ADHD & Empathy

I do this and I don't like myself for doing it 🙃

This. THIS. Whenever my friends are trying to open up i struggle between listening to them talk and just not say anything (which can seem like I'm not listening and just don't care when i am listening but I'm just struggling about how to respond, do they want advice? Someone to vent to? Someone to tell them they're in the right and give them permission to feel certain emotions because otherwise they just take all the blame?)

OR, I let them rant for a bit then gave them my honest opinion or share my story with them to let them know they're not alone, that what they're feeling is valid and sadly common across the globe, (but i struggle to know where i should draw the line, sometimes i came off too strong and they start shutting down, other times they think I'm mocking them or belittling them by giving off 'you got it bad but i got it worse' vibe when it wasn't my intention, i try by best to keep the attention on them, but sometimes they don't like that either, it's like, sometimes they feel like I'm making a big deal out of nothing)

Thing is, we're all struggling, sometimes you just need to tell people straight up what you want. My friends group are still really really reserve cuz i live in a conservative country, but we've made progress, i always tell them if what anyone does in the group bothers them, they should speak up. It doesn't need to be to everyone, just to someone who you trust and they can get someone who's not afraid to tell people off for things to notify the group.

Lmao, i think i got carried away writing this but i guess I'm dine venting 😂😂

Somebody explain

I also make excuses for my bad behaviors

Yeh it took me a really long time to realise that some people don’t interpret this as it’s intended!

the pain, the memories.

omg same

Once again I am compelled to ask, is it INFP or ADHD?

I literally learned that this isnt "normal" last year at 29 years old

Yeah as an ADHD person you need to learn cognitively the things that you should and shouldn't do in social situations. Your natural reactions are usually wrong. Ask me how I know.

YESSSSSS, THANK YOU!!!!!

Yes - some ppl don't realise 🙏🇬🇧

Nah! You’re a one upper!
Stop blaming everything on adhd

Same with autism

Ahhhhh exactly. Feel like i need to give folks a disclaimer so they dont think im blowing them off !

I've tried not to do this and I just mentality implod waiting to not tell them, hey me too this.....

OH WOW

Oh… so that’s my ADHD doing that? I thought it was a normal thing…

Well it is a Reese brother telling a story. Like the collaboration 😂 !!

Finally. No one has ever understood this. Now I do my best to be quiet. 😅

I find the only people who dont understand this are narcs. I empathize with a person, a narc does not understand how to empathize so they totally misread this sharing feature. I sit and listen and let them feel what they are going through. I have compassion and empathy but rarely do I exhibit sympathy and thats what people really want when they dont want you sharing the story. They want to be in their victim mode and that is usually narc or covert narc behavior.

How my ADHD shows sympathy? You are not your bi-polar disorder you are soo much more than that. It makes no sense why you would refer to yourself as your ADHD.

I love being able to blame being an asshole who only thinks about himself on my ADHD. Even though I make a conscious effort to listen and respond in a polite way (otherwise known as being polite), it’s good to know all the effort is wasted and I can just blame a very common personality trait that is easily overcome with just the smallest amount of effort on this diagnosed problem I have that actually makes many other more important aspects of my life a living torment of loud thoughts, impulsive actions, and confusion.

✔️

At 59 I've discovered I've been doing this all my life 😮

Can spot the narcisstic person within two sentences, usually theirs cause they constantly interrupt yours to one-up

I used to do this but have stopped. ADD or not, it's best to just sit and listen at certain times.

so I guess you are only allowed to say something about yourself if you are directly asked a question?

Anothee aha moment. Thank u

I couldn’t understand I did this until I was almost 30. Haha

Jojo?

I make sure to find likeminded people. The talk is non stop cause we remind eatch other of more and more experiences. And that is how an egg became the solution to fix cancer

EXACTLY!!!! Oh my God, THIS rt here....

People using ADHD to cover bad behavior is such a cop out. If you're aware of it take control of it. It isn't an excuse to continue your poor behavior.

My ADHD Dad shows empathy by tutting and rolling his eyes. 😡

These videos explain sooooo much about me 😮. Thank you 😢

I work so hard at not doing this. I am not actually listening to what people are telling me. The amount of effort It takes to listen to a story, and not interrupt is ridiculous.

Haha!! Its true.

OMG Yes. I feel so guilty when I do that but I can’t help it. I want them to know I understand.

Dale Carnegie communication courses, actually teach that you should do this. Not to “one up” someone, but to relate to them in a manner they understand. You do not try to outdo their story, you validate it, and share some of your own experiences. That’s the “converse” in conversation.

This is my life right here!!! Im so bad but its my "I Relate, I feel you!"

YES !

❤ this is so true I get so frustrated having to explain myself all the time with people thinking that I am doing that

I've learned to only give a sneak peak of my story by saying "this is about you but I do understand how you're feeling because "sneak peak" but that's a story for another time. You aren't alone. Tell me more".. then I shut up.

Which do I admire more? 🤔 The pink hat? Or the striped socks? 😂

This one hit hard

This is so key. I think for us ADHD folk, communicating that properly to people is very important. I always personally say, “I’m not making about myself at all but here’s a similar experience I’ve had that helps me understand what you’re going through because I deeply understand.” Then I make sure I always immediately remember, write down, and lead the convo back to their story. People that love you I believe truly grow to understand this communication style.

So true.

(In the middle of this I got a text. I answered it then came back and kept scrolling. Then realized i didnt hit send. And had ro come back.)

I used to see lots of the dudes videos to the left. Where did he go ?