the downfall of traditional relationships.

Alice you can dance around it all you like but you cannot replace a childs father

There is no future in a country where women have less than 2.1 children. Literally a country in a death spiral after 30 years of below 2.0. See Japan for details. Western civilisation is deciding to erase itself.

Disney didn't codify virginality. It merely expressed what people expected during the period which Disney became popular. This model also puts pressure on young men to behave in the chivalrous mode,to be the,"nice guy," which reflects the archetype of which "Prince Charming" represents. Many women say that this overly refined man,devoid of rough edges,is too "Vanilla."
This is the problem inherent in conforming men to women's expectations.
I personally refuse to even play that game. All of the things in my life which I might think could be used to attract women are things I value for other reasons,such as learning to play guitar,or riding a Harley or driving a BMW or Corvette. I like these things for myself. They reflect my own independence, how I enjoy freedom. These things have all been advertised to men as things to create attraction (which they don't,really).
Don't let society dictate the terms of your happiness, whether you are a man or a woman

I rarely comment. But this video essay is timely (for me). What are your personal thoughts--as a thinker--on adopting a life of chastity for art (poetry, writing, reading, reflecting, and thinking) and for the pursuit of the life of the mind?

Despite considering myself as having romantic tendencies (maybe flaws), I'm a gay polyamorous man and I've been intentionally single for a couple years now. It's more important to have close friends and found family. Close friendship is an issue for all men, I think, but it's survival for queer folks. I like to think that in the gay community we know we have to take care of each other because in many cases there's nowhere else to go.

My mindset is to ditch the idea of attachment to an individual and instead commit to community. As a bonus it's harder to imagine your community abandoning you, especially if others share this ethos. I live in a housing co-op and intentional community living is just great. I don't really ever want my own place ever again. But this still entails privilege, especially if urban vs rural.

Despite being intentionally single, I am still a sexual creature. I actually don't hook up, but I have consensually intimate friendships, a couple of which are somewhat romantic, and I think my ideal is to have these closer to home, in super local community. I'm kinda favoring not living with romantic partners for a while, though. When I'm older it might make more sense.

In spiritual circles sexuality is seen as a creative force - not only to make babies but also to be creative in other aspects of your life

I'm aromantic and proud. I hate the idea of having to be around the same person every single day. eww.

Amen! Let it rise....most men only seem to be looking for sex any way! Show God some love, give your body a break from fornicating and use it for another purpose that might be worth more than wet panties❤

I realize you didn't mean it so, but your message is misandrous. You probably meant to address a subset of men reluctant to housework, but when you said "things men won't do" instead, it's cruel, disrespectful, and untrue. It doesn't matter how many men do them nearly as much as how badly society, especially female representatives of society, disregard them. They insist on speaking to the mother, even when she admittedly delegates all rearing responsibilities to the husband. I'm not here to list all the other examples, but the theme persists. I don't know all the relevant statistics. That's my being honest, which is frankly superlative to the majority, of all peoples, who pretend otherwise. Statistics is a hard science and the hard data are readily accessible to only a very few. What I do know is that I heard of the measurable rise in masculine celibacy at least a decade earlier than the rise in feminine celibacy. I sure hope celibate women and men share their reasons with each other constructively. Otherwise, relevant knowledge humanity needs will get lost. Those who imagine it bear opinions. Those who do it bear knowledge.

good video I am not interested in relationship stuff gonna get rich bang multiple chicks and enjoy my life to the fullest

Do you really think capitalism needs families to survive? If it was the case in my opinion feminism wouldn't thrive in the most advanced capitalist societies where birth control, good healthcare system and mecanisation of reproductive labor is the material ground of women's liberation. Capitalism needs cheep and competent workers. The sucess of women in the educational system provides for this, no matter the family structure it seems.
What was true during the colonial era of globalisation (of market economy) no longer seems relevent today.

