'm from, kinda like our own NYC, and what I also realized from your video is that sometimes, we forget that the biggest aspects of our lives (like where we live) might very well be someone else's dream, and it's so easy to lose sight of how far we've gotten when you've become so used to everything.

Realizing that somehow eases the guilt, I guess.

Also, little side note, LOVE the editing style on this video. Not sure if you've changed anything, or if I've missed a couple of your past videos, but I super love your videos like this when you throw in more of where your current headspace is at (feelings, realizations, etc.) in your normal day-to-day vlogs.

Keep doing what you're doing.

All I can say is I’d be down to watch your channel based in Oregon !

youre right about the sourdough starter. I never weigh anything until I make the actual bread. I just make sure the starter is the same consistency of pancake mix!

Hi Chelsea, the answer to this question will look different as your Mom gets older. I was 30 years old when I moved from the States to England, and at the time my Mom was age 50 and in good health and she really enjoyed visiting England. But as the years went by, her health declined and it was a constant source of sadness to me that she was alone and I could only get over to see her once a year because it was expensive and I now had young children. My brother lived a 2 hour drive from her, but he wasn't that great about visiting her. Mom finally stopped coming to visit us because it was too physically hard for her. She passed at the age of 79 and I grieved so hard for the lost time with her. But would I do anything differently? It's such a hard question because I'm so happy where I live.

I only live a 40 min drive from my parents and still always feel like there isn't enough time and I can't quite strike the balance of being career-focussed or family-focussed. I think it might be universal! Regardless, I'm sure your family are sismmply happy seeing you thriving!

Your worries about family and all the questions you asked were so relatable. I have a long-distance relationship with my family, since I'm 18 just like you and from last year I committed to visit much more often. I understand it's money, but it's worth spending it, as time never comes back. + your mum coming to visit some other time, I'm sure she enjoys living a bit of your NY life with you! <3

I’m in the opposite position. I’m 34 moved back home, never really been away from family but have the incredible urge to move to a different province (from Canada here). At a young age I was in active addiction, got sober and decided to pursue my passion in psychology addiction to help others. I’m finishing my masters in it now. But always wanted the life of living in British Columbia and following my passion there. The trouble is the thought of leaving my family.
To be honest this video made me realize that everyone (reaffirming this really) has their own journey. And I still have no idea what I want to do, move or stay with family.
This vlog made me feel less “behind” in life, since everyone has their own story💕

Just a suggestion for the sauce! Get an immersion blender. It will change your life.

I'm a little bit older than you and I have a four year old and I want him to feel set up and supported to follow his passions and find himself when he's older. We only get one life to live and in the grand scheme of things there's a small window of opportunity to really get to explore and grow into yourself and it would break my heart to find out he wasted chances just to be home around me.

I moved away from home at the age of 18. I am now 44. My family is only two hours away and I see them often. So I can only imagine how you feel. The one thing that I’ve realized in my time away is that my family is my home. Regardless of where I live. However, my dad is aging and I try to make the most out of every opportunity to go see him. The only thing that you cannot buy back is time.❤

I have brother and sister cats and it was so stressful waiting for their neuter appt lol. My boy was fine without a cone. However I did get some infant onesies for my girl bc she was miserable in the cone. They do make surgical suits too, but I got mine last minute 😬

Honestly Chelsea, I live vicariously through you and wondered whether if I lived your life I would have experienced more so a vice versa. I feel like this video showed me there are many ways to live life and that is okay, all of it is okay. Either direction. Thank you for your content, it makes us feel not alone and not feel left out especially this vlog. Thank you for showing vulnerability. That’s why makes your channel so special💕

I used to live in NYC, and that was far from my family…but now I’m even further in Germany!! 😢

I miss NYC every single day! I also used to live in Queens, so your videos are like a warm cup of tea on a cold day for me. I miss it SO much. I watched an older video of yours and about lost my mind when you got “the taco truck”. ❤

Living abroad is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Being this far away, and in a place where you really don’t fit, the culture is not your own, and the language is difficult….it’s all just incredibly hard. I’m fortunate and still see my parents at least once a year, but I make sure it happens. While this has been hard, it’s also been an excellent life lesson in so many ways. I’m a better human because of it.

I’m ready to come back though and be closer to everyone.

So nice you had quality time with your mom and a nice visit with your friends. I think quantity is not more important than Quality time with our loved ones that’s what’s more important really 🙂 It is understandable about the sourdough starter dying it is a very busy time with our family visiting I hope the next batch works I will give a try too hehe .. I bake bread often but with yeast but I love sourdough bread and it is better for our guts. Your kitties care so cute and happy your 😢a very good mom ☺️🐱🐱😻😍

so much of this resonated with me. I spent most of my 20s (8 years) in the military. For a Mexican family, me leaving was abrupt and an adjustment. So after getting out and coming back to CA, it was an adjustment for me. it has only become increasingly apparent how much i missed and i wonder if i even belong in my family anymore. some days, i think it would just be easier if i left entirely.

but honestly, as i'm getting older (37 now) i am learning the hard way connections are the only thing that matters and i'm working on just spending time when i can and being present. easier said than done. i see you.

Hey girly - super quick one! Olive oil shouldn't be fried because it's v damaging & a carcinogen (it can't handle heat!) Hopefully you see this, because it's important! add oil at serving for the same flavour! Sending good vibes x

My mom and i make the same crackers with cream cheese and hot jam 🤤so tasty! it reminded me of my momma 💕 long distance for us too. Great video Chelsea

Ah, please don’t feel bad about the soughdough starter. Life happens. This vlog was really good though, got me thinking about what my family means to me. Your mom is gorgeous btw!

I’m in the exact same spot but from the other side where I’ve always wondered if I should’ve/could’ve gone on my own and sacrificed time with family but the pull to stay was stronger. So you are not alone at all and I really related to this from the other side and found it comforting. Just goes to show struggles and feelings like this are universal!

I lived in NYC from 26 to 42, and only moved out after my girlfriend "strongly requested" that we get married, have kids, and she be allowed to quit her job and have babies. Your experience is very typical of me and most of my friends in the city. I miss the freedom of single life in the city but at the same time, love the way life has taken me. The "dreams" I had changed as I grew older and having kids (which was one thing I did not want) sort of altered my priorities, particularly in the work/life balance aspect.

One note: I also had dreams of leaving my corporate job and being an artist (writer) and have now resigned myself to being a corporate attorney until the day I retire. This too is very common among my friends (particularly the attorneys).

I really enjoyed hearing these honest thoughts on being away from home. Im planning to move over an hour from my family. An hour is nothing compared to moving states but its hard either way. I just keep telling myself this is what I want to do and I dont want to have regrets because we only get one life to live. Thank god we have facetime in this day and age

Chelsea, you need to get one of the boxes that hides your power strip and cords for your kitchen counter. It is making me nervous with the liquids so close. LOL

i feel this in my soul. I'm 49 and have lived all over currently in VA and all of my family is in MT and WA I always feel like a black sheep and now as we all are getting older I realize how much Ive missed connection wise like should I just move so I can rebuild or have a relationship that is meaningful and present