Story Time I left my job to be a full-time artist ...and failed (webcomics & illustration)

Very brave!

Your problem: You can't stick with it. I'm no artist, but you seem very talented, and I think many people told you so. But you have to finish your work. If I got it right, you started two webtoons, but didn't finish one. Now you work on the third one. You have to finish your work, you have to keep working. You have to find readers like I did. I'm an author, and I can tell you how and why I made it: because I kept writing, I finished my books, I published them, I wrote the next one. I just kept going. That's it. You will make it if you keep going, but it can take you months until you earn something and years (!!) until you make good money.

I don’t think failure exists tbh. You just learned a way things won’t work. Now just keep trying so you can find the way that things will work. Bc they will.

This has been soooooo healing to listen to! I first started trying to do my own thing in 2020 and had very similar doubts, always running back to a job and trying again. I can understand the struggle so I am routing for you! You've got this, believe in yourself and your talent and know you have your own back!

Thanks for sharing your story, this was really interesting to listen to. I actually work in Software development but quite recently came out of a 6 month redundancy and a lot of the stuff you mentioned about the panic setting in and self doubt resonated with me. I want to start working on some of my own projects in my spare time too but its a real challenge when you get home from work and your tired. Anyhow I really hope you get to create more art and can get work as an artist. I look forward to hearing about your journey and I'll be rooting for you. 🙌

hey thanks for making this. i just graduated and have been sitting at home with no goal or path in mind since i'm also uninterested in further pursuing my major⁠. i find myself feeling a deep sense of purposelessness due to the lack of direction and similar pressures from family. either way, i know i want to become independent, and i need to take a step for that to happen and just figure it out from there. hearing about your good job experiences was sweet and i appreciate you recounting this time in your life :)

I had a really good solo career as an artist over the last 20 years. But the past few have been getting very bad financially. I've had almost zero income this year and am lucky to have savings. There is a project on the horizon. And I have been applying to Jobs. Even getting to 3rd and 4th round interviews. I feel I don't even know how to Market anymore as the feeling I had about our city and the cultural vibe is so unclear now. There used to be reliable industries you could work with. Magazines hired a lot of editorial illustration, advertising paid pretty well. But gradually those faded. Some people still do ok in those areas, but some do so blindly making propaganda for bad people and they're convinced you're the bad person if you show the line between what they do and warmongering for example. You'll have someone thinking they're all about helping the climate, while helping war hawks. But they're morally superior to you because they put various trendy flags on things like magical talismans to "show" how "good" they are. This is all sad though as my own daughter wanted to be an artist like me and I felt like weeping as it felt like the industry was collapsing.

Gosh dang. I'm 30 minutes in and I am hanging onto your words.. a lot of the highlights you share ring similar. I won't bit by bit compare... but I was always praised for my art as a child, and as a late diagnosed ADHD a lot of insecurity and overthinking has lived in me. Always loved to create, loved animation. But I've struggled a lot, and going for art felt like an impossibility to live on given the human being (creature?) that I was. I went for anything else, had over 20 different jobs. As a caregiver, I hurt myself during the pandemic and post-pan, I went from working 100+ hours a week to barely being able to deal with 30. More drama, mental health, scary stuff- I know we all went through our own thing. I left my most recent job six months ago with huge burnout. with the support of my partner, and as we speak, I am at the very beginning of an illustration-as-earning-a-living journey. I trust that I want it, and am hopeful.. but damn is it scary. I have little savings. 😅 But I'm very grateful to have this time to figure things out.

Do you have an onlyfans?

It's ok to fail. I think it's very mature to recognise that, failing means you tried and it didn't work, which is normal. Sometimes we even simply realise that path is not exactly what we envisioned, after all. Also, you could always try again at some other point after changing strategies. Nice video.