Again, do a survey among women over 50 who never married or had children, how many have regretted their life choices. Would it be less than 50%? In fact, we can do that a lot in the future as by 2040 like 50% of women are expected to be single and childess.

"There is a community organized daycare - therefore the nuclear family isn't necessary."
I'm sorry, but this is just unbelievably stupid.

Ok, do leftists seriously believe that non-Western people didn't have families before colonization, like how stupid can you get? Every group lives in some kind of family, maybe extended families and not the nuclear families, even Western people lived in those before the industrial revolution. Anyway, I don't get the hate. Family is a good thing to have.

I love the way you say “thing” 🥰

Sex is actually dirty and sinful, isn't it? Sex is for procreation, not recreation, and it's always done with dirty body fluids with awful smells.

I have a best friend since high school and we both are straight men and have a very strong friendship. People always make jokes about me and him being gay or about how we live in a gay relationship without sex (it bothers me a lot) and this always made us think about how people are not familiar with a very intimate friendship among two men without thinking there is not romantic/sexual interest. I really love him and it's very clear for me that it is different love I would feel for a partner in a romantic relationship. The overvaluation of romantic love/relationships does not allow people to realize that all of our relationships with people occupies different places in our lives. I would love be in a romantic relationship with a girl, but I recognize that our friendship is strong and irreplaceable.

I'm a 65 year old male, and I just never got around to being married. I'm starting to think of myself as a monk. I'd like to think that I would treat a woman well if I got married, but I'm pretty closed, emotionally.

I do believe it was Feminism's stated objective to target and dismantle the nuclear family. Occult Feminism. Is that your goal?

I believe balance is most important of all things. In these discussions we often focus on the extremes. It shouldn’t be one or the other. I also understand I’m privileged to have grown up in a loving household and grew up first hand experiencing a loving marriage that though with its faults as all have, has persevered and is still happy and strong 25 years later. I think that the issue with a lot of people marriages is not having experienced that. People make bad partner choices for the wrong reasons and/or don’t often know what to really look for and detect in a partner. That saying, I don’t think the entirety of the conservative view to stick a marriage out is bad. Obviously if you’re in an abusive relationship you should definitely leave. But minor disagreements or things that can be worked out by seeking professional help don’t need to destroy a potentially happy family and relationship. Men should help more and be there emotionally in relationships, how that is lost in translation I genuinely don’t understand. This isn’t the 1950s. Relationships take long and hard grueling work. It’s not easy. I am 24 and in a 3 yr serious relationship discussing marriage soon, I can’t give advice on how to find a partner cause for me it just kinda happened but good love is out there and still a very real thing. You’re prob just not going to find them on dating apps. Get out there, be independent, build you, surround yourself with motivated likeminded people and you will find a partner.

Saying capitalism 'needs the family to survive' is to pretend that family didn't exist before and "after" capitalism.

The family existed under feudalism and exists in socialist states. The only time where the family "didn't exist" was during pre-agricultural societies, i.e. tribes. But in that case, the tribe was limited to maybe a couple hundred people who were all likely related, i.e. a family 😅

Career is not the epitome of our potential as human beings. We work to live, and not the other way around.

No. Non- monogamy and sexual exploration are bourgeois, because wealthy people do not need to rely on the strength of their familial bonds to get by in life. The foundation of capitalism was the enslavement of black people, and we, as a population, traditionally regard our familial bonds as well as our ancestors ( and the process by which this emerges and renews itself) as sacred.
You perfectly demonstrate how feminist theory is an ethnocentric musing of bourgeois, western women. Brava. 👍🏾

Today, people are manipulated through mental constructs so we should be careful what narrative we subscribe to. The fact is that the most extensive and legitimate studies on happiness and longevity in history have shown that social health - such as having a partner, raising children (despite the challenges), and fostering meaningful relationships—forms the foundation of a fulfilling life.

I realise that forming committed relationships today is more challenging than ever but that doesn't mean that we should give up and label it as voluntary singlehood.

