How to torture your party

Wait, we're not using DnDbeyond? Yeah!!! How that joke age poorly.

DM grabs guitar: Oh god
DM grabs capo: OH GOD
DM puts capo on 2nd fret:😨😨

If you offend the DMs prep and the time spent painting minis prepare to fight the full force of that entity

v

As a Ranger main who loves using encumbrance (including coin weight), survival and tracking rules and weapon and armour degradation, I feel personally called out in a way that I am stunned by.

Love the costume

Most disappointing dragon hoard. Ever.

what's wrong with hoard of the dragon queen?

I like how you're dressed as Dungeon Master from the TV show Dungeons and Dragons. I especially like how he is called "Dungeon Master" which insinuates that it's his actual name and not some title like "The Dungeon Master".

I would unironically enjoy a full encumbrance, survival-focused campaign.

Illusions... illusions is how you torture your party.

The zombies thing is just how to torture yourself

what's wrong with hoard of the dragon queen?

omg is that calamitas

Half of these are just my ordinary game

so you're just playing 1e

I've had a DM force stat rolls in a pretty similar fashion. No subs, top down, 3 d6. If you rolled a 3 for dex, you got a 3 for dex.
I did not play a second session.

I love how he cosplayed as the dungeon master from the animated series.

Yeah I would just get up and leave. The DM is supposed to run the game not act like a clown.

What's wrong with hoard of the dragon Queen?

Gona ruin this even 2000 comments. I like paper. Cry.

Liked and saved for the post credits bit alone, absolute gold!

Okay weapon durability sounds kinda fun. Like maybe the Rogue could use Sleight of Hand to swap out a guard's sword with a sword that's nearly broken. The Artificer could have a homebrew ability that allows them to repair the party's weapons and armor. The Barbarian could use a broken club as a makeshift shank. You could repurpose a broken sword or even a quarterstaff to make a flail. You could target the boss battle's super powerful weapon with a super powerful spell, making them helpless and allowing your party to rush them. You could have a quest where the party needs to find the broken pieces of Zariel's sword, so they can get her help in defeating the Demon Lord.

thanks for this. my long-time DM has been teaching me to dm, and i did my first one-shot test session. they thought i was gonna be super mean and unforgiving, but they said i was just too nice! thanks for the lessons in this video

Is that the Dungeon Master outfit from the 80's cartoon?

BRING HIM BACK
BRING HIM BACK
BRING HIM BACK
BRING HIM BACK
BRING HIM BACK
BRING HIM BACK
BRING HIM BACK

Really raiding the dragon’s medicine cabinet and his handkerchief at the end there.

I am very strongely resisting the urge to ask my players to play in a campaign where I do all of this and see how long they can last

enough of true strike, time for false strike

Naah, best way to torture them is to prevent them to doing what they want, like have no roleplay or never describe where they at and just say "itsa room/open space"

I love revisiting this because of its absurdity.

Also, I could never play at the table of a DM like this lol

Alt title: how to avoid being DM in the future

"Also, we're not going to use D&D Beyond"

"WHYYYYYYY???"

Obligatory r/agedlikemilk

As someone who's only real exposure to DnD is that I watched the Honor Among Thieves movie once, I'm just gonna nod my head and pretend I know what any of this means.

"Why did I even take the Keen Mind feat?"
"Hey now, why do you think you can find your way out of the dungeon so easily?"

uh oh. it's me

We use coin weight and encumbrance. Also we have a bag of holding but big stuff doesn't magically fit. The size needs to be reasonable.

the dndc dm costume kicks ass

“Wait? They’re in order?!”

lingering injuries seem fun for story imo

Spell scroll of true strike is the best prank for D&D I've heard yet.

It's funny to me that there's no right way to leave a dungeon here

"How to torture yourself as the DM"

Gotta love the 80’s cartoon DM costume

These were great

i have a DM that has a crit table with lingering effects, losing an eye, or a limb are pretty common, but the annoying ones are the instant death ones. instant death, no rolls, just dead. you can mitigate the instant death on some damage types by wearing a helmet, can't wear the only armour in the game with a canonical helmet (full plate) well don't worry you can buy a helmet, but you have to specify that you bought a helmet and he won't tell you in advance that you CAN buy helmets.

that's how one of my characters died. had some other characters lose limbs (though to be fair, he does allow you to put a limb back on by putting it in place a pouring a healing potion on it)

No. Bad Sadist. Stop torturing your co-storytellers. I will put you in the Bad DM Corner.