My first "all in" at a dream ended up flopping. It was disheartening when didn't go as I hoped. However my life needed structure so I double back into my old line of work to support myself while in the mean time going after my dream in my leisure hours. During this time, I have been saving money in order to either take time off to work on my dreams, or transition into something better. I plan to transition and leave by next year, take some months off to persue creativity full time and see how it feels. I don't expect myself to make money in that time off, but I feel like giving myself the time to do my creativity will be a gift to myself worth giving. I am aware of the pitfalls of negative self talk and fear- so this time around I feel a bit more confident in my decision. However, if I do need to double back into a 9-5 I am okay if things need to flow that way in order to support myself.

Sorry but I've just heard JungKook something?? Right?

Thanks for sharing your journey, the honesty and self awareness you had going through it all is admirable.

hello

First of all, I want to thank you for taking the courage to sit in front of a camera and tell your experience. For introverts, this is really difficult, so I really appreciate it.

I feel very identified with everything you have experienced. I am at a point in my life where I could consider that I already know how to draw to "sell" but still not enough to make a living from it. It is quite frustrating at times, and having to think about that "tug of war" in which you enter a "normal" job and then return to your projects, again and again, is truly exhausting. I never had the opportunity to go to a university and live the experience of learning to do that type of work with colleagues and receive that feedback, I have simply been myself. I see many of my colleagues on the internet come and go, all trying to make a living from what we love (illustration) but it is certainly very overwhelming to see incredible artists having to put their projects aside, for one, two, or several years... It is inevitable to feel that concern, and I do not want to be negative, I just feel that it is nice to be able to empathize with other artists knowing that many of us are going through the same thing!

Even so, we all know that there will be nothing in the world that fulfills us more than illustrating, honestly all the depression, bad days, stress, go away when I see art, I create art, when I see someone like you Riniapple, it honestly fills me with life and hope, and that is why I get up every day, to be able to touch people's feelings just like you did with us!

Thank you for making art, thank you for feeling, thank you for being so genuine and so real.♡

What a genuinely delightful human being. Beautiful, openly emotional and honest, please universe keep this precious lady safe!

Thanks for sharing your story, I have a lot of feelings on this topic, and I appreciate your perspective. It's really difficult to monetize art. Whether you're self employed or going from contract to contract, it comes at a steep cost: changing your art to suit the market or the client, spending most of your time on business management, the stress of feast and famine. I've been self employed for 10 years now and I'm honestly exhausted. The last few years have been so hard, I've gotten into debt to try to tough it out. For a long time I loved it. I was a workaholic and thought I thrived on the excitement of it, but in the end, it was unsustainable both financially and emotionally. In an ideal world, people would be able to devote themselves to art and other worthwhile pursuits without worrying about financial survival, but we live in this world, so we do the best we can with the choices we have. From where I sit, that's exactly what you've been doing :)

Very brave and admirable from you to share this.

Thank you so much for the video. I watched the whole thing, while making my art (crochet) and drinking instant coffee starting into the day. Thanks so much for sharing your journey. I wish you all the best and above everything to enjoy your art and believe in yourself. <3

As an aspiring writer, I do appericate creatives who are transparent about their story, and it takes a lot of courage to take the risk. It's awesome to hear that you aren't giving up on your artist dreams. Can't wait for the next chapter in your journey 😊

i find it quite easy to listen to you talk. i can relate but you don't seem like much of a failure to me. sure, things didn't turn out how you had hoped, but failure isn't the end. you weren't born fully formed. everything in life is part of a journey. maybe it meanders. maybe it doesn't end up anywhere. but that's life. perhaps the only true failure is giving up forever

Hi!

I just honestly did the same thing as you just a few months ago, and I'm scared but also excited to finally pursue illustration again. It's so nice to see a kindred spirit. ;-;
I've been quite hard on myself recently, but this video just gave me the boost and kick I needed to tough it out! Thank you so much.

You didn't fail, you're brave and you're doing what it takes to pursue your dreams.