The problem with feminism is that it stopped working for women who wanted to have kids and nowadays it mostly supports women who don’t want relationships or kids in their lives.

We need to remember that women have different stages in their lives and we need support when we’re single but also when we’re married and have kids

From my point of view, there is nothing wrong with picking either path: celibacy or non celibacy. However both have their challenges

Just like not all married women are unhappy, not all single women are unfulfilled. Single and childless women could be prone to narcissistic ways of living and married women could become less self centered, so both have to balance to stay healthy

Wait...why is George Michael hating on you?

Young men are deserting dating and relationships with females because

1 the culture of “women don’t need men”, “men are dead” etc
2. abortion denying paternal rights
3. female predatory divorce and family courts
4. female infidelity
5. female promiscuity
6. female paternity fraud

Young Gen Z men have woken up to this and have wisely chosen to walk away from dating and marriage

I think one of the right questions to ask is also: Why and how have "conservative" values and institutions evolved? Otherwise the lazy answer to it is a nebulous "they" typical of conspiracy theorists. I think all things that exist deserve a measure of respect and we must do our due diligence to explore their origin, history and evolution. While they (nothing) is absolute, they exist for some reason. Otherwise the "experimentation" might just turn futile and wasteful.

I'm 27, a guy, and I've never had a relationship or even held hands or kissed. I'm feeling pretty hopeless about it, and even though I feel like I have a lot of love to give and would love the idea of taking care of and loving someone, I'm pretty broken too and my life isn't great. I don't care if I never have sex, but it does bother me the thought that I may never be loved.

Obviously the short video format requires you to make some wild generalizations. Nonetheless your characterization of late capitalist post-Christian bourgeoisie culture as ‘traditional’ goes beyond that. The collectives you describe are more traditional and can be found around the world in multiple rural communities. The notion of Mr and Mrs Right finding joint bliss in a happily ever after is only traditional if one adopts the odd notion that the world popped into existence around 1900 and Disney are some ancient biblical power. I would suggest reading up on anthropology of relationships in other societies. While you’re at it, there are plenty of fascinating works on the impact of urbanization on society and relationships, much of it in French originally.

Of course the romantic imperative only affects women. Men only benefit from monogamous families meant to last forever, right?

when I was in grade 4 I wanted to have a female friend. when I was in grade 5 I wanted to have a female friend. when I was in grade 6,7,8,9, and 10 I wanted to have a female friend.

I put 2 and 2 together and realized the reason why I had no female attention grades 7 to 11 is cuz of that rumor my best friend made in grade 7. 11 year old me didn’t deny it despite it not being true cuz I had no idea girls were shallow. By the time Women started being attracted to me I already loved opiates and call of duty and quit caring about them.

don’t even master bait either cuz I think thats loser behaviour. I just love smoking and playing call of duty and pills.

Thank you for the lecture

One of my fav of yours!

Romantic relationships are actually a downgrade compared to platonic relationships. People are usually closer to their platonic best friend than they are to their romantic partner. Platonic love and relationships are a good thing, while romantic love and relationships are a bad thing. Romance has caused so a lot of problems in this world.


Romantic relationships end more frequently than platonic ones. Romantic relationships have a whole set of problems that platonic one's don't. Like cheating, getting bored with a partner, losing interest and so on.


Women are significantly less likely to be romantically attracted to their male friends. There's a reason why most women won't date any of their male friends (especially their male best friends.) They don't want to ruin their perfectly good friendship with them by adding something ridiculous like romance into it. Romance ruins everything.


Platonic best friends can love each other more than romantic couples love each other. A woman can love her platonic best friend more than her boyfriend/husband. Platonic love is real, while romantic love is fake. Platonic relationships are way healthier than romantic relationships are.

