How Cis Men Treat Me (a Transman)

You changed your body, but it seems you still think like a woman. You can change your body, but can you change your brain ? Did your interests change ?

So sad... She thinks she's a dude

This is such a video a woman would make 🤣🤣

It doesnt just get sexist. It also gets slightly homo....

Being a man sucks, demand of performance is overwhelming. You chose(oh no, that's natural) harder sex. If you afford some experimentation, check out contruction jobs - i guess your test cycle will help you with physical demand. See how fkin wild country it is compared to office job as a woman

You'd pass as a gay dude

If im a cis man, then you a fag#@.
I am a man, you are whatever you wanna call yourself.

Dont ever call me a cis man to my face, I will break your nose! I'm a man, and dont call me anything else

Ew, there's is so much transphobia in this coment section by wannabe sigma males. While not out, i'm usually masculine enough to be "one of the boys" and most of them, while making the occasional racist or sexist joke, still have standards. They do pretty gross things but aren't misogynistic assholes. my brother and father are very manly, cisgender, heterosexual christian men, but they show their emotions and society is yet to crumble. i strive to be like them. Positive masculinity is real, it coexist with positive femininity and i think we could all learn a thing or two from it

Society puts different expectations on men. You will now be judged more by your status and financial standing. You may find that both men and women have these expectations of you. As a result, you get listened to more when you talk about ideas and plans, but you get listened to less when you talk about your feelings. Most of us don't feel the need to relate feelings as much as women do, but we show feelings in other ways through our actions , humor and comradery more than our words. It seems that you are still used to female ways of communicating. It's a trade off.

A man produces sperm.
A woman produces eggs.
See? Super easy to define.

as a cis dude, I can tell you the reason men are more open with interacting with you is because they aren't afraid of coming across as a creep. men often feel like they have to walk on egg-shells around girls. you haven't acquired 'male privilege' lmao

Soon you will join us in talking about “disgusting things”. Until you understand that part, your transition will always be incomplete.

Having grown up as a girl and most likely a feminist, you just dont understand it and why it is a part of being a guy.

It's a female pretending to be male while not understanding men

when you said that you can't/find it hard to be emotional with other boys all I could think was "Why?" because in my mind it just isnt something that you do.

Not to discredit your point at all, I just wanted to point out something:

You mentioned that you started transitioning as a child and noticed people around you to listen more and take you more seriously.
I am cis guy and Ive experienced something similar around age 14 or so.
It might just be about older people realising you are getting closer to adulthood, so they can expect more from you.

I remember when my mother first started talking to me about important things at that age, using a normal tone and having a proper conversation, I realised she probably thinks Im finally mature enough to have those conversations, when in reality I felt like I was ready like 2 years earlier.

i smell bullshit. there is no evidence that adults listen to male teenagers more than female teenagers.

All the things you're talking about are Normal Guy Things...we're NOT close.
We might be buddies, we fist-bump or high-five, we talk about the ball game or some awesome play or bad referee call, and then we go about our way. We mostly Do Not make a 'new friend' in the restroom.
Most of our feelings are bottled up inside and WE deal with it, because they are Ours. We are expected to Help Others...Lift that heavy box, take out the trash, and we regret, at times, when No One says Thanks...Try opening a Door, out in public for strangers...For guys, that is just the 'polite-thing-we're-supposed-to-do...MOST of the time, there is no 'thank you'. That is a small example of EVERYTHING that guys accept in their daily life. Male Suicide is Far Higher, just as Transitioners is, because it is just an aspect of Male Life that can't be taught or 'they' can't accurately warn you about...Life as a Man, is DIFFERENT, but never think, that it is easy.

Yeaa not so fun huh? 😂😂😂 welcome to the club nobody cares guy

I find the term Cis man offensive. Out of respect for the majority of men and women who don't use the term cis, you shold really stop using that term

It's interesting you didn't notice how less close you get with people until much later. I transitioned mid-twenties and it was one of the first things that I blatantly noticed. It's much more lonely on the other side.

men suffer in silence, indeed, and often.
yet... as men need something so deep, i don't think this is another thing to be placed upon suffering men, why don't women not just actively engage in conversation with guy friends, but actually go out of the way to be there incase they do feel like they can lean on you.