Thank you for bearing your soul Riniapple. I wanted to become a fine artist but was afraid that I could make a living thru painting. Had this fear when I was a teenager. So advertising here I come! Did this for over 50 years. All the time being so unhappy. Please create art that makes you happy! As for the money part that's a hard one! If you can live creating art and not making a living at it is truly something that you will have to come to terms. In 2020 I was laid off. So that's my unhappy ending! Now job, No money! Living with a relative and too old to find another job in the field that I chose. You do what makes you happy please!

Stop being shy and just be your self you got this but please don't stop keep making videos so i can leen about your story i love watching artists journeys i too will start my you tube art journey very soon

Can relate. Thank you for sharing your story, i really needed to hear that im not alone with these thoughts and struggles in career and dreams

Of course she can leave it without consequences because women got support, family, friends, government and a simp bf ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Hello dude, As a fellow Artist who also took the risk and resigned from a toxic job, I want to say that Don't give up, keep on moving forward, and your time will come, I promised. As for me, I just got a job in a Triple-A game company, which is a dream come true after almost a year of struggle and loans and stuff, Don't give up; Keep on moving forward

I like to listen to your videos while Im making breakfast or cleaning so I can build up inspiration for when I'm free to draw my webtoon. ❤✨️🍓

You lasted 6 months. I lasted for almost 2 years before I finally decided to go back to having a 9 to 5 again before my savings run out. We can talk more about it if you like.

😍your art is amazing

I work a job from 9 to 5 and i am exhausted that i can't do anything afterwards the routine is killing me
I saw some tutorials about blender and i have a vision about what i wanna do but i am so scared of doing the leap i have saving of 2years if no emergency comes but all i keep seeing now is how fiverr is to overloaded the competition is huge about the security of a stable job ,but as a woman i keep feeling this sense of doom i am nearly 30 and didn't do shit because i am scared of the difficulties i keep wanting my dreams and want to be in my safe space

Thank you for sharing your moving story. I don't know if you are aware, and I certainly don't want to offend you in any way. I do want to help you very much to achieve your dream. Please, please, please look into neurodivergents in women. Especially ADHD or AuDHD. Women are often undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. Unfortunately, that means that we experience many internal and external struggles and often are our own worst enemy. Anxiety, doubts, negative thoughts, depression, perfectionism, masking, etc. Often, we are not aware, and that makes it more difficult. There are some books as well as resources online on this topic. You can ask me more about it if you'd like. I wish you all the luck and million opportunities in your near future to achieve your goals. Sending you all the hugs 🤗 and love❤🍀

imagine if we had a discord to support each other on taps and webtoon even if it was just views.that would be cool

As a full time freelance illustrator for 4 years, it’s easier to make money by drawing what others want, like commissions and fanarts - which can be a sacrifice of ‘not drawing what you 100% want’ but can still be fun and great learning experiences! Original art is harder to gain interest but possible in ways like Patreon and Ko-fi. So I still feel like my original art is a side job 🤭 Definitely still always feel insecure even 4 years in 🫣

Girl whyyy did you study geology 😭

Very relatable! I'm a creator in his 40s and all of this still applies. Love your illustration style; thanks for the video.

I love your art style! ❤

cheer up, for us!!
feel so tired and lost, and saw this video, thank you sooo much !! may we always be walking on flowery roads..

There will always be jobs! And I bet that one would take you back in a heartbeat if you ever needed it, just sayin’. Also - as someone who dropped everything once to take a chance on something completely alien (packing up, moving abroad); it’s never not worth it. Either your new experience is amazing and you’re happy, or you gain some perspective that the other things you were doing or this thing you left weren’t THAT bad (usually it’s the first one) but it’s a win win either way.

People say life is short but it’s the longest thing you’ll ever do. IMO it’s never too late to do anything so fuck it. Go for it! We’re all cheering you on buddy.