Whilst I consider myself strongly left wing, progressive and thus an advocate for feminism, I’m also a deeply spiritual person.
I understand many points you’re speaking on and agree with them. But as you say, I think there must be a lot of nuance when speaking and questioning on this topic.
The relationships we have, when approached consciously, reflectively and introspectively carry deep spiritual significance in our lives – I believe.
Also, I think this video is more relatable for the global north/the west as opposed to other parts of the world.

I disagree with the relationship you suggest between capitalism and the family. To begin with, the concept of the family unit or family nucleus is very old. Aristotle considered the family to be a fundamental element of society. And well, being from Chile, a country where one of the most horrendous models of capitalism was implemented, I believe that for capitalism to work, the opposite is needed, the destruction of the family union, since a united family constitutes a more united community. , who care about each other, a strong family becomes a strong community, and strong communities form healthy and less individualistic societies. Individualism is the key to making capitalism work, total detachment from your family, nation and even self-identity.

I'm a big fan of relationship anarchy and/or poly variations! If you're not a fan of traditional relationship values, feel too stressed out to be someone's monogamous full-time partner or have needs a single potential partner cannot fulfill it might be worth looking into. Only requirement is being good at scheduling lol
I was also perpetually stuck breaking up very soon or just not even looking because I was too busy but now I have a partner who was more than happy to tailor our relationship exactly to our needs without heteronormative requirements pulling us down and when we have a new need we discuss it and solve it. I've never even considered having a fight about somethign, it's just so comfortable :D

What if instead of trying to abandon unfair paradigms, we engaged with them, separated the good from the bad, and compared them to a lived experience? In other words, compromise ideals for happiness but stay honest.

Marriage was created by straight men to control their legacy, bloodlines, female sexuality which was supported by the church.

The Prince Charming model is also pretty problematic. As a man, I don't think many of us can live up to that.

1 minute into the video you know there is no value in it.

See the celibacy issue you are talking is very much of a perspective which doesn't include the psyche of a human and how it works so now as a man i know what it does to me and i don't know what it does to others so i am being sorry for not knowing that so as my experience with the sexual desire i feel the longer i stayed away from it the stronger i have actually survived today's expectations to be something in real life so i feel i accept everyone having sex but i feel as a human i don't give something or someone enough respect as i do when it is something pure so in my culture marriage is pure in a sense but still i am very critical but i kind of support it cause thinking it as pure and as per dedination of my culture of tantra of the relationship being like a magnet but still having individuality has actually surprised me a lot and i thought it was very good so i felt also on the statement that sexual desire or any form of attraction is not bad but at a certain age you have to manage it or trancend it to other activities which you will miss in your young life that you will regret later in your life cause you missed them what others did so i feel trying to have celibacy till marriage is inherently not bad if someone doesn't do that just we need to tell them that it's your choice to do it but i feel for those who believe it, i feel it's a good thing to be in celibacy cause in my culture many people who follow celibacy have an arranged marriage so that both can teach each other about their sex and other things to be practical and also by having celibacy and thinking that attraction and sexual attraction is good like an energy between you i feel you will indeed make many friends even who are girls because i have seen it in my behaviour that wherever i am out of my sexual attraction like not in an oppression way but to channel it i made an incredible talking to women and i even explored the sexual matters and jokes in it with more ease and control 😅😅😅 i hope you understand they don't know actually the real defination of tantra i actually recommend you to read that philosophy because it's not at all to only one religion and anyone can read it and along with it basic hindu ideology like from surface then actually you will understand from the point which i am coming from 😅😅

Leftists and progressives are never beating the allegations that they don't understand their opponents.

Implying the conservative thought to be one of a troglodyte is insane business, and this comes from a liberal himself.

Also, the experiment you talk about? Its India's joint family system, and that too, on a massively inefficient way. It will suffer the same fate, since it has the same faults too.

Thank you

Why does Alice hate children lol

I guarantee that Alice only dates the most toxic and patriarchal men. It’s always the nuts anti-family, anti-capitalist quasi-anarchists that end up with a chino-wearing, Ivy League private equity analyst as a boyfriend