So you grew up and became an adult and people started taking you more seriously? No way, bro.

interesting to hear, but you cant be a man as a woman, its biological and it makes no sense. Its like a plane wanting to be a car, makes no sense, its trying to get the advantages without actually getting them, but getting the disadvantages.

But yeah, welcome to the life as a man, tbh its not that bad, like men have different needs than woman, which is biological, so all things men are missing like you said, they dont need it that much.



I wish you a good life, you probably have one of the hardest ones on this planet, now you have basically lost the benefits of being a woman and gained the disadvantages of being a man without getting the advantages of a man.

One thing I'm wondering about as a cis man whose also on the spectrum - I'd love to know if trans-men have ever listened to guys like Rollo Tomassi to see how they'd read that type of commentary, or even milder MGTOW like ThinkingApe, AaronClarey, or BetterBachelor. I ask because while I think there's a lot of content that's quite valid in red pill and black pill (think of a lot of hoe_math's clips) - men are in a situation where it's impossible for them to have had the female experience, and I think trans men might be able to dissect why it is that men would feel like so many (feeling is 'most') women only want the top 5% of men, that if you're sub-7 or sub-8 or under 6 foot you're an automatic creep, etc. etc.. I say this because the evolutionary psychology discussion right now seems really cold and I think women need a better look than the whatever podcast would lend them.

What does becoming emotionally vulnerable mean? Sounds awful.

Get rid of the word cis!

I see a lot of transmen who completely fail to understand how men operate and immediately view not acting or thinking like women as problematic. Fuck all that, let's drink and play video games.

I don't think you fit in all that well among dudes. The reason why theres "rude talk" is that you're not really supposed to get offended much as a man, as a result lot of jokes can be dirty. If you do and constantly say some joke is wrong, others will start to shut you out and think you're a bit of a wuss or gay at best, or realize you're a woman at worst. On the flipside a dude who constantly berates women comes off as insecure, something you can retort to with a joking jab of your own. In general an ideal man is not expected to be obsessed about any topic for too long if it isn't their hobbies or similar passions or work. And getting upset is the fastest way to show your insecurity about the issue.

A person who constantly gets upset about what he says is the last person a man will share his feelings to, nobody likes to walk on egg shells. If you want a man to open to you, you need to have a calm environment (sauna, bonfire with booze etc.). If he shares his soul to you and your first response is critisizing what he said, you just betrayed his trust and solidified his belief that he shouldn't open to anyone.

Men opening to each other to begin with is incredibly rare, usually only among close friends and only in very specific situations. Despite spending time with your male close friend every day, you're lucky to get him to open up 1-3 times a year. You're not going to be able to change this behaviour by insinuating that men should be less like men.

Think you need to explain 'Cis'.

Oh yeah your really passing with the feminine way your talking and decussing things. Here's the a hard reality men probably don't want to be around you. You scream annoying, weak, and stupid. Let me get you on a little secret about men. Every guy who meet doesn't give two shits about you till you prove yourself to them. The guys your hanging out with are probably gay men or weak ones. Its not a problem. You have a problem with being and acting like a man.

Boys club, cute. I dont care if you mutilated your breasts , this is a woman

Sorry dear, but you still look butch lesbian to me, which is perfectly fine, imo. I guess we truly can delude ourselves of anything these days, with others 'affirming' it. 😢
They've been forced to affirm it. Most don't want to, or actually give a shit. It is what it is. Why the lies though. And this 'stealth' word is so toxic. Call THAT what it is....pure deception. smh
Live your life as you want. Just be honest! It's that simple.

Sorry, Pinocchio, you’ll never be a real boy.

Big surprise, a woman doesn’t understand men.

Youre not a guy ....never were, never will be. Live with it...