Most important thing for you, young artist to get that we don't sell passion. We help sold products and if it's profitable then we got job. I run away from srawning cause I just wasn't good enough. Simply like that. I fulfilled myself in smth similar: UI design. It's tech and research based but still artistic enough. And UI sells sh*t. E-commerces and apps lives and dies by good UI. Find smth similar and art will come in time. But it's most important to understand, noone want to pay for ouer passion. There have to be profit in it for customer and that's nothing wrong with it.

Get a job as a Geologist in the public sector and fucking coast. It's not like the private sector. As long as you get your minimal work done and attend meetings you're golden. Spend 70% of your day working on your passion projects. Get the safety net and fulfill your dreams. Best of both worlds.

These days I am enjoying listening to your videos while iam drawing.. it inspire me.. and i want to tell you that you do really great.. you have always been.. and your dream is coming true.. i can see that.. your art is really great and you have a special and beautiful style.. you just have been in some struggles.. we all have struggles in some point of life specially with our limited thoughts and believes about ourself but it was never about how good you are or your art.. because you have been always good enough.. sending love 💖

Hii! I am new subscriber and I'm so glad you didn't give up on your dreams. Your art is so beautiful 😭✨💖

I love SVSL! I always listen to their podcast! Do you ever participate in their monthly drawing challenges?

Hi Riniapple, i just wanted to say that even though our stories are different, I can relate to so much you said in your video...especially looking and applying for work while you actually want to pursue an creative career. For a long time I had odd jobs here and there. I would stay there for a few months or a year, but always end up leaving it for more or less the same reasons. But every time I had time to pursue my art (in my case writing) I would find myself checking for jobs, getting distracted and wasting time. The perfect balance I ended up getting in the end was getting a freelance job were I wrote and managed someone's website. This allowed me to work from home and also have time to dedicate to my writing. Not going to lie, it is still difficult not to spend all of my time on the freelance work (because that is the only work thats bringing me income at the moment). A hard lesson I had to learn was that, just because it (my writing), isn't paying my bills at the moment doesn't make it less important. I have to add that I am very lucky to have had very supportive parents and husband at the moment. Without them, my life would have been so much harder.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I'm looking forward to reading your comics. I've read your comic "Follow your art" today, and I enjoyed it a lot!

Keep well.

Hi everyone!! ヾ(＠＾▽＾＠)ﾉ I just wanted to hop in here and say, "WOW." Just absolutely, wow. I am in disbelief at how many of you actually watched this video. Not only that, but the whole 1+ hour thing!! The many extremely thoughtful comments from so many of you have me tearing up. I can't believe how much we all share in common through our feelings, our struggles (especially with self-doubt and anxiety!), and life experiences. I'm still working through responding to as many as I can, and I sincerely apologize if I am unable to respond to yours, but please be assured I have read each and every one. And each and everyone has brought a huge smile to my face. Some a laugh, and some an eye-brow raise...? (☉‿☉✿) Ahahahaha!

Thank you all sososo much again for taking the time to listen to my story. I feel so connected to so many of you. I feel this overwhelming sense of warmth within my heart. And I feel this renewed sense of excitement to get going with this new comic project I've been dreaming of releasing. I'm crossing my fingers that the story I share through this comic will touch many of you in similar ways. And to those of you who are like me — getting up, and falling down, and getting up again to chase your creative dreams — I wish nothing but all the best to you on your journey!! It's not easy surviving as an artist in this world, but to those of you who are brave enough to keep getting up even when you get knocked down (and after taking a well-deserved break to recover, of course!), I commend you. And I believe that although you may not be making any money from the work you put out there, your work is priceless nonetheless. You are sharing a real part of yourself with the rest of the world — a part of you that is likely to touch and inspire someone unexpectedly. And how beautiful is the thought of that (｡◕ ‿ ◕｡) It's likely that you've already touched someone with your creative work! Try to think back and remember. It's so easy to disregard and sweep kind comments under the rug, especially in a world full of so much negativity and criticism. Just keep hold of all the memories of you have of reaching others with your art. Keep hold and let that continue to fuel your fire.

(✿◕ ‿ ◕✿) Love, Riniapple