You’re still a woman

The fact that you're aware of your lack of emotional intimacy since you 'transitioned to a man' and are making a concerted effort to be more open to other men demonstrates that 'gender' is not innate or ingrained. It's just sex roles and stereotypes and you can choose to buy into them, or not.

yeahhh we kind not talk about feelings because we are told that iits all our fault and as you too mentioned it... take to much space and that is not our function, we are just expected to do things and find solutions and make things work without any recognition nor regard for if we wanto to or not and we are judged for having feelings or oposing to anything women say even when it is about our own feelings, we are not entitled to those either, we are told what our feelings are and judged by the interpretation they have about the feelings without ever asking us about them, and when we do open up, it better be positive and having to do with the woman, otherwise you are agressive and these feelings are going to be used against you to force you to conform in every argument in the future without any restrain or empathy. When men open up their feelings get weaponised and they become weak, and a weak man is a turn off for women, there is nothing they despise more. tha's why men never say they are depressed in a marriage, cause divorce is almos certain and then you'll have even more to be depressed about and no one is going to help you, no one, not even the state, to the contrary the state will just help your ex take averything away from you and make you appear like a vilain or less of a man because you were depressed and opened up.
If strange women are super friendly to you it is because they don't see you as a man. Being a man is hard and lonley. BTW testostorone also give you a sense of urgency and focus and boosts your selfesteem. you get better at doing things consistenly and get more objetctive and dont have so much patience for talking just for talking, you get a little more disconnected from your feelings which i thing repels one from talking about feelings, you just want to do something about the problem and if you cant talking about it just seems like waste of time. I noticed it when my testosterone levels were very low some years ago when i was depressed lonley and overweight, so i took some testestorone and began going to the gym and my levels went to almost 1000. its two very different ways of thinking from low to high testostorone levels.

Americans are really rude as men. I'ma just point that out.

Please don't unalive yourself like other born women assuming men. Most less-than-alpha men don't represent most of us.

Notice how you get to have your oxygen pump of previously female support?

I don't know you, and I know it might be offensive. But I do come from a place of support honestly.
I think it's great that you're learning the male perspective. I also do not deny your legitimacy.

I dislike the term stealth when it comes down to sexual terms. I've been stealthed by a dimly lit room. hamburger helper, a BJ, and a cheap date only to learn some things.
Men not talking about their feelings also covers not opening up about certain types of non-consent.

I know this isn't you, but try and keep in mind men don't tend to care about themselves more than the project at hand, but it's not exactly patriarchy, as it is as laying down a life for the furtherment of what is important.

Women ARE important.
If war, patriarchy, uh, rules on who dies first, with rape being the less torturous thing we leave our wives and kids to to be assumed...
How can we men take ourselves seriously or not?

Life is a lot of projection.

Make sure you pay attention to Russian conscriptions making sure their family gets paid in the wake of their death.
They know they won't last 8 days.
Are you prepared?

Men are useless. Cannon fodder. The first to die.
For family.

The idea that we don't respect women as a whole is pretty frivolous. tbh.

We are meeting the accusation only now.

only, now.

burn

I wouildn´t date a trans woman,

Always whining

You seem to have adjusted to your identity as a trans man, but there are still things you have to understand about men and emotions. We do not show them unless we have lost the ability to control them (temporarily). We do not talk about our feelings and deep emotions with other guys. It's not in our psyche.

I wonder how much grown ups talking to you more had to do with your age or your gender. It's natural to talk to young people more as they become adults.

And I thought i was a dork.

So you found out how much it can suck to be male, congratulations

I listened with interest to your post but as a Gay man, I have to say, this is something you will just have to deal with.
I know from experience that str8 guys who don't know I am Gay generally interact with me totally differently to ones who know I am gay.
Just as men do when in female company.
As far as I'm concerned, in 99.99% of cases, we are born either Male or Female.
There are varies degrees of "straightness and gayness", but generally I find it's either one or the other.
As it's not practical to have change rooms, bathrooms etc specifically for Gay/Str8/Trans/ etc. etc. we just have to go with it. I do not agree with Trans women competing in women's sport or vice versa. I don't agree with Trans Women in Women's change rooms.
What I do know is that the vast majority of people only accepts difference if it doesn't affect them.
What to do? I don't know.
Have we come too far?
Perhaps just too fast.